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AIBU?

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Original poster

to be very angry ...

36 replies

lemonstartree · 04/04/2014 11:00

Would this upset you and what would you do?

I employed a 'housekeeper' about 6 weeks ago. She does 18 hours a week from 12 to 6 three days a week. - to clean, iron, etc To take care of the dog and be there for the kids when they get back from school , on the days that I am at work

so - I have some issues with her work, and she is very needy - lots of calls and text's to me at work about things that could either wait or I don't really need to know about, BUT nothing awful

However, yesterday evening DS2 (11) says to me "X thinks you all really mean to DS1 (15) and don't treat him right" ; DS3 (9) chimes in " She thinks DH doesn't treat the dog properly and is cruel to her putting her in the crate"

NOW .... DS1. Yes at times the atmosphere is awful - but she obviously has NO idea what is going on. DS1 is stealing, lying and is in trouble for shoplifting, and in BIG trouble at school this week. I did tell her DS1 had some issues (so she could keep an eye on her handbag) but not about all the other things (and there is more, much more that I haven't put on here - involvement with drugs etc) . My issue is not that she thinks I am mean to DS1, but that she tells my eleven year old son that.....

and the dog ? That dog is pampered and adored. We do use a crate. And we do put her in there when she bites. Its part of a strategy we have been taught at puppy training and is not cruel. Again, if she thinks DH is cruel, discuss it with US not with a 9 year old.

I am steaming. Am I being unreasonable, and WWYD

OP posts:
Fakebook · 04/04/2014 13:07

Drop kick her and then give her the sack.

Original poster
lemonstartree · 04/04/2014 13:10

comeatmefam We do have bigger problems than the housekeeper, thank you for that observation.

Nevertheless, she is also a problem, (and one I have more control over) and I am reassured that most of you would also dismiss her based on what I have said. I have checked with DS2 and DS3 and they are very clear about what she has said. As someone wisely pointed out the working relationship has broken down and I don't trust her. Its Easter for two weeks so we will manage . I will have to manage as i cant have her there any more

OP posts:
Comeatmefam · 04/04/2014 13:14

Ok - yes of course get rid of her and don't feel bad. She's behaving appallingly Why have someone in your house you don't trust and who is making tricky situations even worse.

Pumpkinpositive · 04/04/2014 13:19

Voice in the wilderness here, is it possible DS2 was stirring?

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 04/04/2014 13:23

It does sound like you are having a very difficult time at the moment, and having the housekeeper should be taking some of the stress and worry off your shoulders, rather than adding to it - even if only because it meant you didn't have to worry about some of the routine stuff. It sounds like she's making things more stressful, not less, and I don't think you need that at the moment, so I absolutely agree with the majority, that you should sack her.

I hope that things get better with your ds1 - we went through a bit of it with ours - ds1 had a go at shoplifting, but got caught the first time, and we, the shopkeeper and the school put the fear of god into him. We had a much bigger problem with ds3 stealing from my purse, from dh and (probably) from his brothers, but that did stop as he matured. He also used to have real problems with his temper, and kicking off massively at home, especially with me, but again, that has improved as he has grown up - he's nearly 17 now.

TheHouseCleaner · 04/04/2014 13:24

As my name suggests, I'm a housekeeper and cleaner.

The texts to confirm procedure are understandable - she's only been with you for a few weeks and is still finding her feet, learning whether, for example, you prefer to use the tumble drier or put washing outside. These should decrease to virtually nil as your housekeeper becomes au fait with your own preferences.

But the comments to your children, wow! No way is she an acceptable employee. That's disgraceful! Yes, yes, she has to go. You can't live like that!

I charge at the upper rate for my services. I was encouraged to do that by my father, who pointed out that not only do I work hard and thoroughly but that the family are paying for my trustworthiness. Discretion and manners are imperative when you're going into someone else's house. If you haven't got trust the relationship between you and the client is unworkable.

Another thing to consider when replacing the current woman is insurance - I'm insured against accidental damage to my clients possessions. If your housekeeper hasn't taken out client protection insurance (brought to mind by the picture-breaking incident), then I'd question her professionalism from the start.

quietbatperson · 04/04/2014 13:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
lemonstartree · 04/04/2014 14:49

I hadn't thought of that batperson - thank you.

TheHouseCleaner thank you for your input. Now that I have calmed down a bit, I think she is trying to be more a 'part of the family' than I am comfortable with, I am sure she will say she was only trying to help or something. I am really not looking for another parent for my children or a friend/auntie type figure. I want a professional relationship - I pay appropriately, on time. I am home when I say I will be. I treat her in a professional way and am polite but don't want to get over involved in her life. I expect the same in return which does not involve comments like that to me children.

pumpkin I did consider that. But I know that what I have heard is a true reflection of her feelings.

OP posts:
Original poster
lemonstartree · 04/04/2014 20:42

I am now 100% positive it was the right thing to get rid of her. Some scary things and some things that have left me feeling that my privacy has been horribly invaded. ugh.

I feel like I will never trust anyone again in this context Sad

OP posts:
MistressDeeCee · 04/04/2014 21:51

It's a no-brainer. Get rid. She sounds weirdly over-involved

Branleuse · 04/04/2014 21:58

oh no, whats happened now?

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