To think ds3 should have asked before appropriating my good colour pens?

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

And to be a bit pissed off that, when I told him I thought he should have asked, he got stroppy with me because he's using the pens to help with his revision for his Highers, and I shouldn't leave things in (mine and dh's) desk drawer if I don't want people to take them and use them.

I am more than a bit pissed off with his attitude - the assumption that he can help himself to whatever he wants/needs of mine without asking, and I don't have the right to be pissed off about this. If he'd asked, I would either have said yes, or I would have bought him some coloured pens of his own.

These pens weren't cheap either - they are nice staedtler ones, that I use when I am doing zentangle patterns. And although I haven't used them in a while, I did buy them myself, and I think it is not that unreasonable for me to have my own things that aren't community property.

And yes - this is a much longer post than the original offence deserves, but AIBU to be pissed off at his attitude?

no, i have those pens and i hide them! if my sons got hold of them i would be peed off but really it's just what kids do isn't it? give them to him and get him to buy you some new ones?

What are zentangle patterns?

You're pissed that your son found something to help him revise, that you'd left in accessible place & he had no idea you didn't want it used?

They are pens. Seriously, give the kid a break

Depends on how you treat your desk drawer. If it's considered to be for your personal things, then he shouldn't go through it and he shouldn't take things without asking.

If it's a general location of things that are used regularly by the family, then I doubt that he thought he needed to ask special persmission.

Just Googled it. They look great. Kind of things i would like to draw.

Still think you are being ott though.

He was doing homework not drawing on the walls.

YANBU.

I have my own pens, I keep them in an easily accessible place and my DS (9 and 6) have been told to ask before using. They understand sharing is nice but not automatic and we're all allowed to not share the things we own. So a teenager should bloody well know that too, so YANBU at all.

Yes, i have to admit, i have no stationary

It's not the actual pens though is it?

It's the fact that he went into your drawer and helped himself to something that belongs to you without asking first

Yes, I'd be annoyed too.

I found a little bit of an "it's OK, it's only Mum's" attitude towards my stuff from my DD1.

I don't mind sharing in the slightest, but I am allowed to have stuff that's mine and not a communal-help-yourself so ask first

Depends where your drawer is, and whether the contents are normally considered fair game. But no, it's not ok for him to take your stuff. Just because you having a functioning uterus doesn't mean you can never have anything nice of your own again.

I have special stationary but I keep it in a special bag that the DC know they are on-no-account-to-go-into.

To clarify - I am not pissed off that he has found something that will help with his revision - as I said, if he'd asked, I would have lent him the pens, or got him some of his own. But I am pissed off because he didn't ask to borrow the pens, and got stroppy with me for saying so, and pissed off that he thinks everything of mine should be available for him to use without asking.

Wowser - zentangle is great fun, and there are easy patterns you can start with - and step by step tutorials online too. They are strangely satisfying to do - and some people believe doing them is therapeutic.

The desk drawer is full of my things, and the boys do know they should ask before borrowing someone else's stuff.

But it does appear that I am being slightly precious unreasonable, so I will just give myself a sharp slap, and put a new pack of pens on the shopping list.

I wouldn't be bothered. They are good pens for revision

Also I brought a large set of those pens the other day for my 2 year old in ryman. £2.99 in sale.

In the interests of full disclosure, I should add that I am a bit of a stationary addict. I love nice pens, paper, note pads etc, and sometimes I go to Staples for a happy little mooch.

I probably need Help.

^£2.99??!!^ I think I love you, Artandco!!

I am not a stationary addict but I do have pencils that are mine and mine alone, if any of my DCs would like to use them they can BUT they must ask first and there are rules on how they are to be used.

YANBU.

If he knows they're yours he should have asked, whether they're for revision or not! Having exams doesn't mean he has the right to do whatever he wants. And his attitude sounds a bit off. He should've apologised once he realised you weren't happy, even if he had misunderstood and thought they were for everyone to use.

My mum has a set of Caran d'Ache pencils, she never really uses them but they're precious as she didn't have many nice things growing up. When we were little she would sometimes let us open the tin and look at them, we sound like right saddos don't we but we knew we weren't allowed to use them for our colouring, we had our own cheapo ones. When we were older we were allowed to use them for special pictures. I would never have used them without permission!

If you buy a new set perhaps put a label on the pack so that people know they're yours.

I love stationery and have some similar pens but never know what to do with them, will look up these patterns :)

Yanbu

I use fountain pens (and may have rather a lot eachnwith a different colour of ink...) so someone else using them could damage the nib, especially if they are not used to using them. I would not be happy!!

I get the absolute rage when this happens as I treat each and every one of my Sharpies/pastels/pencil crayons like a member of the family.

So to find squashed nibs, clean breaks or broken lead is unbelievably traumatic.

Thanks SDTG

I used to love drawing patterns when i was younger and that looks right up my alley. And yes, i always found it relaxing. Similar to when i did jigsaws or sudoku. I'll look in to it

Ds2 has donated a pack of colour pens to ds3, so my pens are safely back in my drawer.

He's put them back in the pack in the wrong order, though!

Evict him.

It's the only thing you can do. kill him sounds too harsh

The wrong order would just be the last straw!

SDTG zentangle looks like my kind of thing! Thank you.

YANBU at all, I HATE it when people use my pens without asking. I hate it more when they don't put them back and I'm left with a rubbish one.

I'm a bit obsessed with stationery.

Here's a couple of my zentangles - they aren't very good, but I did enjoy doing them.