I'm selling off some of my baby stuff (sob!) and had received an enquiry about my baby swing. Well, I say an enquiry, it was a 3 word email.
Is it clean.
I replied that it was, and a lengthy conversation ensued as to where I was, how much the item was (£45), if I had any other baby items. I said I did, crib, Moses basket, pram, bouncer etc. mostly with a pink hood / pink lining / pink blankets.
Oh no. I need blue. Can you get blue.
Well.. I'm not a shop, so no. I have what I have, I'm afraid. The swing is cream though.
Oh no. I will have a look and make the best of a bad lot.
I thought someone was winding me up, or that I was about to be PayPal scammed but sure enough, yesterday afternoon, the most colourful dressed woman I've ever seen in my life pulled up in front of my driveway. And when I say in front, in mean, she drove as if to pull on to it, realised it already had two cars and was full, and stopped her car there. And got out.
DH went out to tell her she would be blocking the road so she told him to move the car. Because obviously my baby shop has valet parking. My DH pulled it into a space right outside of our house (on a mostly empty residential street) as she walked by me into the house.
I took her into the living room and over to the swing. She said 'no, no, I need the toilet first!!' Okay, you're pregnant, I've been there... It's just across the hall. So I wait and wait. DH comes back in and so does the woman's older daughter (maybe 10) who she had left in the car. She flops (literally the best description for it) onto my sofa and puts her feet up on the coffee table.
I smile at her and she glares at me. She is a little bit scary.
DH abandons me and the woman comes in, I show her the swing. She asks if I can lift it. I say, it's quite heavy but my DH can take it apart and put it in your car. She ignores that and asks me again if I can lift it. I said that actually I've pulled my neck so can't, but have in the past as I'm the one who built it and put it here. She says if I can't lift it, she can't lift it. So she'll have to think about it.
What else do you have to show me?
Clearly thinking this is some kind of state visit to my house, I graciously lead her into the dining room, where all my baby stuff is laid on the table. I tell her briefly what things are and what they cost. She points to my daughters ride in Mini Cooper through the doors to the kitchen and says 'I'll take that, this stuff and the swing' thinks hard... '£40.'
Um... That's my DD1's beloved prize possession that's about 3 months old. It
was also hundreds of pounds and not for bloody sale. I explain this.
But look at your house! (She says, gesturing to my very average, slightly untidy semi) you don't need this car. I need it. My house is small. I don't have a living room or a garden. Or a bedroom.
Fighting the urge to ask her where she intended to put my daughters car when she clearly lived in a kitchen with ensuite bathroom I said again that it wasn't for sale.
How much for the car? She said again.
I was patient, I explained again that it wasn't for sale and she laughed and said that she knew that, she meant the one outside. The blue one.
My ford focus? Well.. That's my car, that's not for sale either.
She was annoyed by this, and being annoyed must make her thirsty because she asked me for water. I got it for her (noting that her scary daughter had moved into my DD's playroom and was emptying all the Barbie dream house furniture onto the floor.)
She asked for the toilet again. She stayed in there for about 15 minutes. Her scary child moved onto toy story toys. DH looked at me through the window looking puzzled.
She came back. 'Right, you want all my money don't you. I've come a long way and I don't need this. I'll take these sheets. And the swing. £65.'
Old sheets cost around the same as a Mini Cooper I see. I took the money, DH packed up the swing and helped her to the car. Came back in and started to empty the toys out of the basket under the high chair.
What are you doing??
She said you sold her the high chair?? I was just taking it to her car?
What??! 
I went outside and she sped off. Like she'd made a killing.
At 8am this morning she sent a message to ask how long until she could pick up my DD's car. I said about 6 years. She said okay.
Anyone had stranger?? I've got someone coming for a Bumbo chair today and I'm a bit scared! 