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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To complain about this fitness instructor?

52 replies

mondaybluesblues · 14/04/2014 14:26

I normally exercise at home, but about 3 weeks' ago I started going to a class with a friend every Thursday night at a local council run sports centre.

The class is quite small, and although I hate to use the word, it seemed quite cliquey from the off, with the instructor walking around the class whilst teaching, chatting to people. I am fairly quiet, and the friend that I went with is very chatty and always seems to click with people instantly, so the instructor immediately took to her and chatted away to her and didn't welcome me to the class or bother with me. I mentioned to her that I have an existing shoulder injury, but that it's ok if I do light weights and she was really snappy and just said 'well you NEED to build up strength in the area'. She also kept inferring during the lesson that I am unfit because I've never been to her class before, which isn't the case.

I went to the second class and again got totally ignored by the instructor. She's regularly walk over to my friend during the class to chat but ignored me. If I said anything to her in a jokey way as the rest of the class were doing then she would just look at me and raise her eyebrows as if I wasn't worth her time.

Went again last Thursday and again she spent the whole lesson walking around chatting to people and totally ignored me, although she went up to my friend several times and asked if she was ok with the exercises etc. Then after she'd wandered round everyone she said to me 'oh sorry I forgot about YOU again, I always forget about YOU' in a really nasty dismissive way. I just smiled. Then a bit later I was struggling with an exercise and she was chatting away to my friend and kept looking at me and ignoring me so I said "Forgotten I exist again, have you?", and she then turned the music off and started lecturing me about how she hadn't forgotten about me, but that she hadn't had time to check on me that lesson. Then she said "I'll make sure I stand near this lady so I don't ignore her now", whilst cackling away.

At the end of the class she apologised in a really insincere way, and I said "I think your behaviour is really rude, but I will vote with my feet and not come back" then I walked out of the dance studio.

I mentioned it at reception and they were appropriately sympathetic and said that they do get other complaints about her behaviour being cliquey and unfriendly, and I went home. But now I am getting more and more cross about how she treated me. The class was £6, so not cheap, and I expect to be treated respectfully and decently like most of the other customers seem to be.

I am not sure whether or not to contact the head of leisure at the local council and make a proper complaint or not, or whether to just leave it?

OP posts:
Sizzlesthedog · 15/04/2014 07:57

Maybe the instructor is insecure and needs to be liked by all, hence why she avoids the ones who don't pander to her desire to be popular.

arethereanyleftatall · 15/04/2014 08:03

I wouldn't complain about this. It's just subjective. As you say, just vote with your feet.

LtColGrinch · 15/04/2014 08:23

Is the instructor employed by the Gym or is she one that hires the room?

If it's the former then the gym may do something about it - but it's very subjective & she's got a room full of others to say she talks to them.

If it's the latter then tough luck, you've voted with your feet already & you're not going to go back (if she'd have you).

It does sound like you were almost looking for a reason to complain about her TBH - you're there to get fit, not be bezzy buddies. If your shoulder hurt you'd just do less on that side surely???

FunkyBoldRibena · 15/04/2014 08:42

It's her job whether she is paid by the gym or self employed - to teach. Not to chat and ignore one of the class and be sarky when this is pointed out to her.

If she is paid by the gym it might be the complain they are waiting for to take action.
If she rents a room then the gym need to know what sort of atmosphere and impression she is giving out of their gym.

Sunnydaysablazeinhope · 15/04/2014 08:46

Those at the beginning that suggest this op should move on as she feels she's being treated badly for a service she's paying for are either trolls or idiots.

Complain. You should be given a free class session as comp in my view.

BigRedBall · 15/04/2014 08:49

God I'm glad you're complaining. What a cow.

nicename · 15/04/2014 08:58

Vote with your feet. The class isn't worth it if you come out more stressed than you went in! Would your friend come out in solidarity?

You pay good money for a class so don't do it! Find another one with an instructor you like/get on with/respect.

I'm lucky to have some lovely instructors. One did have a slightly 'open' policy when it came to booking, so you would rush from work to get to a class that you had booked a week in advance and find a gaggle of students/housewives tittering in the front row whilst getting jokeily told how naughty they were not to book but she would let it slip, just this week (same gaggle every week). A couple of times I missed my class because there was no room - AND got a snippy email from the gym telling me off for not attending! I left that gym (too expesive anyway!).

nicename · 15/04/2014 09:00

...If enough people leave the gym will either have to speak to her or not renew her contract (most a freelance, aren't they?). You just can't treat clients shabbily!

Flossyfloof · 15/04/2014 09:01

Actually Chicky, I think I really like Flossyfoof, although I had never considered it myself.
I didn't mean that the instructor should be more friendly with people she knew and unfriendly with new people. I think familiar would have been a better choice of words. Sorry it was early!
It sounds to me as if the OP was a bit sarky with her as well.
I don't see the point of taking offence at everything. I have been known to complain but I also try to give people the benefit of the doubt. The mellowness of mature years, I suspect! The OP says that she suffers from anxiety and this probably contributed to her sense of unease.
I wonder what the OPs friend felt about this?
The receptionist wasn't an appropriate person to speak to about this.
Honestly I still feel that life is too short.

Noodledoodledoo · 15/04/2014 09:04

If this was a PE teacher speaking to a student like this I am sure all the people saying let it go and move on would be suggesting complaining to the school.

I agree put your complaint in writing - and then find an alternative class.

BoffinMum · 15/04/2014 09:07

She sounds like a miserable cow and I am glad you are making a complaint. You have told her you think she is rude to her face, and she has done nothing, so writing to the gym is appropriate, I think.

kaizen · 15/04/2014 09:09

Word of mouth is good in these cases too - there is an instructor at our gym who likes to speak only to the better looking women. It is well know though and his reputation is trash. Instructors don't always realise how much members talk to each other inside and outside the club. I'm not sure i would bother with a written complaint. Also, her class is small and surely the sign of a good instructor is one which people are clamouring to get into.

kaizen · 15/04/2014 09:11

Sorry - get into her CLASS, not her Grin

Original poster
mondaybluesblues · 15/04/2014 12:31

Flossy, I haven't mentioned anywhere that I get anxiety Confused

To the person who said to do less on my bad shoulder, well this is what I planned to do, but during my first class she kept picking at me in front of the class and telling me to do more on that arm. I had light weights and she came over in front of everyone, took my light weights off me and handed me heavier ones.

OP posts:
MrsDeVere · 15/04/2014 12:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kaizen · 15/04/2014 12:46

I don't go to classes with instructors who make sexist comments, mention anything about getting a 'bikini bum', have had cosmetic surgery or a face full of make up, are cliquey, say 'girls' - so I only go to one class now Grin

Nanny0gg · 15/04/2014 12:47

You were paying for a service that you didn't receive.

Definitely complain.

EvaBeaversProtege · 15/04/2014 12:48

Monday - how does your friend feel about it? Is she still attending the class?

Original poster
mondaybluesblues · 15/04/2014 12:49

She agrees the instructor was rude but she is still going to attend. She's not a particularly loyal friend though, and only look after number one. Not that I expect her not to go, if she enjoys it then that's her choice

OP posts:
Rhine · 15/04/2014 12:50

I've been to fitness classes which are horribly cliquey, by far the worst was a Zumba class at a gym. There was a group of older, retired women who clearly had nothing better to do with their time and attended every single session. They would always ensure that they stood right at the front every single bloody time, sucking up and acting all "pally" with the instructors and sharing "in jokes" with each other. Woe betide anyone who stood in their places.....

Pathetic.

Flossyfloof · 15/04/2014 13:11

Apologies, Monday, I made that bit up, I thought you had said you were anxious and were winding yourself up. Sorry.
Many years ago I used to "body" for Rosemary Conley franchisees who were just getting their qualifications or whatever. One of them divided the class into those who were used to exercise and those who weren't. I interpreted that as "You fatties, I want you this side and you proper exercisers you can be over here". I am sure she didn't mean it like that but instructors can make you feel uncomfortable. She doesn't sound good at all but I still wouldn't waste my time especially if I wasn't intending to go back. I always think maybe these people are having a particularly tough time.
To Rhine - I always try to go to the front so that I can see better what the instructor is doing and see less well other people when I am doing it wrong. I don't like going with friends though and I don't like Zumba so that is not me and my mates.

MistressDeeCee · 15/04/2014 13:17

Its a good thing to stand your ground and complain, anyway. Its no good for the feelgood factor letting things go and supposedly 'moving on' when someone's made you feel like shit. You know how you feel and as a customer its your right to speak up about poor service.

LtColGrinch · 15/04/2014 13:19

In several months of Pilates I never said more than "Hello" and "Goodbye" to the instructor - TBH I wouldn't expect, or want, any more interaction than that.

And if I had "issues" I certainly wouldn't expect a friend that enjoyed the class & had no issues to leave just because of me.... Hmm

Original poster
mondaybluesblues · 15/04/2014 13:21

LtColGrinch, at no point have I said that I expect my friend to leave too. Quite the opposite in fact....

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 15/04/2014 13:58

In several months of Pilates I never said more than "Hello" and "Goodbye" to the instructor - TBH I wouldn't expect, or want, any more interaction than that.

Really? I would expect to be checked on to make sure I was doing things 'right', with added suggestions on how to improve.

Otherwise, might as well do it at home.