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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to refuse a 3 hour round trip just to deliver a forgotten wallet?

19 replies

fishandlilacs · 10/04/2014 20:02

My dh is away a lot with work, today he was 1 hour 20 mins away on site and he forgot his wallet with the company credit card in it. He was taking some clients for lunch with another company representative from abroad.

I rang him 5 mins after he left home to say he'd forgotten it, he didn't answer. I get hold of him about 2 hours later and told him and he was really cross with himself, but he asked me to drive it to the site to bring it to him.
I refused on several grounds:
I have a grumpy 2 yr old toddler in tow who is just recovering from a sickness bug,
I am recovering from a sickness bug,
I have recently had a car accident and am still recovering my driving confidence.
I have whiplash.
it would cost me about 20 quid in fuel,
it was a 3 hour (ish) round trip, my toddler would most likely fall asleep and i had a meeting with my business partner at 11.30 am on which I was relying on being during toddlers usual nap time

All of this could have been prevented because his colleague also has the capacity to pay for lunch for the customers on the company credit card but my dh was too embarrassed to ask him because it's his role as the uk representative (boss is based abroad and is over here at mo). he had to in the end because I refused. He thinks I was unreasonable to refuse.

In order to save drip feeding, theres more to this-I hate his attitude to my work, i'm in the process on setting up a business, yet my work doesn't appear to be important to him. The fact I actually had an appointment with my partner today was irrelevant to him.

OP posts:
CailinDana · 10/04/2014 20:06

Yanbu. If he was really stuck it would be kind to help him but he wasn't and you were busy. You need to have a serious talk to him about his attitude to your business.

JacqueslePeacock · 10/04/2014 20:08

YANBU in the slightest.

NurseyWursey · 10/04/2014 20:08

Good god surely he can just ask his colleague - no shame in that. No way were you unreasonable!

You're ill, you have whiplash, and you've got a grumpy child. Never mind the accident and the distance! YANBU

RoseberryTopping · 10/04/2014 20:09

Even without his attitude to your work yanbu. I can't believe he thinks you are Shock

Sandytrousers · 10/04/2014 20:10

Next time, pretend you never saw it. If you're setting up a business (well done and all the best of luck to you) then you simply don't have time to be his mummy.

What a berk.

specialsubject · 10/04/2014 20:37

there's a slogan:

'your disorganisation is not my crisis'

BlackeyedSusan · 10/04/2014 20:44

yaso nbu, at all.

foreverondiet · 10/04/2014 21:21

YANBU - could have quietly explained to restuarant staff and taken credit card details over the phone.

He is being unreasonable to even ask. Possible if it was 10 mins - 15 mins each way but any more than that unreasonable to ask.

RedFocus · 11/04/2014 08:10

I would have offered to send it via same day courier Wink he obviously would have had a long wait for it of course hehe.

diddl · 11/04/2014 08:14

HWBU to even ask you imo.

You did more than enough giving him the heads up imo.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 11/04/2014 08:17

YANBU

WillieWaggledagger · 11/04/2014 08:17

odd that he didn't feel able to ask his colleague (at first)

in my company it tends to be the most senior person attending who would use their company credit card (not a hard and fast rule, but it's the usual default), so in that situation the boss would have paid anyway

Gurnie · 11/04/2014 08:22

Yanbu at all. You sound as if you've had quite a crap enough week already without that to cope with. I can understand him feeling a bit embarrassed about it but it's not as if he was asking his colleague for his own money.

SavoyCabbage · 11/04/2014 08:24

He could have just got you to read the numbers out and they could have punched them into the machine in the restaurant. Nobody would have been any the wiser.

FunkyBoldRibena · 11/04/2014 08:25

3 hour round trip costing you £20 in fuel and missing a business meeting, versus just asking a colleague which will take approx 10 seconds and will cost nothing?

You need to ask him why he doesn't value you and why should you be his secretary/gopher/problem solver?

Ask yourself - would he do the same for you?

TheCowThatLaughs · 11/04/2014 08:29

Yanbu, at all!

Discombobulatedbob · 11/04/2014 08:29

He'd rather make you drive three hours then ask his colleague? Bonkers

KaFayOLay · 11/04/2014 08:32

Next time, if there is one, I suggest you send said wallet in a taxi.
At his expense of course!

Minnieisthedevilmouse · 11/04/2014 09:30

Yanbu. Men seem incapable of picturing others as important. No idea why.

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