...to be annoyed with man tailgating my daughter

[Mitzi50]

We live in a rural area with lots of narrow windy country roads with 60mph speed limit. My daughter has just passed her test and was coming home late at night - she was doing about 40 mph. A car sat on her bumper for about 2 miles making her really nervous, when she came to a village she pulled in to let him pass. He went past and then drove at 25 mph in front of her for a mile or so until she was able to turn off. The incident has shaken her up and given me another thing to worry about when she is driving.

What a twat. Afraid they are about.

Tell her to just drive sensibly and ignore. Also always keep her car locked and not to stop.

It is very rude and intimidating behaviour and I absolutely don't condone it, but on the other hand, if your daughter isn't prepared to make appropriate progress in a 60 zone then maybe she isn't ready to be driving alone at night? He was basically just doing to her what she had done to him.

And I say that as someone who's currently learning.

he sounds like an aggressive prick. Plenty of them on the roads, sadly.

She did the right thing to pull in and let him pass, that usually gets rid of tailgaters.

This guy sounds like a coward who saw a lone female driver and thought he would try and intimidate her - not just a guy in a hurry.

She shouldn't stop driving though but maybe stick to daytime driving for a while until she feels less shaken?

YANBU!! I live in a rural area and quite often at night people tailgate me. I have been driving for 24 years and it still unnerves me. Surely they realise that in country lanes anything could be around the next bend? I often come across horse riders, parked farm vehicles, deer and even a couple of huge pigs once. Your dd is being sensible driving carefully. Let them pass ASAP so she is not involved in an accident.

Crazy A 60mph zone isn't always safe to drive at 60 on. Especially wrt country roads, a lot of which are 60 because they are national limit, not because they've been assessed to drive at 60 safely on. There was a thread with plenty of us explaining why only a couple of weeks ago.

OP, YANBU, but it is something she's going to have to learn how to handle. There are jackasses everywhere unfortunately.

We live very rural as well. I worried myself sick when daughter passed her test last year. We had a few incidents of joyriders along the roads near us and a few were terrorising slower drivers by tailgating them. We bought an in car dash camera which records daughters journeys after our friends daughter was run into a ditch one night. YANBU at all, it's really worrying when they start driving. I'd have been wary if someone had done that to me. Most of the young people in our friends circle now have on on dash cameras. At least then if something happens, it's all recorded.

Lots of country roads are technically a 60 limit but no sensible driver would ever do it!

Unfortunately OP there are knobs everywhere you just have to stick with what you know is right.

Does your daughter have P plates? Might make people more patient if they know she's a new driver.

Not all 60 zones on country lanes are really that safe to drive at 60.

I work in the country and won't do 60 on one of the roads at night because it is just too windy. It has nothing to do with the fact that I am not ready to drive alone at night, I just don't think it is a safe speed to do just because they classed it as a 60. I don't like night country driving at all but my speed is appropriate to the conditions even if some are happy to bolt down there at over 60mph.

My mum lives on a 60 country road and it would be suicidal to actually do 60 there.

There is also a massive difference between her doing 40 because that is what she felt safe with and him doing 25 just to act like a twat.

He was an asshat for tailgating but depending on the speed limit in the village he may have just been driving normally after he overtook not trying to intimidate.

60 mph at night on windy roads is not safe, you adjust your speed to conditions. Personally, I just slow to allow whoever is in such a desperate hurry chance to overtake.

tell her to keep the doors locked and always have a charged phone to hand - keep a spare one in the car if necessary. and that no matter what happens, she stays in the locked car. even if there is a bump, she phones the police and waits.

when they're too close behind, brake little and often. they usually take the hint. she did the right thing letting him pass. she needs to know alternate routes, and have a safe place to go if the route home isn't safe.

Massively twattish I agree. Good advice from thebody...

..but am inclined to agree with CrazyOldCatLady - I'm a district nurse and my heart sinks when stuck behind someone who consistently drives 20mph below the speed limit. I wouldn't tailgate but does make me despair. I understand her fear as I only passed my test 18 months ago but maybe good idea for her to go out and practice more in these areas/avoid areas where she is too fearful to drive anywhere close to the speed limit at night etc. Read somewhere that chances of accidents actually increase when people drive significantly slower than speed limit as more people trying to overtake unsafely etc.

I'm sure her confidence will increase soon and then you can relax too :)

CrazyOldCatLady - doing 60 mph on some of our lanes would be extremely foolish - it is a maximum speed limit, not necessarily the safe speed limit. Two cars are unable to pass, deep ditches on either side, there are blind bends. We have many accidents round here where people have lost control on a bend and ended up in the ditch.

Yanbu. He was a twat.

If she had been doing 40mph on a dual carriage way I could understand why he got his arse in his hands, though his behaviour would still have been unacceptable.

However a lot of country lanes are theoretically 60mph and even in daylight only the maddest locals drive that quickly.

I've take my foot off the accelerator if I'm ever tailgated and have put my fog lights on once or twice (no oncoming traffic) because it looks like your break lights to the driver behind at first glance.

it would be crazy to do 60mph on some country roads at night - regardless of the speed limit.

One of the things that clearly stuck in my head when I did my speed awareness course is that more people die on rural roads than on any other kind

CrazyOldCatLady a speed limit is how fast you are allowed to drive up to. You don't have to drive at that speed, you know . We have winding country lanes here I wouldn't even contemplate driving at 60 on them. Tailgaters are twats, end of! I was once told that putting your windscreen washers on is a good deterrent, as is braking every so often (not sure if that could be a bit foolhardy, though). Otherwise, make sure the car is locked - pull over if you want in a public place, though. Hope your daughter's OK, OP

There are plenty of roads you shouldnt drive at 60 on, probably need a few more lessons crazycatlady. If its a long clear road then yes, get annoyed but on a windy narrow road its bloody stupid to do NSL just because you can

Christ, 60 round here would put you in every hedge and ditch for about 4 miles. Even then on the A roads you'd have trouble! ANd that's in broad daylight! I travel the first 4 miles to work on a road that 20mph is pushing your luck - speed limit is 60mph.

OP, he was a total twonk. Foglights are a goody, when you are confident you know where the button is

Tell you DD that such twonks are all over the place, she will get better, they are as good as they are going to get!

Here's that thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/a2002063-To-think-that-40-in-a-60-is-too-slow?

YANBU, he was a twat.

You need to reinforce the fact to her that there are twats on the road, it is a fact, and she should just carry on driving in her own careful manner, ignoring his behaviour, and any other dickhead who intimidates her in that way.

I live in a rural area and some roads are far too windy to do 60mph on. I regularly get overtaken by people who just can't wait. Usually on bends when they have no idea what is coming the other way.

I passed my test 8 months ago and I'm not in the least bit nervous but I'm not willing to do 60, on a road that isn't safe to do that speed on, just because the impatient idiot behind me thinks I should!

My driving instructor would always say '60 is a limit, not a target.'

she is a far better driver than he is. Regrettably, despite almost everyone on the road having passed a test, there is a LOT of incompetence about.

speed limits are maxima, not targets. Don't care if you are a district nurse, sometimes it rains, sometimes it is icy, sometimes there is another good reason. BTW repeated brake-accelerate-brake wastes lots of fuel.

every dreadful driver dumb fuck that overtakes me on my route home (twisting road, some narrow bits, 60 limit but often not safe at that) ALWAYS, but ALWAYS end up just ahead of me when we get to the 30 limit point. They have risked their life and that of others to gain a second.

tell your daughter to slow gradually when tailgated and let them go. These people WILL have an accident eventually, hopefully with a tree and not another car.

Perhaps putting a P plate on the car to indicate she is a new driver would help?

OP the other driver was clearly a twat of the highest order, I hope your DD understands that it was the other driver's fault not hers. None the less, I understand what an un-nerving experience this was for her. She did the right thing pulling over. Please encourage her not to be un-nerved by this. Sadly she will always come across twatty drivers whether she is a new driver herself or have been on the road twenty years. The thing to do is not be intimidated by them, focus on her own driving and safety and try to remain calm, which it sounds like she did do, so well done to her.
I know it is hard on our own nerves when our children start driving OP, I'm in the same situation with my own daughter . Our job is of course to keep our nerves to ourselves, so that it does not affect their confidence. I'd like to offer you a glass of to help with that!
By the way, your daughter sounds like a safe and careful driver, which is a good thing.

It is very rude and intimidating behaviour and I absolutely don't condone it, but on the other hand, if your daughter isn't prepared to make appropriate progress in a 60 zone then maybe she isn't ready to be driving alone at night? He was basically just doing to her what she had done to him.

you're aware that 60mph is a limit, not an order? No one is under any obligation to drive at the limit just because they can. And no, if he chose to drop his speed down to 25mph he's not doing what she did to him as she was driving at 40mph. It's not the same thing. People need to be able to drive safely and at a speed that makes them comfortable. Unfortunately, if you end up behind someone going slower than you'd like you live with it until such a time as you're able to safely pass them. Being intimidating and playing silly games is a sure fire way of causing accidents and of making people who are still learning go beyond their limits which also causes accidents. Jesus wept.