to think this is really inappropriate behaviour and can't be excused by age?

[EveryOtherNameIsTakenGrr]

I've name-changed and will try and keep details brief so as not to out myself. At DP's work they're a friendly bunch, all seem to get on pretty well, and I commented on this to him today. He pulled a face and said "Well there's friendly and then there's too friendly". I pressed him on it - more because I was wondering if there was a girl flirting with him or something - and it turns out that there's an older man working there, in his 60s and been there a few years, who makes suggestive comments about all the young women working there. That's bad enough, but he apparently picks on the shyer men who work there - the ones who are over 18 but a bit quieter, just get on with the work etc - and now he's picking on my DP, squeezing his bum constantly, and apparently he grabbed his crotch yesterday while DP was just trying to get on with his job. DP seems really uncomfortable with this.

I told him he needs to sort it out, but apparently the guy laughs at anyone who remarks on it and indeed when I've met him briefly he doesn't seem very approachable. So I told him to report it to his bosses, and he said he had a quiet word with one of them yesterday who told him that this guy is old and set in his ways and he's always been like that, so all they can do is ignore it.

Am I being unreasonable to think that this is a) completely inappropriate behaviour from the worker, and that b) it doesn't matter how ol the guy is or how long he's been working there, the behaviour could be considered harrassment if it carries on and the workplace have a duty to act on it?

I'm worried about posting this as I fear I'm giving too much detail, but I'm really confused, worried for my DP because he's quiet and doesn't like to cause a fuss or draw attention but he seems really unnerved and uncomfortable with this. But his boss's reaction makes me wonder if maybe IABU, maybe it is just the way this guy is?

Jeez. That's totally unacceptable behaviour OP. If your DH works for a large organisation he probably has some kind of handbook which details stuff like grievance procedures and who to contact in HR etc. The manager deserves a grievance taken out against him to be honest for letting this carry on. How would your DH feel if this was happening to you at work? I bet he would want something done about it. The guy is taking the piss and knows he can get away with it.

I think, by law, you cannot sack someone after they have made a complaint about sexual harassment or sexual assault. your DPs company has a legal responsibility under employment law to protect staff from harassment, and a legal responsibility to react when it is reported. he should check fully what these responsibilities are and take them a copy of the information from the Gov.uk website to remind them of their legal obligations.

Bear in mind though that if you join a union they won't support you on issues which existed prior to your joining them. It would however be worth joining in case he runs into difficulties as a result of complaining.

The company should have a bullying and harassment policy, a whisteblowing policy and a grievance procedure - all of which should be available on a website or in a handbook.

He should document all these incidents and complain officially - as others have said this is assault.

Also you could try ACAS for advice & discussion on how to proceed - www.acas.org.uk

I've been in appropriately touched before. I picked the person up by saying 'I don't like to be touched so please don't in future' and then giving a look as they approached in future. It worked for me. I've learnt from before those times and expect to be treated well, if I'm not I have no qualms about explaining what I do expect. I've been a victim before and that taught me to never accept being one again.

YANBU that is totally disgusting behaviour, both from the perve and management.

I used to work for a bank, one of the staff was sexually harassing lots of woman. We reported him to our manager who told us we were being a bit over sensitive and she'd have a chat with him. A few months later one of the staff, who was a bit backward about coming forward, approached me for help, he was still harassing her, I reported it directly to HR this time on their behalf but they had no previous record of his behaviour. They took it seriously but I was fuming with my manager for burying it, he was picking on vulnerable woman, young woman, quiet woman....but not me because I stood up to it and it came to an end. Managers can be crap, but HR has to deal with it.

Dh has just over seen a sexual harassment case at work, the manager who was involved resigned before the decision was made. Surprisingly few of the woman would give formal evidence though, they felt they were being trouble makers despite management assurances.

A large organization like that with lots of branches will most likely have a HR dept. If the manager won't do anything, then HR are the next port of call - it's their job to help with this sort of thing. See if he has any info on the company grievance procedure in the paperwork he was given when he started the job.

If, after that, nothing is done then take it outside of the company such as to a union or, technically, you could even contact the police because sexual assault is still against the law whether it happens at work or not (and it is worth the company being reminded of that!).

Still, you should go through the company grievance procedure first because otherwise if some third party like a union, tribunal etc got involved then the company would turn around and ask "well, how were we supposed to do anything if he hadn't told us (HR) it was going on?".

Keep a diary of every event away from the workplace, dates, times and witnesses as well as exactly what happened where.
Ideally he needs to join a union affiliated to his work however any union is better than none.
Google his company name and head office address, this should give contact details. You/he can ask for relevant contact details- hr, legal etc. I am pretty certain that they would rather deal with this within their environment rather than at employment tribunal.
Your dh will need to evidence any formal grievance that he starts as this will be taken very seriously. Be ready for management to deny all knowledge that they have been told anything.

That's sexual assault/harassment. Whether he escalates it within the company would depend on the company. I have to say where I work it would not be dealt with and there would be no point speaking to HR. Not all of us work in companies where policy, laws and procedured are taken notice of. If your DH works somewhere like my place then to start with I think your DH needs to have a very clear word with the man as Lottie suggests. Your poor DH.

Just to add. Its interesting he targets the quieter types. This is clearly a form of bullying and control then. I am therefore pretty sure an
assertive and firm word from your DH would send him on his way. Although that won't stop the man moving on to the next victim I am afraid which really needs to be tackled.

I agree that union protection would be the best choice. If that's not possible and mgmt will not act, I'd confront the old perv privately & tell him that if he touched me again, he'll be pulling back a stub!

It's a damn shame that this kind of thing is allowed to happen. Unfortunately most coworkers are too afraid for their jobs to back up the person brave enough to make a stink about it. That leaves the accuser in a 'yes you did, no i didn't' scenario.