was my sister B.U to be offended by this ginger comment???

[gingee]

Ok don't want to drip feed but will try to be brief. My sister is 20 and is a jr manager in a shop. She's staying with us at the moment and has just come in from a long shift a bit flustered. Apparently a man came in to her work today and she served him, he is sort of a regular customer, he called her 'ginge' and then asked if she was a natural ginger (she is), he then said 'but are you a Real natural ginger then?' and sort of nodded suggestively, leaned over the counter and nodded at her crotch region.

She laughed awkwardly and took a step back, he said 'let me see your eyebrows you can normally tell from the eyebrows, oh they're sort of ginger, go on then are you a natural?' whilst leaning over and looking rather pointedly at crotchal area! she said 'well they're Brown but-' he cut her off and said 'oh you're one of a kind then' smirked and left.

She feels totally stupid for taking offense as she didn't reply with some sort if cutting remark or even told him he was out of line, as it was a customer and she was taken aback and there were other people to serve.

Now her colleague heard the general gist of the exchange and said 'ugh creepy'.

The guy comes back an hour or so later not happy with his product. He starts on the colleague about how he wants a refund, colleague tells him to come back next day as she can't issue cash refund right then etc. But if he comes in in morning, area manager will sort it. Sister comes in, tries to deal professionally with guy even though she dislikes him. He leaves unsatisfied but no ginger comments are made or anything like that. Long story short colleague rang manager to inform them of this guy wanting a refund and says '(sis name) tell manager what he said about you!' so sis recounts story and manager says he will be telling this guy not to make comments like that and he won't accept it etc.

Sis genuinely thinks the comments whilst in bad taste and totally uncomfortable for her are what he construes as flirty banter. He's twice her age easily she's in no way interested and has before actually told me about him saying things to her about how he 'pounded' a girl then dumped her because she was ugly but he 'ruined' her (vile) first, and how he made a room full of women 'dripping wet' when he walked in, none of these seem at all appropriate to be telling a woman who's serving you in a shop who doesn't even know your first name but hey ho. Sis thinks he's just an odd guy, but she's now in her words shitting it in case her boss tells him off tomorrow and she then has to serve him again. She thinks she's coming across as a humourless tell tale. She's thinking of ringing her boss and forbidding him to bring it up with the guy.

Basically he's a fuckwit and you all need to tell her not to worry as she's done nothing wrong!!

utterly gross. If i was the shop manager I'd tell him to f**k right out

makes my blood boil that women have to put up with this kind of sleaze. He needs to learn that that kind of shit is not tolerated.

Your poor sister. no she's not humourless, she just doesn't need someone old enough to be her father perving at her

Of course she wasn't being unreasonable. Doesn't matter if she is ginger, blonde or brunette his comments were completely inappropriate and the area manager is right to be having words with this customer. In fact your sister should have said something at the time, especially in her management roll as she should be showing her staff that behaviour like that is unacceptable.

Good on the colleague for letting the manager know. He needs to be banned from entering the shop. If the shop is in any kind of managed centre with security they can add the creep to the list of undesirables and security will keep an eye on him.

If this had happened in any other social situation think how that would seem - you wouldn't tolerate it. Just because he's a 'customer' doesn't mean he isn't a horrible, sleazy a*.

No, she is not BU. This man needs to catch up with the times.

If the manager tells him never to do it again but does not ban him, she will have to accept that, I fear, this once - and if he comes in and behaves himself then she will have to live with it. Of course the slightest repetition and the manner must ban him.

Which is what I would do first time if I were the maanger.

This take me back to my first (and last!)shop job. Not ginger, but was a young trainee! I tell you if I had been allowed to do exactly what I wanted, quite a few stupid men would have died a horrible (but justified) death. Most weren't sexist, but they did try my patience, showing off in front of their wives etc.

YY to a trip to the feminist boards. and check out (even add this story to) everydaysexism.

GingerSis: Just ask yourself, "would this git act like this with a man?". Case closed.

Your sister is not being unreasonable at all! The man is a sleazy bastard and should be banned.
When I was 19 I was reduced to tears by a sleazy workmen. It's completely unacceptable.

This has nothing to do with ginger!
He's a perv, bully, creep.

Respect to your sister's manager for standing by her staff.

I understand that your sister is young, and would rather just put the whole thing behind her. However, she has done nothing wrong, she has done the right thing reporting this incident to her manager. Her manager is ensuring the safety of his staff at work, so credit to him, and credit to your sister too.

Let me correct myself. He does not need to catch up with the times. He needs to learn to behave himself.

Unlike some activities, this would not have been acceptable at any time in living memory. My apologies for suggesting otherwise.

Urgh.

If he comes in again I'd call the manager straight away and have him banned from the shop.

Everyone has the right to do their job without being sexually harassed or embarrassed.

This man sounds utterly vile.

He sounds terrible.

The ginger comments are offensive, but so are the rest of his comments. They all add up to sexual harrassment, and given the other comments, he'd be saying offensive stuff regardless of your sister's hair colour. It's completely unacceptable behaviour.

Your sister has done the right thing in telling the manager what this man has said and the manager is right to be having words with the man.

Just asked my OH and he said "she's done nothing wrong, she should be able to go to work without being sexually harassed, even by a customer"

In other words, not just women who think this is unacceptable, a normal bloke thinks you don't say things like that.

I think your sister is under-reacting, if anything.

Not unreasonable, he is nasty creep, and it's a shame we allow people to leer and make judgements based on hair colour when we wouldn't skin colour.

inspired by confuddled, just asked DP for his take. He said he can't think of any circumstance these would be acceptable. He could just about imagine a stupid and drunk teenager pondering a collar&cuffs thing, but not somebody of the guy's years.

The Vike MSN didn't just try it on, he repeatedly tried it on. It was impossible that DSis wouldn't have gotten the [non]joke the first time, but he kept coming back to it. And this was after the, frankly disgusting previous brags about ruining a first time for a girl, etc.

Please PLEASE get DSis to do some reading and get very angry indeed. I'm not blaming her - I'm sure she was trying to be good at her job, as well as that same crap we were all raised to do (be people pleasers), but her lack of censure has allowed this git to say these things and, indeed (from the sound of it) escalate. She needs to get angry!

Ps. I am ginger. Wasn't when I was 20 (not that that was ever some twice-my-age's perv's business).

I worked in a shop and had a customer commenting about my weight. She was asked to leave by the manager. What happened to your sister is far worse and would justify being told never to return!

PS Vile man. >sigh< on phone.