To feel insanely jealous when I see a pregnant woman even though I have two healthy perfect boys?

[AJayne48]

I don't know why I feel this way, my partner finished our relationship (Absolutely devastated, even now!) when I was in the early stages of pregnancy with our second child (both planned).

DS1 is 2 and a half and DS2 is 8 months, I love them more than anything but I cannot help but feel really jealous when I see a pregnant woman, watching OBEM is a real struggle because I feel sad that it isn't me giving birth.

I feel horrible, I have 2 healthy boys and I know that I am so lucky to have them, I just don't know what has brought these feelings on and I can't seem to shake them off.

I know I am being unreasonable to feel this way because there are women who are having conception problems and my heart goes out to them but it has got to the point where I seem to be avoiding watching program's with pregnant women because of how I feel.

Is this heard of or have I got an underlying problem that needs addressing?

It is natural to feel upset that you might not have another child, especially as the choice was not yours, and it can take some time to come to terms with.

What honey said.

If you have two under 3s then you'll probably be knackered, which will make any bad feeling a hundred times worse.

YANBU to feel anything - so long as you aren't running up to pregnant women and spitting at them then you are entitled to feel however you feel. I would guess that it's a displacement emotion though, and it's about seeing women who (at least in your eyes) are getting what you didn't have when your partner left your during your pregnancy.
Do you feel jealous of the fact that they are having children, or jealous that they are able to enjoy their pregnancies without dealing with the heartbreak of a relationship breakdown? Do you imagine how happy they will be when they are given their newborn and their partner is there sharing it with them?

It is completely understandable to wish that you had had all that, but it sounds like you might need to address some of the feelings that you have over your relationship ending. Have you spoken to anyone about it in a professional capacity?

I feel a bit the same as my DS is seventeen months now and DH does not want another and time is running out for me.

I think your situation, being left at that stage of your pregnancy, is so devastating that it, and the consequences, are bound to take time to get over. No doubt you have been focussing on your babies and perhaps you need a little help you with things.

However, I think coming to terms with not having another baby can be difficult on its own for some people.

I think your feelings are probably fine, like honey said the choice of having more was taken away from you so it's natural you don't feel ok about it. Having said that, perhaps in time you will feel that you might have stopped at 2 anyway. Many more people have 1 or 2 dc than those who have more so it's more likely you would have stopped at 2 than not. I think allow yourself these feelings, there's nothing wrong with them and see how you go.

Thank you for your replies, I have never thought about it relating to my partner leaving me but I have felt so sad that scans, giving birth and bringing baby home wasn't part of our family experiences anymore and it was something that I had to experience alone.

I feel jealous that they have a life inside of them, I've never felt so content and happy (I have had a really bad upbringing) when my babies were growing in me and I was due to bring them into the world. Don't get me wrong I wouldn't be without them now but seeing others who are pregnant and due to give birth makes me feel so sad.

I have never told anyone how I feel so your comments have made me feel more at ease with it, I'm hoping that it is a faze and it will pass.

No, YANBU - I fucking hate PG ladies, new babies and all of the families with little brothers and sisters for their DC.

I also hate happily married mums and people that plan to have children.

Makes me insanely jealous.

I never had a DP whilst PG and so have missed on all of that gooey DH talking to the baby while in the bump, getting up with night feeds etc. Really feel like I missed out and it makes me sad.

BUT - that time has gone - it's not coming back.