To expect my partner of 13 years to arrange something for my birthday?!

[LearnerM0ther]

Does your OH plan anything for you, ever?
I organise a get together / meal out / trip away every single year for him. Have been dropping pretty solid hints like 'all I want is a night away for my birthday this year' for months. Last night it was determined that all hotels where I want to stay are booked (Easter).. There is a calandar on the wall. His mum arranged to have LO overnight ages ago. I now feel like a pain in the ass and expecting too much. Am I being silly to hanker after a romantic gesture in a relationship so old?
I realise it's not a deal breaker but I AM miffed at the continual lack of effort. I normally plan something myself, is it my own fault for not doing so this year? :0(

YANBU.

I hate when people are expected to put up with this kind of laziness/can't be botheredness as though it's something that's written in their DNA. Tell him clearly that you would like him to show as much interest in your birthday as you do in his.

Preparing my speech as we type, Squoosh. There are far worse traits to have and he has many qualities. But it IS laziness. And I'm tired of thinking for 2, no make that 3..

I'm a SAHM, a bit of spontaneity in my life would be a real lift.

Turning up with the odd bunch of flowers / takeaway / tasty cake.. (anything that I don't see coming) would be so nice and prove that I do enter his head sometimes.

Well, LO is rather 'unpredictable' but YKWIM!!

I can live with it as he's great in general (he does appreciate me, he does a lot of housework and all the cooking even though he works full time and I stay at home and he is brilliant with the baby), he just doesn't see birthdays (for adults) as being particularly special.

Blimey, Hogy, no wonder you're not too arsed about the birthdays thing! Mine regards sticking a frozen pizza in the oven as cooking tea. Cannot remember the last time he mopped, dusted, turned the washing machine on.. But he has limited time before LO goes to bed and I do stay home.

I don't want much, it's one day a bastard year.. And he could think of it beforehand and sort summat without stressing about it, stressing me out, and making me feel like a child for wanting some attention. I thought it would be nice for BOTH of us. If you don't use things like your birthday to do things like this, you just don't. It will be the first time in 2-3 years!

It's nice to know that IANBU, there are men out there who can and do use their noodle! Now, to make him see that..

I would stop making the effort for his birthday, tbh. He clearly doesn't place much emphasis on that occasion, so why not save yourself the effort and use that energy on planning regular small treats for yourself...

Scalextric for my fortieth - I shit you not DS2 is currently messing around with it downstairs.

Mind you, I got him a lovely espresso maker for his fortieth, and I have enjoyed several lattes every day ever since (he's not that much of a coffee drinker). And he does do a lovely job with the laundry (although I daren't let him loose with the tumble drier unsupervised).

Right, fucking Flymo it is then (yes, in winter. He'll have to supress his excitement for months)!