I've just recieved a wedding invite with a poem

[Serpens]

stating no obligation for a gift but a contribution to the honeymoon would be lovely and I couldn't be happier :)

No hassle in buying a gift. I'll just put some money in with the card.

They're a lovely couple and I hope they have a wonderful honeymoon and marriage and I'm looking forward to the wedding.
[wonders how much weight I can lose before the day]

We are going to a wedding next Saturday. The invite said they didn't expect gifts but for those who chose to there would be a john Lewis list. When we looked the first thing on the list was honeymoon vouchers, followed by the usual tat household stuff. We far preferred to buy honeymoon vouchers as we thought that was what they really wanted. But no specific request or poem in the invite, so no pressure. John Lewis may have hit on something there.

i should add that we could comfortably afford to give essentially cash. I completely see that some might struggle financially, but in that case the john Lewis wish list would be just as big a problem! When we got married we asked for money towards carpets(no poem), but had a gift list for those that preferred - from Argos! Never understood why you have to have overpriced shite from john Lewis or debenhams...

I always thought part of the attraction of the John Lewis list was supposed to be that you could effectively take the cash instead because of their no quiblle return policy (this may be an urban myth - we didn't have list, nor ask for money).

When we got married we didn't say anything about gifts. But we only had a small wedding and only invited 10 friends each, they all just said they would pop some cash in a card, we said thanks so much but only if you can afford it, please don't feel obliged to (some had to travel and stay in a b&b for the night, we made it very clear to them that of course, we didn't expect any gift at all from them as they were already shelling out to be there).

I can see how a larger wedding with more than just close friends can be more awkward though.

yeuk a poem and a request for cash.

how bloody tacky and rude!

I've only been to asian weddings it's either money or gold always. So if one of you invited me you'd get money or gold too ;) money is usually £50-100 minimum

Before 2000s people used to come with boxed gifts usually tacky stuff . Cheap toasters, kettles, crockery sets etc. The closer guests would give gold or money. the boxed argos gifts came to good use when I was setting up home then my siblings we had lots of free small appliances and plates. Beggars can be choosers I was skint when I moved into my first home.

Nowadays I've noticed on invites it states no boxed gifts cash only. That I think is very cheeky, almost sounds greedy. I guess they don't want that boxed diamond ring then oh well!

Cant*

I got married abroad and had a small party at home for friends. No requests for gifts or money and they certainly weren't expected. We had a couple of lovely personal gifts though. A lovely embroidered message in a frame and some pebbles with decoration, names and date of wedding on.

It's the totally shit poetry that's the real problem. Why on earth would you do anything in rhyming verse a six year old could have composed?

Why has this become a thing. If you google you'll find lots of 'asking for money poem' threads on wedding forums.

The 'poetry' is abysmal.

For example:
Please find within this page information just for you,
with some rules and regulations that we both insist you do,
the first is you must come to our special day,
the second one is vital if your to be our guest,
and that is eat and drink a lot or do your very best,
the third one is an order so don't bring two left feet,
as when the evening comes around you must dance to the beat,
the fourth rule can be broken we really do not mind,
but if you chose to follow it,
thankyou for being so kind,
we've been together for a few years and have a lovely home,
there are not too many items now we don't already own,
so please don't be offended and please don't think we're brash,
but if your thoughts were on a present,
we would much prefer the cash,
but the choice is really up to you,
and we would like to say,
that we hope you come, enjoy yourself, and have a lovely day!!

The 'rhyming' at the start of this one is dire:

At our wedding we would like your presence,
rather than expensive presents.
Regarding things for our home,
everything we need we already own.
If giving a gift is what you really want to do,
there are options open to you.
Vouchers or money would be great,
or something of your own choosing we would appreciate.
But most of all we request,
that you have a fabulous time as our guest.

And this one is shouted:

WE HAVEN'T GOT A WEDDING LIST
THE REASONS WE'LL EXPLAIN
IT'S TO SAVE YOU ALL THE HASSLE
AS SHOPPING IS A PAIN

WE THOUGHT WE'D ASK YOU ALL
FOR SOMETHING ELSE INSTEAD
A SMALL CONTRIBUTION
FOR US TO TAKE A HOLIDAY IN THE MED

SO IF YOU'D LIKE TO CONTRIBUTE
TOWARDS OUR HONEYMOON
WE OFFER YOU OUR HEART FELT THANKS
WITH LOVE THE BRIDE AND GROOM

Imagine receiving a crap poem in all capitals.

There are also shit poems with the words 'Argos gift list' in them. Who would have thought that would make it into twee verse.

I don't mind giving money at all. In fact, I prefer it.

But money poems are just horrid!

Our worldly possessions are plentiful as such,
On our wedding present list there really isn't much,
A gift of currency is all we ask, To help us on our lifelong task

It's impossible to parody these because the actual poems are actually that bad.

'If you'd like to give us a gift,
We would like the money please!'

I'm clearly evil, but I'm so hoping the bride and groom actually sent out the poem including these lines (complete with errors):

we know reading this some may be offended
we hope your're not as this wasn't intended

To my critic, I know I have Old Fashioned values, but I was brought up to think that asking for money was very bad mannered. Also, it was my DS wedding, so our guests etc thought that we had been informed about the arrangements. This was not the case.

Is it just me or was there a thread recently where someone asked whether they should put this type of poem on their wedding invite?

YANBU OP. YADNBU

So much easier for everyone all round.

Wish everyone would do that

There was a. Thread recently where the OP had sent out a crap asking for money poem in her own wedding invitations and wanted to brag about it. She described the poem as 'beautiful' and seemed to think her friend had written it. It was shit and has been copied and pasted from a wedding forum, obviously.

The thing is that people who send out these awful poems don't get feedback about how embarrassingly shit they are because people are too polite to tell them. Instead they mock the poem at home with their partners.

I don't believe that anyone receives one of these poems and thinks 'oh how lovely' about it.

My dh is dutch, and it is common at a dutch reception for there to be a box. People are never asked for a gift, or wedding list, but lots of people coming to the reception put money in an envelope and put it in the box. the envelopes are unmarked.

It is often the best man who count sup the money and gives the couple the total, so they wouldn't even know if one envelope contained £1 or £100.

There are presents too, people choose which they would prefer.

I think it solves a lot of problems!

I need to send wedding invites soon. Under pressure from mn I'm considering not mentioning gifts at all. But I know most people will be pissed off at that (I would!). I don't need, want or expect gifts, I just want everyone to come and enjoy themselves. But most people want to get a gift. And if they do we would rather have donations towards the honeymoon. We have 2 kids and out house is bursting at the seams with little storage space. And we are hoping to move on the non too distance so the last thing I need/want is more stuff!

Has anyone been to a wedding where there was a 'wishing well'?

We were invited to one, but luckily DH couldn't stand them (his side of the family) and as the envelope was addressed to him only and no names were on the invitation inside, I chose to interpret that as I wasn't invited, so I huffed and refused to RSVP on his behalf.
He didn't bother replying or going, but his mother went and told us all about the wishing well set up in the doorway so you had to walk past it every time you entered the room. I think the idea was similar to steppemums Dutch box, but a lot more 'in your face'

His mother Did Not Approve. She took a gift!

Meganorks. Just don't send out a poem, whatever you do. A sentence covers what you want to say.

It would be great if MN could come up with a range of poems in response to wedding poems - obv equally as naff and cringy - that could be put in classics as a public service.

I don't like wedding lists. It always makes me think the couple are so indulged they will not be happy unless the gift is EXACTLY what they want! As for asking for money/honeymoon vouchers, I feel that's a damned cheek! I was asked to give money towards a honeymoon because 'your couple already has everything'!!!!!!!!!
I declined. And because they were both doctors I donated money to medicin sans frontiere in their names!!! Let them pay for their own damn honeymoon, if they already have everything!

If seeing a wedding list makes you think that you need to get out and talk to people more. Millions of people use wedding lists. Often because they have been given to understand they are traditional and their guests will want them. They say very little at all about the couple getting married.