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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My neighbour can't force me to paint a fence can they?

12 replies

exmrs · 11/04/2014 21:47

Moved into housing association property on road mainly privately owned, next door elderly man has lived there 50 years and owns his house.

Previous tenant in my house was elderly lady who lived here 40 years and elderly man did lots of things for her in the garden and house.
Now he has been painting his side of the fence and during winds front fence broken and he repaired it by putting new pieces in which didn't match colour of old fence so he painted both sides.

I thanked him for this and he had done it before I could knock on and see whose fence it was.
During the conversation he mentioned the huge back fence which he had said he had painted in his side but said it's my job to maintain as my fence.
Fence is crappy and held up on his side by wheelie bins, it's not concreted in its a wooden fence.

He then asked me if I worked and when I was going to paint the fence.i was took aback as I have only been in the property 4 months and there is bigger problems to sort in the house which cost money .

I will paint fence when I get around to it but don't like him telling me to paint it and think he is used to coming on gardens to do what he likes as he lived next to the same woman for over 40 years.

He is very nosey and I was warned about him by my other next door neighbour who said he complains about everything and especially if you a housing tenant.

On moving day as I'm unloading van he actually said could I make sure my back gate is locked as it was blowing open and shut last night , I I'didntt actually live there that night but he was annoyed and couldn't believe he collared me as I'm carrying stuff . He Also made comments about how my sobs climbing frame should be put into the ground

Anyway how do i say I ll do it in my time not when he says as
I'm starting to think If I give him an inch he will be in my garden moving things as to how he sees fit anytime he likes

OP posts:
Oldraver · 11/04/2014 21:51

No he cant, just smile and ignore him.

MellowAutumn · 11/04/2014 21:52

He's a nosy old fuss bucket but hasn't exactly issued with w write to paint your fence has he - If you want to upset him tell him to piss off if you just want to live next door to him in reasonable peace, let him say his peace, say you will think about it and do it when/ if you want.

GoodnessIsThatTheTime · 11/04/2014 21:52

The gate blowing can be incredibly irritating. Ours had to be locked or it creeks all night and I'm sure would annoy neighbours as well as us.

climbing frame - sounds like he was trying to be helpful. Sort of thing my dad would say to new neighbours.

no idea about fence though. We discuss replacement with our neighbour but neither of us paint them...

Marne · 11/04/2014 21:52

Just ignore him or tell him to paint it himself if he's that bothered.

We have a neighbour who's a bit like that, last year our guttering got broken and was flapping a bit in the wind, the neighbour phoned the housing association pretending to be my husband and asking them to come and fix it Shock.

exmrs · 11/04/2014 21:57

I totally get the gate thing but I didn't live there then and he surely could have picked a better time than when I was unloading a van .

Climbing frame he wasn't being helpful he was saying it would blow over the way it was dug in , but it didn't after the storms couple months ago, I get the feeling he has to comment on everything

Of course I don't want animosity but then again I don't want him in my garden every two mins

OP posts:
DoJo · 11/04/2014 22:23

What goodness said - he is probably just hoping things will go back to the way they were before, when he was obviously content with arrangements with previous neighbour. He might be going about it the wrong way, but getting a new neighbour can be very stressful if you are particular about the way things are done, so if you try and accommodate his more reasonable requests, he might well be the kind of person that is a joy to live next door to because they keep an eye on things and are happy to help out when needed.

NotTodayJosephine · 11/04/2014 22:40

You have to check the deeds. It's either his fence, your fence or a jointly owned fence. (Jointly owned would be the least likely). If it's jointly owned the deeds may also mention upkeep of the fence but it's unlikely to mention painting.

If he owns it then it's entirely his responsibility.
I think its worth finding out the actual legal situation even if you decide to go along with his suggestion that you paint it.

If it were me and the fence was his I would not paint it.

Otherwise, I would try and make it clear to him that you don't welcome his 'advise'. You don't want to be rude but you can be buisness like IYSWIM

NotTodayJosephine · 11/04/2014 22:41

Advice not advise. Blush

WooWooOwl · 11/04/2014 22:44

Elderly people get very worked up about things like this in my experience. As they get older the size of their worlds seem to shrink, and stuff that is not even vaguely important to younger people who are busy working and bringing up children becomes massively important to them.

I would try and make the effort to do the fence just for the sake of being nice and saving an old person needless stress, and it could be that he wants it painted so that it is less likely to rot, which is fair enough.

How much maintenance are you required to do in your contract?

AgaPanthers · 11/04/2014 22:44

Check your deeds.

OwlinaTree · 11/04/2014 22:46

Let him come into the garden and paint it.

Funnyfoot · 11/04/2014 22:48

NO

I haven't RTT but from the title NO he cannot force you to paint the fence.

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