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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that calling a tiny baby a 'sexy beast' is a bit odd?

69 replies

Catsize · 07/04/2014 22:10

Just that really. Was in a shop getting passport photo done and the lady behind me in the queue was talking to her baby, who was perhaps 4wks old or so.
She started off by affectionately calling him 'fatty' repeatedly, before getting him from his pushchair and making remarks like 'oooh, you are such a sexy little thing', 'ooooh, we are going to get your photo done because you are such a sexy little beast, aren't you?'. Apart from the obvious, that the child was neither fat nor sexy, I cannot articulate why this made me feel so uncomfortable, and I just found the whole thing a little odd. Is it me?...

OP posts:
coldwater1 · 08/04/2014 05:15

Annoys me when people refer to kids as sexy. They aren't sexy.

aGirlDownUnder1 · 08/04/2014 05:24

YANBU. That's just weird and especially doing it in public.

WeAreEternal · 08/04/2014 05:27

I cannot abide it when people refer to children as 'sexy', it makes my skin crawl. YADNBU.

^ this.

ICanSeeTheSun · 08/04/2014 05:55

I am 28 with an 8 year old and a 4 year old, not once have I called my DC sexy.

Cute, handsome, beautiful and other names but never sexy.

Seems grude to me.

PickleMobile · 08/04/2014 06:01

It's awful.

"Sexy is an adjective to describe a sexually appealing person or thing."

A baby is not sexual in any way.

TruffleOil · 08/04/2014 06:17

My MIL called my kids sexy when they were babies. I didn't consider the possibility that she meant it.

StealthPolarBear · 08/04/2014 06:36

" Add message | Report | Message poster LeaveItItsNotWorthIt Tue 08-Apr-14 01:38:24
YANBU my DM was told the first time he said this about my dc to not say it again. Ditto for when DD was a few months old and loved sucking her dummy/toys etc "She'll make a man very happy one day!" Ew."

Who said that? That is grim.

I don't like 'sexy' used to describe a baby or child but it is nice that she was playing with him. At four weeks I was still walking about with ,y eyes on matchstick!

thebody · 08/04/2014 06:47

God must have been lucky as never heard this said.

Yeuk yeuk!

nochips · 08/04/2014 06:48

YADNBU.

In one of our local papers recently there was a birth announcement put in my the GPs. It said something like 'A little boy weighing 6pounds. Very well-endowed, just like his grandfather'.

I felt nauseous.

nochips · 08/04/2014 06:48

put in by the GPs that was

thebody · 08/04/2014 07:03

nochips that's disgusting. I am really surprised at the paper allowing that.

Eeeeew.

TruffleOil · 08/04/2014 07:04

Ditto for when DD was a few months old and loved sucking her dummy/toys etc "She'll make a man very happy one day!" Ew."

Oh my god.

nochips · 08/04/2014 07:05

Yes I thought eeeewww too. And wondered how the DIL would have felt seeing that written about her brand new baby!

zippyswife · 08/04/2014 07:10

a stranger once commented on ds1 as being "sexy boy" when he was about 18 months. I was leftShock for a while! I didn't say anything as I just thought the woman must be genuinely very stupid or something.

Once SIL said ds (at time he was about 1) was "so flirty".... flirty? flirty? flirt? Shock Shock Shock what?

LifeIsBetterInFlipFlops · 08/04/2014 07:23

I think it's low intelligence and lack of vocabulary rather than a change in meaning.

JazzAnnNonMouse · 08/04/2014 08:12

I don't think it's anything to do with age.
I've heard younger and older people say it.

I don't like it.

SapphireMoon · 08/04/2014 08:17

I don't like it in the same way that I inwardly cringe at 'is she your little girlfriend' , 'Blah says little sapphire her boyfriend', etc to my 4 year old [started much younger too].

Original poster
Catsize · 08/04/2014 08:25

Thank you for the replies. Some of them are Shock
For those of you questioning her academic credentials, I think you are probably right, and this is one of the reasons I didn't say anything. Rather than being some raging paedophile, I think she just didn't realise/reflect on what she was saying. Plus, being a new mum it was nice to see her interacting at all, and if she was feeling a bit wobbly due to new motherhood, some snooty bosom-hoiking wench making remarks might not have done her too much good.
The odd thing was that the comments were made very much for show to a full and tiny shop. But that made me feel even more sorry for her, as though she was trying to prove she was making an effort.
Meanwhile, I probably didn't engage at all with my 5wk old, other than to tell her she looked like an extra from the All Blacks on her passport photo.
Still think the comments were euch though, and glad to jave had it confirmed that I am not alone on feeling like that when such comments are made.

OP posts:
Original poster
Catsize · 08/04/2014 08:31

sapphire, I totally agree. Found this annoying as an older child too, as it compounded my already confused feelings about my own sexuality and just made me feel worse. Sad
And as for the other posts about 'call me Daddy' etc. Wtf is that all about?! Again, thought it was just me, but so glad it isn't! Confused

OP posts:
Feminine · 08/04/2014 09:30

YANBU.

I heard my Step mum say to my brother (while changing his nappy)

" Oh, your'e going to make a lady very happy some day"

SHOCKING!

uselessidiot · 08/04/2014 09:37

YANBU, that's horrible.

Birdsgottafly · 08/04/2014 10:00

"People who describw young children as "sexy" are immediately put on my "totally thick" list, never to be removed."
"She sounds like a complete thicko."

I live amongst and work with people who use this type language towards their children (and much worse).

The meaning has changed.

However most are uniformed, uneducated as to why this is inappropriate. They are not "thick", there is a fifference.

These people are usually uniformed about Feminism, the Patriarchy, sexualisation etc, as well.

The baby in question will probably grow up using the same type language, we copy those around us and unless we go to study/work/live elsewhere, we usually make the same mistakes and parent in the way we were.

This Mother could be a completely different person in a few years time, I have experienced that, no need for the absolute put downs.

Birdsgottafly · 08/04/2014 10:05

"I think it's low intelligence"

My youngest DD has true low intelligence, she has LD's etc, so do her friends from her SEN school, they/she wouldn't say this, she is well informed.

Likewise I'm sure we can all relate to highly inteligent, but stupid or arsehole people (not that I think this woman is one of those), who use inappropriate language, by accident and deliberately.

It's offensive to declare someone you don't know as being "low intelligence", because they behave in a certain way.

LokiDokey · 08/04/2014 10:23

I sat in the Doctors last week when a young lad came in with a baby in a buggy. He took out the baby and proceeded to shout 'Oi! Fat Head!' at it. I looked up and was a bit shocked to see he had baby on his knee and was playing with it. His term of endearment for the child was 'fat head' and thats how he referred to him the whole 20 minutes I was sat there.

Some people are just odd, but mean no harm I guess.

BackOnlyBriefly · 08/04/2014 10:40

Yes it has a secondary meaning so I would expect to hear it from older people. I guess those who go over the top about it just don't appreciate that language varies. By country, by region, by social class and by time.