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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder if some women fib about their due dates to friends and family?

57 replies

bowserthegreat · 11/04/2014 21:59

Because virtually everyone that I know that has has babies in the past few years has had them 'a few days/a week early'. All 3 of mine were late but no one else ever seems to go over due.

DH's friend's wife has just had her third and told me confidently during pregnancy 'Oh mine are always early, this one will be too' and lo and behold, it was born a week early.

Another woman that I know has just had her second baby, and again, as with her first, her second was 'a few days early'.

I've heard before that famous people give a fake due date so that it looks like they've had their baby early. AIBU to wonder if 'real' people do this too?

OP posts:

Artandco · 11/04/2014 22:00

Erm no. But ds was born at 37 weeks, ds2 39. So both ' early' but real dates

MsVestibule · 11/04/2014 22:01

But why would somebody do this? What's the advantage over giving a genuine due date?

PeachandRaspberry · 11/04/2014 22:02

No one tells the baby the due date, do they?

I know some people tell porkies because they have interfering families.

Famzilla · 11/04/2014 22:02

I'm sure they do. But considering that anything after 37 weeks is considered "term", I have never really understood why people become so obsessed with the 40 week mark. There's only a 4-5% chance of baby being born on that day anyways.

flipchart · 11/04/2014 22:04

What an odd post.
As far as I knew the date isn't set in stone and the baby make its apperence when it's ready.

The date given are a prediction.

SerenaJoy · 11/04/2014 22:04

I thought about doing this with DC2, as I got so sick of feeling like a watched pot with DC1 (who was 13 days overdue).

But I didn't in the end as I'm a terrible liar and knew I'd get confused and give the game away.

PenguinsEatSpinach · 11/04/2014 22:08

Erm, well this time I won't tell anyone my due date in anything but the vaguest terms and, if they press me, I explain that I'm always late and prefer people not to be waiting for news.
I don't really see the advantage in pretending to be early

DoJo · 11/04/2014 22:22

Unless you have a particularly interfering family or hate having people asking 'have you had it yet?', I can't imagine why you would lie - is it not more likely that people are just having their babies a bit early? When I was born, dates were worked out to 38 weeks, now it's 40 - babies who are 'early' now would have been 'on time' or 'late' 20 years ago. Of all my post-natal group friends, only one went over due, was was born on the due date, a couple were early by a few days and one was a planned section.

TheScience · 11/04/2014 22:23

Seems quite sensible to tell people you're due a week or two after you are actually - that way you don't get texts/phonecalls asking if you are still pregnant as soon as you get to 40 weeks.

Mine were both born at 41 weeks though.

AhCmonSeriouslyNow · 11/04/2014 22:26

I was deliberately vague about mine giving a rough date - "around the middle of August" - rather than a specific one to avoid all the "Have you had the baby yet?" stuff to some extent.

I went over by about a week with both mine.
I guess that some might give a later date with the idea it will avoid people bugging them about "have you had that baby yet" as it will likely be born by the time the fake, later due date is reached...but I wouldn't say it's all that common.

breatheslowly · 11/04/2014 22:31

I an see why you might want to fib, but I can't think of anyone I know who has or I suspect of fibbing. The amount of "have you had it yet" hassle you get must vary a lot. I didn't get any and DD was 15 days late, but I am not someone who other people tend to hassle.

PurplePidjin · 11/04/2014 22:36

I was convinced DS would be late (first baby) so breezily told friends "early December"

He was due 30/11 and arrived at 38+3

So to me it's pretty normal to fudge a bit, just because of the inaccuracy of the EDD itself.

I wouldn't describe him as early though, to me that implies pre-37 weeks and all the stress that entails

Aventurine · 11/04/2014 22:36

My mum urged me to have an induction once i was a couple of days overdue as "it's embarrassing having to tell the people at my lunch club that you still haven't had the baby yet."

Original poster

bowserthegreat · 11/04/2014 22:38

I hate the way some people seem to think that having their baby 'early' is a sign of them being super brilliant at pregnancy/childbirth/motherhood.

I think that's why I ended up feeling a failure as all mine went so overdue

OP posts:

TheCrackFox · 11/04/2014 22:40

Both of mine were a week early - I loathed being pregnant, both deliveries were assisted and I am an average mother. I don't think anyone reads anything into being late at all.

SallyMcgally · 11/04/2014 22:41

My DF begged me to lie about due date to my mother as she got so hysterical and overwrought when my nephew and niece were born. Even now she declares portentously that they were lucky to be born alive. Neither were especially dramatic deliveries. So I did lie, and it was much easier all round.

CookieMonsterIsHot · 11/04/2014 22:50

2 of my 3 were 'late', i.e. over 40 weeks.

1 of the 3 was born on the due date, lots of other mothers commented on how unusual that was.

I have never ever met anyone who seemed to think that having their baby 'early' is a sign of them being super brilliant at pregnancy/childbirth/motherhood

Who are you hanging out with?

dailyscoop · 11/04/2014 23:04

I was very vague with the DC2's due date.

Mainly because I went 2 weeks over with DC1 and got sick of people ringing me saying "OMG have you not had it yet?"

WanderingAway · 11/04/2014 23:14

I only know one person who was born 'early' and that was my db. Everyone else i know was born 'late'.

I dont know anyone who lied about their due date.

TheWomanTheyCallJayne · 11/04/2014 23:20

2 of mine were 6 days over (though it's not that precise is it
One was three months early and the last was ten days (or actually more depending on whose dates)
So two early, two late. Unless you're adding up how early and late and taking an average

frogslegs35 · 11/04/2014 23:29

I'm not sure I understand the issue of not telling people who ask 'when are you due?' I've always said the date I've been given. Never been vague - they asked, I told.
I've had babies at 39+4, 40+3 and 40+5. Of all the women I've known in my life who've had a baby only 2 had theirs exactly on EDD they were given. It's not an exact science is it? there's a 4 week window for full term.

Ziggyzoom · 11/04/2014 23:29

Both my DD's were early - does that mean I was "super brilliant at pregnancy"? I never knew . I think you may be projecting a bit OP.

honeythewitch · 11/04/2014 23:32

Dojo, I have never heard of a due date being given at thirty-eight weeks.
I thought it had been forty weeks for ever? I am really confused.

TheScience · 11/04/2014 23:32

*I hate the way some people seem to think that having their baby 'early' is a sign of them being super brilliant at pregnancy/childbirth/motherhood.

I think that's why I ended up feeling a failure as all mine went so overdue*

Um, what? I've never heard anything so ridiculous!

Mrsfrumble · 11/04/2014 23:48

Mine were born at 39 weeks and 39+1. I don't think this makes me super-fabulous . In fact, it was rather a pain in the arse as I wasn't ready either time [disorganised].

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