To call this girls mum?

[swarskicat]

My DD(11) has come home from school very upset as her phone has 'locked' and will need to be wiped.

Her friend (history of controlling behaviours) is not currently doing PE as has a broken arm. She offered to look after my DD's phone. During the lesson DD noticed her friend was playing with her phone. When she went over in the water break, her friend was reading all her text messages and had sent a text to a mutual friend pretending to be DD saying she now could not make going to town after school on Friday (DD friend had invited her to her house and DD said no as previous agreement with other mutual friend).

DD asked how she had got into her phone and friend says 'I looked over your shoulder when you put your password in'. DD then changed her password in a hurry as was being shouted at by PE teacher to get back to the lesson.

Now DD cannot remember the password and has entered 9 attempts - next time she gets it wrong phone will wipe all her data. I have no bloody idea how to make her phone work again.

DD then says that said friend does this to all their friends and insists on knowing her friends passwords so that she can 'check' their messages!! So far DD has been the only one who has not volunteered her password.

So….do i tell friends mum? DD is adamant NO!! but if this was my DD I would definitely want to know about this controlling behaviour so that I could discuss with her….

Is it a contract phone?

If so, your service provider may be able to give advice on how to change password.

Unfortunately, if this girl's mother panders to her ridiculous behaviour then I fail to see what good phoning her would achieve. Let your DD handle it for now and see how it goes.

In my opinion this is why 11 year old shouldn't have phones they can text from.

twilight - are there any phones you can't text from? Even my years old £5 brick I have as a work phone can do texts and internet, and that's really the most basic model in the world.

unless the girl is going to carry round here mums housephone ALL mobiles text, (god i can even text from my house phone)

her*

OP if this behaviour escalates please phone the school and not the mum this happened in school so it really is a school matter i know it is frustrating

I have a phone tht I can't get internet With. Its only a few months old too,but you can text on it.

I hate this age! Girls especially are so hard to deal with.

I hate to say it but I could see my DD2 trying this at least as she likes to control all around her. So far she has not established friendships strong enough to enable her to. She would have given it a damn good go though. She is year 4, just about to go to middle school in September.

Not sure about telling her DM though. I think you have little to gain and a lot to lose. She will not be accepting of it and she would then probably hold a grudge.

Your DD sounds pretty smart and clued up, I think that is your best route. Remind her that her own password is her responsibility and that she needs to ensure that this other girl is a threat who needs passwords hidden from, as well as potential spies.

She probably won't make the same mistake twice!

MammaTJ - thanks, this is what I have done. Reminded DD that having a phone is a big responsibility for her and she needs to look after it.

My DH is trying to do something on computer to sort it out.

Thankfully last day of term tomorrow so she will have to live without phone until we sort it out.

No don't tell her mum. This is kids stuff and is a valuable lesson for your DD on how to choose her friends. I would talk the situation through with DD, guide her towards seeing this friend is perhaps not such a great friend after all.