To expect Financial support from dh

[Haveacwtch]

I lost my job last year and had a bit of a pay out so haven't gone Back yet.

My options are returning full time and long hours or retraining. I chose to retrain as me and h cannot both work long hours around the children.

I am in college now and volunteering two days a week as part of my course.

My income has now dropped. We always paid 50/50. I have some income but not like I did.

I have asked h to support me a bit either by paying more into our bills or giving me money every month. We don't have a joint account. I see this as reasonable. I take care of all chikdcare etc

My dad thinks this is terrible. I should not expect my husband to give me handouts. What do you all think. Is it unreasonable to expect not to be on my arse with money as I am trying to work around my kids. Thanks

I was in the same situation wrt decreasing my hours at work following having dd and therefore halving my monthly wage. I asked (ex now)dp if I could have some money from him as I was still paying out the same amount for bills as pre dd and we had separate money just putting the same amount in the joint account for bills. His response was to ask me why and what was he paying me this money for .

Although I have no advice for you, your thread has helpee to realise that his response was not normal and that it is a good job he is now an ex although that was for different reasons.

As for your dad maybe in future don't specify where the money to repay him is coming from as it is no one elses business but yours and dh's.

Wow, sorry op but I couldn't live like that. I'm the higher earner, but when dh semi retired I didn't expect him to keep putting the same in the pot, it would have been all of his wage ! Isn't the point of being a family is that its all shared ?
Do you at least have joint savings ?

Get £30 off your DH, pay your dad back telling him you earned it babysitting or whatever. Never borrow from your dad again and never tell him anything about your finances again (incidentally, not only did he not support your mum he also didn't support his kids if she was dressing you from jumble sales when he had money to spare)

Then have a conversation with DH about your family set up, joint finances, joint spare time etc.

Your dads an ass.
Your dh needs to step up and support his family.
Yanbu

What does your DH think?

The fact that he's not helping already seems to say that he doesn't believe that it's family money either. You shouldn't have needed to borrow from your dad.

Why do you even talk to your dad about this stuff? If you are not earning enough to live on, you need a joint account with your DH. Don't go down the road of getting an allowance.