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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To complain to the sure start?

35 replies

Oddthomas · 01/04/2014 16:35

I have a 6wo newborn and, after posting an upset thread at the weekend, I've realised I'm feeling a bit isolated. With that in mind I've booked myself into a free course at the local sure start centre. It's nothing major, three hours a week for six weeks, and is about building computer skills. I have basic skills but want to learn a bit more. It'll help me when I go back to work but mainly it's to get me out of the house and get me using my brain so that I don't feel like I'm drowning like I do at the minute.

My toddler is allowed to go to the onsite crèche while I'm in the classroom but they won't take the baby until he's had his jabs. He gets his first set the second week of the course.

He is BF and I can't find anyone who can look after him. I asked sure start if, seeing as he is BF, I could bring him into the classroom in his pram and see how it goes. There are only three of us on the course, he will likely fall asleep on the way up to the centre and hopefully stay that way until home time, and as its all computer based learning at your own pace if he did wake up I can just pop him on for a feed and work one handed. Obviously if he screamed it wouldn't settle or was causing any disruption I'd take him straight out. I also explained why I'm doing the course and actually got teary talking about how cut off I'm feeling.

They said no. No reasons given, just no.

AIBU to take it forward to the centre manager as a complaint?

OP posts:
NancyJones · 01/04/2014 18:25

I have always found sure start to be rigid and uncompromising. When my 3rd child was born I was desperate to attend the post natal groups they were running. They were running 3 separate ones and I was not allowed to attend any. One was for 1st time mums only, one was for mums under 25 and the other was for mums whose household income meant they were entitled to some form of tax credits. I didn't fit any criteria so wasn't allowed to go despite being very isolated. I'm still bitter 3yrs on even having moved to the other end of the country!

sparechange · 01/04/2014 18:28

OP, if you are feeling isolated, then a course with 2 other people, where you have no interaction with anyone throughout is probably not the best course to help.
Are there any groups or sessions where you can take both your DCs and talk to other people and build up a bit of a network?

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks · 01/04/2014 18:37

I think YABU, there may be lots of reasons why they said no. They clearly stated until your baby has had the jabs it is not ideal to take her in to the nursery, that is for her safety, so maybe they aren't comfortable with her being in the building till she has had them.
I would delay the start of the course and look in to joining baby groups in your area. Our HV ran baby massage sessions which were fantastic. there was also a baby group where you could join from baby being just a couple of weeks old.

SoonToBeSix · 01/04/2014 18:44

Yanbu six week old babies are not disruptive and like you say if baby cries it will be for all of thirty seconds while they latch on. Whereabouts in the country are you op? I have five week old twins would be happy to meet up for a coffee.

Imnotmadeofeyes · 01/04/2014 18:53

If it's only the first week is there no option for you to just miss it? Especially as it sounds like e-learning and like you're missing modules that won't necessarily affect the next week? If their numbers are similar for the next course you could tag into that group to complete the first set?

Worth asking the tutor how the course is structured.

Alternatively could your dp take some annual leave ( half day if possible)? It's important to you so I don't think it's a huge ask as a one off.

DumSpiroSpero · 01/04/2014 22:09

I think YABU re this particular course, but your SS centre does sound pretty unhelpful generally.

Are there any others nearby that you could check out?

kali110 · 01/04/2014 22:20

I feel for you but i think yabu.
Im doing an it course at the moment so when im better iv got a better chance of a job. The work is hard enough without disruptions from babies crying.it may only be a few minutes but it isn't fair on others.

deakymom · 01/04/2014 23:04

the funny thing is when i went to a sure start for a course my due date was there last date on the course they said no problem if you have him early we can have a cuddle while you sew! (dont think they would have told the insurance people though!) Grin they are adhering to new stricter rules nothing you can do except miss the first one

just wondering what do they do about children who have no jabs? they are still allowed at school so?

Ponkypink · 01/04/2014 23:22

YANBU and should complain, ask them how tf this is meant to be accessible. It's sure start. They are meant to be for families with young children; there are a million other IT courses that people without young children can go to if they are so precious about their concentration that they can't deal with 30s of a newborn (how are they going to deal with people walking past outside chatting/workmen around the building hammering/etc if they can't cope with a baby being in the same room?)

RhondaJean · 01/04/2014 23:26

YANBU - a large part of my work is adult learning and I would have no problem with this.

More active, older babies are an issue but not tiny pram bound children with a mother who knows to deal with any noise that may start up.

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