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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to have got to (almost) 30 and not know what contraception is right for me...

34 replies

Jewels234 · 09/04/2014 23:19

Realised this as I stood in sainsburys today crying because they had run out of fishcakes. I have just started a new pill and it is making me ridiculous!

I've been on some form of pill for the best partof 14 years. Nothing hormonal is right for me. I put up with it because I'm never offered anything else.

Is it just me who can't seem to find the right thing?

OP posts:

JustTheRightBullets · 09/04/2014 23:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nohootingchickenssleeping · 09/04/2014 23:50

Same here, same age, nothing agrees with me.

Brabra · 10/04/2014 03:24

How can non hormonal contraception not agree with you? IUD? condoms? The pill is not the only contraceptive available.

steff13 · 10/04/2014 03:36

You're never offered anything else? Have you asked your gynecologist about different options? There are lots of non-hormonal options, available both over the counter and from your doctor. What about a diaphram or a cervical cap? There is an IUD that is non-hormonal if you're thinking longer term. Here they sell sponges, I don't know if you have those there, but they're available over the counter.

ArrivedAtPanicStation · 10/04/2014 03:53

I'm 32 and have the same problem. The last pill I was on was 2 years ago, I caught myself screaming at DD.

My neighhbour put a complaint about me in. I was devastated, not been on the pill since. It sends me loopy.

Ericaequites · 10/04/2014 04:23

Lesbianism is another option. It's not for all tastes, but works fir me. Condoms and spermicide used together every time works very well as contraception.

sonlypuppyfat · 10/04/2014 04:29

Condoms every time my DH didn't want me on the pill pumping chemicals into your body just so you can have sex. We always found condoms very stress free.

redcaryellowcar · 10/04/2014 04:35

i feel the same, just had six week check with Dr who asked about contraception, i am bf and don't want to mess about with hormones. we are going to use condoms but dh doesn't much like them.

sonlypuppyfat · 10/04/2014 04:39

Would the cap suit you better then I think some men can be quite selfish would they take pills that messed up their moods and bodies.

KatyN · 10/04/2014 08:19

I hate the pill. but it took me 7 years of abstinance to realise it. When I finally found a man I wanted to sh*g the thought of going back on the pill totally freaked me out. After much reading round - and talking to friends - I got a coil. I was 29 when I had it fitted.

I think when you are young everyone thinks the pill is the answer and nothing else is considered. There are MANY options out there.. talk to your doctor but also consider asking mates what they use, there might be some useful recommendations. (I don't recomment abstinence - although it is 100% effective!!)

Allinson2014 · 10/04/2014 08:21

I'm the same. 31 now and I know that the pill sends me crazy too. I'm pregnant at the moment but I know I'll be asked about it at my 6 week check. I'll be breastfeeding too so that limits what I can use as well. Probably should have a proper think about it. Good luck finding something that suits you.

fideline · 10/04/2014 08:23

Lesbianism is another option. It's not for all tastes, but works fir me.

My GP has never offered me that.

NotTodayJosephine · 10/04/2014 08:30

It's easy once you have finished having kids. I got sterilised and it's the best thing ever. It's just fantastic.
The pill always made me more emotional too. I thought it had improved since I used to use it though.

unicornpoop · 10/04/2014 09:22

The pill sends me mental as well. Also tried the implant and never realised how bad it made it me feel until I had it took out. Im still pretty bitter about those years. I have the copper iud now, on my third month with it and it seems to be settling ok ish. Had a few major heavy painful and long periods at first (sorry tmi) but the last one wasnt bad at all. However, it does mess with your hormones a bit, even though they say it doesn't. (It says on the package insert that they dont actually know how/why it works, which I thought was weird ) Copper affects estrogen levels. And I've had quite a few spots on my face around the times of my period which is unusual for me, and very tender breasts....so I'm sure it effects hormones in some way. Its the best contraception I've tried up until now though in terms of emotions and crying and feeling crappy.

toolonglurking · 10/04/2014 14:39

I've had to completely give up all hormonal contraception, and am now relying on condoms and the knowledge that once we've had a couple of kids (hopefully) my boyfriend is happy to get the snip.

Its miserable but I do believe that some people just aren't meant to add hormones to their systems.

AuroraRoared · 10/04/2014 14:49

I can't use hormonal contraception, and so have always relied on condoms. I know lots of people don't like them, but I actually do - you can see them working, no hormones, and they contain mess as well.

The only thing which I don't like about them is that they add to landfill.

AutumnMadness · 10/04/2014 14:55

Just ditch the hormones. You do not have to do what GPs and family planning clinicians tell you. Yes, in my experience, they will all try to push some form of hormonal contraceptive on you. And yes, hormones do not agree with a multitude of women despite being fine for many more.

Condoms, female condoms, and plain old pull-it-out (just make sure you wash thoroughly if having seconds) are all valid alternatives.

trashcanjunkie · 10/04/2014 15:34

yes I feel your pain! I never went on the pill, but I had two unplanned pregnancies (the last one being twins!) fortunately I came around to the idea quite nicely both times, as I had to have a hysterectomy three years ago. At the time it was devastating, as I was single and hadn't 'finished' having babies, as far as I was concerned. Three years on, I feel very happy, cos I have a steady partner who is happy with my three boys, and we don't have any fuss about contraception, and I don't get periods. This, I am aware does not help you in your situation though. It's rubbish - I'm sure there's some kind of misogyny involved. Why the fuck haven't they invented the male pill?

rhinobaby · 10/04/2014 15:36

Autumn madness, there lies the road to an unplanned pregnancy. Condoms are ok but do have a higher failure rate. Withdrawal is not to be recommended.
Family planning clinics do not push hormones, they discuss all methods and find one to suit the individual. As others have mentioned, the copper IUD is a highly effective long term non hormonal method. Diaphragm also better than withdrawal. Try speaking to your GP or clinic again

fideline · 10/04/2014 15:39

My various GPs have always pushed hormones. I have a neurological condition as a result. I am not happy.

Somanyillustrations · 10/04/2014 15:42

Another one who feels your pain... I'm pregnant with what I think will be my last child, and really, really don't want to use hormones/condoms/coil. Pretty sure that one of us is going to be sterilised, but from what I've heard it is hard to get a referral until youngest child reaches 1 year. Not relying on breastfeeding to prevent pregnancy, as have two friend with VERY small age gaps (under 12 months) who were feeding exclusively and on demand, and mistakenly thought they would be safe...

vulgarwretch · 10/04/2014 15:43

I also highly recommend trying the copper coil. Can hurt a bit to insert, but 5 minutes later you're protected and you can more or less stop worrying about contraception for the next 10 years.

lurciolovesfrankie · 10/04/2014 15:51

Having had a couple of bad sessions with hormonal contraceptives, I have (for most of my 30 fertile and active years) used condoms - no accidental pregnancies. But I'm always shocked how hard medical professionals push hormonal methods (I even had a friend who came back from the doctors in tears after a long argument over this - she has high blood pressure and a history of clotting and has "no hormonal birth control methods suitable" on the front of her notes - and the GP still tried to push the pill on her).

ouryve · 10/04/2014 15:52

I just bled for 3 weeks out of 4 on the pill. Tried various ones. Happened with all of them. Between that and the libido squashing and general blah mood it gave me, it was bloody effective as a contraceptive.

I just used condoms with DH.

redexpat · 10/04/2014 15:52

Have you tried the patch? Works wonders for me.

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