Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Is 2 too young to send a child to pre school.

56 replies

Aeroflotgirl · 02/04/2014 08:16

I was reading another thread where a poster was sending her dd just over 2 to pre school. She was finding it difficult, I think a lot of posters saud it's too young, she should be with you, well done for taking her out.

My ds 2.3 has speech delay (wevave a SALT appointment and hearing test booked), has started pre school 3 times a week for 2 hr 45 mins each session. He cries at first but the staff has said he has been fine once I left, in collection he is happy and smiling. I feel really dreadful after reading that thread like I am not a good parent. I also have a dd7 with ASD to look after. Ds is a big ball of energy, he is like the Duracell bunny, and is constantly pulling things down or climbing (typucal toddler beaviour I know). I was finding it so hard, plus he was often waking 3 times a night I don't knw what for, but abey sleep for wimps kind of thing.

Since he started pre school he seems more settled, yes I have noticed he is starting to say more words. He is sleeping much better, 1 night waking. I feel better as my batteries are re charged, I can do housework, meet up with a friend or just do a bit of shopping without ds making it hard. Ds hasent got AS and there are no concerns there.

AIBU to send him as he is only 2. I am a SAHM btw so is with me all the time

OP posts:

Booboostoo · 02/04/2014 09:46

Each child and each family are different - is there any need to generalise?

My DD started at 18mo. She was very shy, we have no family in the country (so she had only ever been with me, SAHM, or DP, or one other person who helped us out) and playgroups are not available where we live. We took it very slowly, the first few days she went for 15 minutes only and gradually built up to 2 hours a couple of times a week. She adjusted very quickly and was only upset for the first week or so. Now (nearly 3yo) she goes 3 hours five days a week and loves it.

mrsjay · 02/04/2014 09:48

playgroups seem to be getting rarer and rarer sorry to go off thread just when boo said there was no playgroups I remembered the one near me has closed down

Chunderella · 02/04/2014 09:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GreenLandsOfHome · 02/04/2014 09:49

Both of mine started at a preschool at 2.5. It was twice a week for 2.5 hours.

For me it was to get them used slowly to being away from me in that sort of environment, before starting nursery at age 3.

I can't see any 'need' for nursery/preschool before about 2-2.5 tbh. Children younger than that just don't require 'socialising' and will be just as happy at home. I do think there are benefits to building up slowly in the months before school though.

LucilleBluth · 02/04/2014 09:53

I'm a SHAM of three and I have put all of mine in some kind of Playgroup at around 2, 2.5, only for a couple of mornings. It really helped to socialise them because they had been at home with just me.

Weliveinabeautifulworld · 02/04/2014 09:53

Each parent must do what is right for their child! Every child is unique ergo parents will take different actions accordingly.

littleducks · 02/04/2014 10:00

It depends on the child and the setting. I don't think preschool is a new thing, maybe it depends on the area. The one I used for Dd had been running 10 years when she started.

Dd went to preschool from 2 and is now 7. It was an excellent community pre school run not for profit with a committee and several experienced qualified teachers. She loved it, attended until she was 4 and went to reception.

It was different situation for Ds, we moved areas and I was working so he went to child care nursery. It was a lovely caring seeing with experienced staff but they were 'early years practitioners' not teachers.

Dd learnt more academic stuff than Ds. This is partly personality too.

Nocomet · 02/04/2014 10:06

I think it depends in the child and the preschool.

DD2 was an incredibly sociable child she just loved being with other DCs and other adults (she also BFing to sleep way after she started school, so much for it making DC's clingy).

She did one whole day at nursery from 18 months and absolutely loved it.

She did preschool from 2.9 and was fine, but always kept her nursery day as she liked it more. (This pissed off preschool who felt everyone should do 5 mornings by 4ish)

However, nursery was a nursery. They had rooms for 1-2y
2-3y and preschool DCs, lovely staff, yummy food and lots of indoor and outdoor space.

Preschool is tiny and everyone is stuffed in together.

Even at 2 and 9 months, the youngest they would take children DD2 looked tiny and back then they had to be toilet trained.

They now take a couple of children as young as 2. I really don't think it's a good setting for children that small.

Yes they have had a small extension and they have just room for changing nappies, but it's still basicly one room for 2-rising 5's, which must be overwhelming.

Original poster

Aeroflotgirl · 02/04/2014 10:34

Yes it is goodness I know, but if ds was distressed or upset than of course we would remove him. Staff seem happy with him, more importantly he is happy. It's quite a relaxed setting, they have a big room full of things he loves, messy play, mark making trucks and cars and have a fantastic male nursery nurse. I think they take a relaxed approach with him due to his age. Thanks very much for all your great advice, it's not a lot of time 9 hours in the week is not much. At the moment it's right for us.

OP posts:

NomDeClavier · 02/04/2014 11:01

Different because we're overseas but DS started school (pre-school but focus on sitting down and laying academic foundations) at 2.9. He loves it even if I have reservations about how little running around there is!

It's much better than his (running feral) crèche for him because he needs to focused stimulation and structure.

AMillionNameChangesLater · 02/04/2014 11:06

Ds1 went to pre-school for the first time on his 2nd birthday. He loved it. His speech has come on amazingly, he loves being there, and it was the best thing we could have done for him.

Applespearsorangesandlemons · 02/04/2014 11:24

Its the norm here. Most children do 2-3 mornings at 2 and 5 mornings from 2.5. Mine all really enjoyed it.

sazzlesb · 02/04/2014 14:55

I'm not sure what the difference between a nursery and a pre-school is TBH. My twins started going to nursery one day a week from 6 months on the pre-text of preparing them for when I went back to work but really, it was to preserve my sanity. The nursery we used had different rooms for different ages from birth - 5 years and they had a "report" on eating and bowel habits every day! They went 3 full days a week from one year until they started school and I think it was the best thing for them (and me) and we never had any problems at all. I look back fondly (and selfishly) at how liberating it was to drop them off in their PJs at 8am and catch the train to London knowing that they were in safe hands for the day! IMO Nursery/Pre-school is great for them to socialise and get used to different situations as well as helping them with their confidence and independence. I also agree re their development - early introduction to phonics etc was noticeable by the time they started school. When you do look at nurseries/pre-school, my advice would be to go with your gut - the superficially flashy ones are not always the best. Staff turnover is a good indicator of how happy the environment is.

On another note, is it just me but it does make me laugh when people say their 2 or 3 year old is "at school" - doesn't "school" start at Reception age?

DontCareAboutYourShoes · 02/04/2014 14:58

Some preschools are in a school sazzles.

I think some two year olds are too young and some aren't. My dd is starting preschool after Easter and I'm hoping she settles well and enjoys it. If she doesn't, and seems too young, I'll take her out and try again next school year. Every child is different.

pointythings · 02/04/2014 15:02

It sounds as if it has been of real benefit to you and your DS. You get a break, his sleep and speech have improved - a complete win-win for everyone. It's horses for courses and it's clearly working for you so keep up the good work!

morethanpotatoprints · 02/04/2014 15:08

Personally, I think if they cry and are clingy and it is a case of the child needing to get used to a situation, it is either too young or the wrong situation.
I don't like any form of nursery and pre school and neither did my dc.
They all went straight into school fine and were well beyond their peers.

Original poster

Aeroflotgirl · 02/04/2014 15:09

Thanks pointy it's great for us but understand not all 2 year olds, or 3 year olds for that matter. My friend works in a pre school attached to a school and some 3 year olds have problems settling in.

OP posts:

Original poster

Aeroflotgirl · 02/04/2014 15:10

More that's up to you, but just because you don't agree does not make it wrong. They can cry when they start school, I certainly did for a bit than got used to it

OP posts:

Original poster

Aeroflotgirl · 02/04/2014 15:11

Fir our situation it's fine, as I said if ds was crying or distressed I would take him out

OP posts:

Aventurine · 02/04/2014 15:15

If your child is enjoying it then of course it is fine. The child in the other thread wasn't enjoying it and was hysterical for the entire session on one occasion, so that is why people were saying to take her out.

morethanpotatoprints · 02/04/2014 16:34

Op, I only meant I see it that way, another perspective and wanted to say that they needn't go or parents needn't worry if they don't settle.
I gave the example of my dc going to school with no pre school before hand.

formerbabe · 02/04/2014 16:45

I'm a sahm and have sent my DC to nursery from 2...they love it and I get a little rest to do housework

Cakecrumbsinmybra · 02/04/2014 16:51

Why would you question something that is clearly working so well for you and your family?

KateSpade · 02/04/2014 17:13

sazzles I'm so glad you said that about preserving your sanity! Makes me feel like I'm not the only one!

One thing I love (though slightly embarrassed to admit) it taking DD to nursery and then hanging out in my PJ's for the day once in a while

vj32 · 02/04/2014 18:24

We sent DS to a small pre-school because of his speech delay at 2.1. He loves it. It suits him and the staff have been incredibly supportive with his speech and a few other things that have come up. We looked at moving him when we moved house but local pre-school was nowhere near as good for him, much more for older children. So depends on the child and the pre-school. Another 2 year old who only went once a week took so long to settle and was very distressed at being left for months. In that situation I would have pulled the child out.

Flip

1 2 3

Swipe left for the next trending thread