When to start divorce

[rb512022]

Hi my wife said she was done with us a couple of months ago......no cheating....just a big difference in parenting style with our 12yo step daughter and our 2 boys 6 & 2

We have been together nearly 10 years married 3 .....we are both 40....

I would love to reconcile but she is hard. As nails.....she said she is moving out of the marital home in 4 weeks as she has a place to rent.

I moved out 4 weeks ago to basically keep the peace...

I love her and the kids with all my heart but nothing I do makes a difference....I have been an active dad and don't shirk from my responsibilities.

After sorting out custody schedule things have gone quiet.....She asked for a divorce and I regretfully said ok...

Not heard anything for 4 weeks so do I take charge and start the divorce off ?

I have tried my best to go nc when possible but would give anything to reconcile but she seems to have made her mind up.

Do I take up the baton and start it off ?????

Very scared........miss my family

Aww, sorry you're feeling so shit.

You say nothing you're doing is making it right, what is your DW saying is the problem? 'Just' the differences parenting styles? How long have they been going on? (just wondering whether it's because of your DDs age? Things do have to change at 12/13, I have a 13 YO and DH did struggle a bit to deal with that change).

Is it telling that you see her as hard as nails? Usually people who come across that way aren't really and it's just protection for their vulnerability. You know her best of course, but could that be your way of protecting yourself, to see her like that?

Don't have any advice, didn't want to reae and run though. Sorry youre going through this x

Have you posted before? is this the woman who's parents passed away, then she decided that life was too short and the kids could do whatever they wanted, ipad at the table etc?
If so, I think she is going through some sort of crisis and you should give her some space/time. Perhaps she is finding it easier to say she wants a divorce than to set the wheels in motion.
I can see why you want closure and to get on with your life now but if you don't actually want the divorce, why would you be the one to start proceedings?

Someone more knowledgeable will be along soon, I'm sure. I'm pretty sure you have to be separated a year before divorce can take place. There is lots of useful information online. I would leave it for now if its not what you want.

Estya.....yes that's me

Sorry to hear this rb Have not read your other thread.

Not much advice, but these are my thoughts: I am divorced - my XH did not want to divorce, which meant i had to divorce him. Someone has to divorce the other. The person who divorces the other has to give grounds in some detail. Unpleasant experience. This will be hard/impossible situation to get into if you don't even want the divorce.

I am wondering if you should ask for this thread to be moved to 'Relationships' rb. And maybe add a link to your previous thread for background info if you'd like?

There's still as much traffic in Relationships as in AIBU, and you will get good support there.