To lock my 16 nearly 17 yr old son out whilst we work

[Shinyshoes1]

Brief back story
My 16 year old had a few problems at school .
He was permantely excluded after numerous incidents ( never violent ) just being an arse , not following procedure , arrogance etc .. The school gave him plenty of warning , however , the finally kicked him out
He went to a " unit "
He left there at 16 then went to ' boarding ' college .. Not boarding as such but he lived away from home , got a second chance , earnt whilst learnt got board mon - fri and came home weekends
He was doing welding and ended up with arc eye , he got scared and didn't go back

Fast forward ,
He's at home dossing about , not interested in much just interested in poncing money out of me and his father ( tbh his dad , we are a family unit , doesn't give him much it's me )

We both work .

My neighbour has just pulled me aside and said how , while we are working , he has his friends in ( although I don't like it ) They are smoking drugs and swearing , very regularly And rolling joints in the back garden .

AIBU in locking him out whilst we work
I don't know what to do :-((

I feel sorry for you.
Don't have advice but can he not look for a job and move out?

Have you spoken to him about the friends coming round and the drug-taking? I don't blame you for not wanting this to happen in your house, but couldn't he just get a copy of the front door key and let himself back in?

How reliable is your neighbour? Which drugs?

Is be locking him in not out I think!

I don't see how locking him out will help really, won't he just end up doing the same but out in a park or elsewhere, and possibly get into more trouble?

Have you talked to him about what his plans are now? Why are you giving him money, I'd say he gets nothing until he starts at least looking for a job or getting back to college

I really feel for you on this one OP - been there etc.

You need to stop the money altogether. He won't be able to buy the drugs or laze around with his mates if he's completely broke. Tell him he needs to find a job and start paying his way if he's not at school/college any more. It's so hard to do, I know, but he's getting into bad habits already which need to be nipped in the bud asap. Be prepared for some retaliation too, but stick to your guns. Offer to help him find something and job-hunt together if he'll let you.

Re locking him out, I'm not sure what that will achieve - presumably they could just all congregate in the park instead! I know it won't be in your home, but hanging around in the park would be equally worrying IMO.

What is likely to happen if you lock him out? He will roam the streets? Possibly ending up getting into even more trouble?

I think you need to perhaps look at other options first. Beginning by talking to him about what is and is not acceptable, that he is being supervised and what is going to happen if he breaks the rules. Certainly about money, you may have to toughen up there.

And tell him that you have told the neighbour to feel free to call the police if they witness anyone with drugs?

I just think that locking him out is shifting the problem, not solving it.

Stop giving him any money, hes old enough to make his own money.
I know jobs are extremely hard to find now but he should still make the effort.
If you do give him money, make sure he earns it round the house.