To think that it really shouldn't be this hard?

[doyoulikewaffles]

School holidays, that is.

My DC always play up in the school holidays but this time they are being worse than ever. I literally cannot keep up with the amount of mess they are creating, and the amount of demands that they are making.

DS (5) is trashing his bedroom 4 or 5 times a day. Not just messing it up but properly trashing it; tubs of toys poured out everywhere, clothes pulled out of drawers and wardrobe etc. Literally trashing it. It takes me around half an hour to tidy it up each time he does it, and he refuses to help.

DD (9) is refusing to have any baths or showers and literally has a screaming tantrum if I mention that she needs to have a bath. She then starts tallying up the amount of baths she's had in the past week or so and then tries to bargain saying that she shouldn't need one today. She does need a daily bath though. She sweats a lot. But she has refused to have one for 3 days now. She also has tantrums when anything is suggested that she doesn't like. And she hounds me for food, from the second she gets up. If I say no to them both about food then they just get things out of the fridge anyway and make a total mess.

Just had a quick shower and DS has got monopoly out EVERYWHERE. I need to go to the post office and they will both take ages to get shoes on and will no doubt both be crying as we get in the car as they don't want to go.

DH also makes loads of mess during the school holidays as I don't work during the holidays so he just leaves everything to me. And then moans when he gets home to a mess.

I am fed up.

Stop indulging them.

If he wants to throw toys all over the floor, great. He tidies them up. Give him an hour and warn him you'll take them away if he doesn't. After the hour, take in the black bin bag and get rid of the,.

Bargain with your DD, shower or quick sink wash.

Clean up the monopoly and put in in the bin/ the boot of your car. Ignore all screaming and crying.

I'm inclined to agree with peach.

Whats the point in wasting 2 hours tidying HIS room. I would say at the end of the day he is to help you with tidying, if he doesn't, shove them in bin liner and he doesn't get them back unless he puts the away.

As for your dd, you need to be teaching her about the whys of needing a bath (I'm sure you already are) rather than, just do it. Also her tantrum making isn't necessary at her age. If she insists on acting like a toddler, then treat her like one.

At the ages that they are, they'll only get away with what you let them get away with.

Good luck and try to enjoy the rest of your holidays.

Broken record technique - keep repeating instructions, they will soon get sick of arguing! I also agree, if you threaten something, follow it through to the letter and they will get the message.
Lastly, praise any little thing they do right and ignore (to a point) the negative stuff and they should pick up on what you actually want them doing

I agree that you need to stop indulging them too.

Bu constantly clearing up after them, saying no to snacks but then giving no consequence when they take what they want anyway, you are effectively teaching them that they can do what they want.

Agree with the others - take control. Kick the kids out to play in the garden or go to local park if they can't behave inside. It's beautiful weather.
If they refuse to tidy up, a black bin bag works wonders. You don't actually have to throw things away, but the kids aren't to know that. Eventually there will be no toys left, and they will have to earn them back one at a time.

Have set times for food. Breakfast, mid morning snack, lunch, mid afternoon snack, evening meal. Have a well stocked fruit bowl for any hunger pangs outside of those times, and offer free range from that, but nothing else.

Having and enforcing rules is difficult at first, and just seems like more effort, but they make life easier in the long run. When everyone knows the rules, and the consequences of breaking them, they tend to follow them automatically. And then, from time to time, you can have fun together in breaking the rules - and this will seem like a special treat.

I would leave the toys where they are and have a blitz with him at the end of the day. Say to him "Are you choosing to tidy up or are you choosing for Mummy to take them away?" Give him responsibility for his decision. If he chooses the black bag option, get one toy out tomorrow for him to play with. If he treats that properly, he may have another after lunch. Lock the bags in the boot of the car/garage.

Your dd may have breakfast once she's washed. The longer she takes fussing about getting in the bath, the longer it will be before she gets what she wants ie food.

Post Office first then park. Set a time limit for everything to be done - so you have to be home by 4. The longer they spend faffing about shoes, the less time they'll get to play.

Once all the treat food has run out, take them to the shop and give them a couple of quid each to spend on sweets. Get them a tub each and label them, and everything they buy can go in there. If they eat it all in one go, that's all they're getting apart from fruit for the rest of the week.

Then broken record until you get your way and grab a bottle of wine for after bedtime

Thank you everyone for the replies and suggestions.

I know I need to get tougher. I guess it will get worse at first before it gets better but I need to persevere.

We went to the post office and the kids were surprisingly compliant, although they did both have a moan on the way there. I just ignored their moans though. I have said to DS that he has an hour to tidy his room, otherwise I will be putting it all in bin bags.

Good on you! Keep it up. Like you said, it will get difficult before it gets easier, but stick to your guns and the kids will get the hang of things surprisingly quickly.

Great suggestions.
Make sure you follow through.
And get a padlock for your fridge!

Don't worry about the mess, don't worry about DD having a shower unless she's meeting friends from school/granny.

Tell DH its the holidays and to either tidy up himself or fuck off moaning.

Why does DSs room have to be tidy.

I hated being made to tidy up, it ruined goidgames. I really resented my DM wanting things tidied.

As an adult I'm messier than I'd like, because at 46 a little bit of me still still resents all that putting things away before you'd developed the game to the end.

Lol at the "they won't do this, they won't do that"

Have alittle think, how do you think your grandparents would have dealt with that kind of shit

Some people really do make a rod for their own backs, you have to chuckle

Precious mine is only 17 months but is a bit like a puppy, he needs walking twice daily!