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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To keep this school cardigan - even though I know it isn't mine?

61 replies

unlucky83 · 01/04/2014 13:27

Looked everywhere online for suitable cardigans for DD2 (not the official ones - she has one and won't wear it Sad).
Eventually 3 weeks ago I found some suitable ones in an Asda store...I bought 2...
As things have been coming out of the tumble I've been naming them with biro on the label...(I bought lots of new bits for both DCs)
Came across one of the new cardigans with no name on - named it thinking a bit odd cos I thought I'd done them both at same time. It is exactly the same as the ones I bought for DD2 - new, same size etc...
DD2 has a habit of leaving them at school - I get a pile home every few days off the back of her chair...but now she is on holiday and they are all here I realise she now 3 of these cardigans Blush - one of them isn't mine!
I know a first world problem ...but ...

Part of me thinks it will be a real hassle and fuss to find who out who it belongs to, apologise for labelling it as DD2s etc, etc . It was only about £5. And it wasn't named.

Part of me feels guilty because it was such a struggle to get them (all usual places were out of stock in her size and colour). And it is stealing really not to return it

And I'm worried I'll have a reputation anyway - as I was sorting out the old cardigans I found one that looked small and worn out - checked the label to find it was named as a classmate's - class they were in 2 yrs ago Shock -don't know how long I'd had it Blush - did return it with an apology...not directly to the mother though (doesn't do school run) ...

I'm thinking keep it - to avoid hassle and embarrassment - AIBU?

OP posts:
Lucylouby · 01/04/2014 13:54

All our uniform is named and we lose a couple of bits each year. That means someone is taking home the wrong jumper and probably cutting our name label out and keeping the jumper as their own. Do you know how frustrating that is. We are not mad of money and I do not appreciate having to buy new uniform so other families can benefit from it. Take it to the office, explain what happened and forget about it.

RedandChecker · 01/04/2014 13:54

YABU.

It's not yours. take it in, explain, they won't mind. They can cut the label out and put the childs name elesewhere.

My Ds's school jumpers are £11 so he only has 3. His went missing last term at P.E, It had his name in, but not in lost property. Some parent has obviously not bothered to hand it back - I'm a bit annoyed! I would always hand in another childs uniform... Hmm

SallyMcgally · 01/04/2014 13:55

You are doing the right thing in returning it. Even if someone is careless and hasn't named it, doesn't mean they don't deserve to get it back. we are fortunate enough not to struggle to replace lost clothes, but it's still money I notice going out, and it's a nuisance having to schlep off to buy kit. It's really not OK to keep it if you know it's not yours, though I'm sure we've all been tempted.

RedandChecker · 01/04/2014 13:55

Hermione - You have not read correctly, OP says she now realises she has ALL cardigans plus this one which is not hers.

Original poster
unlucky83 · 01/04/2014 14:02

I'm not one cardi down as far as I am aware at the moment
I have definitely lost them in the past...
I have 'plenty' cos after DD1 and her propensity to lose everything - and DD2 not bringing them home daily - I'd rather not have to worry about whether she has clean cardi for the next day or not... (and I know I'm lucky that I can afford to do that)...although she only has the one expensive 'proper' school one and I would be annoyed if she lost that..
The same reason I managed not to notice that I had had one named and not ours for a while...Blush
And I know how much is in lost property because periodically I go through it to check for our things ...

OP posts:
MiscellaneousAssortment · 01/04/2014 14:02

I think you're going to get alot of grumpy people posting on this - as you are a prime example of why things get lost then stolen...

You're not responsible for every item of clothing but people will reply as if it's their jumper you've decided to keep, as they can't talk to the person who actually did it!

I'm afraid that you cannot keep it, as that would be stealing, no matter how it came about. I'm glad you've changed your mind as its really not ok. It's a shame that the owner will probably never see it again, but I can't see what you can do about that.

plumnc · 01/04/2014 14:11

You could try removing the biro mark? If it's not a permanent marker you have used, there's a good chance you can get it off. Hairspray, is one trick that sometimes works
Smile Good luck

tiredoutgran · 01/04/2014 14:17

I mark all ours in permanent marker and still must be £100s down over the last 5 years, and that is despite asking teachers to check - I am afraid I don't replace it, I can't afford to and if they leave it lying around then they go without, if that means them being cold in winter because they have left both jumpers/cardis then perhaps they will be more careful! I just hope the children of the parents who happily cut out labels or whatever are nice and warm in class whilst mine shiver!

elliejjtiny · 01/04/2014 14:17

If you wash it a few times with vanish on the label your dd's name will wash off (I've accidently labelled a few school jumpers a few times Blush)

DeWe · 01/04/2014 14:20

Don't cut out the label-hand it back to the school office and apologise. Explain you assumed it was yours and the pen had worn off, and only realised when you saw 3 cardies. Chances are the parent has asked the teacher to keep a look out for it.

And it may be "only 5" to you, but to someone else that could be their family's evening meal. Or a child who now has no cardi to wear-that would have been me at school.

And it's your dd's fault for bringing it home in the first place, not the fault of the other person. I bet if you ask her anyway she'll have a fair idea whose it might be.

HermioneWeasley · 01/04/2014 14:21

If you've got a surplus then yes I would take it in

Pannacotta · 01/04/2014 14:38

Take it back and use meths to remove the name written on the label (works in biro and other pens).

BigRedBall · 01/04/2014 14:43

Ffs. I only had one school cardigan when growing up. If I lost that one cardigan my parents couldn't afford to replace it the whole year and it happened to me in year 7. A whole year without a cardigan/school jumper. Give it back.

Original poster
unlucky83 · 01/04/2014 14:43

A few good ideas for getting the biro off for me to try - I'd be much happier if I could do that...less embarrassing (don't want to wash it too much though - it is nice and new)
Although a tiny bit worried about how all these people know how to get the names off school clothes Shock Wink Grin
(I am joking - please no-one take offence...)

OP posts:
plumnc · 01/04/2014 14:48

Although a tiny bit worried about how all these people know how to get the names off school clothes

Grin Nah, just endless ink stains on dds white blouses! - haven't found a miracle cure for highlighter pen yet though Confused

Pawprint · 01/04/2014 15:35

"only about £5" - not much to you, eh? Lucky.

Are you for real? YABVVVVU - give the jumper back. You are stealing, you silly woman.

redskyatnight · 01/04/2014 16:11

Maybe the original name got washed off ? (as OP had assumed had happened to her DD's name).

LongTimeLurking · 01/04/2014 16:19

Finders keepers surely? Other child should take better care of their stuff.

formerbabe · 01/04/2014 16:22

Ah, not returning stealing children's clothes. Doesn't get much lower does it?!

Steben · 01/04/2014 16:25

Yes you are being bloody unreasonable I am currently missing two bits of uniform and it's very annoying when people don't return stuff!

HolidayCriminal · 01/04/2014 16:28

I have kept the odd one if they had no name on them, no one else can claim it, either.

redskyatnight · 01/04/2014 16:35

... and if OP's DD's uniform is named, might be worth suggesting to her that she checks cardigans before she picks them up.

BarbarianMum · 01/04/2014 16:52

Steben if you don't name it how can anyone give it back?

All the people on this thread who can't afford to lose stuff but can't label it either. (Shrugs)

StarGazeyPond · 01/04/2014 17:47

not the official ones - she has one and won't wear it

Why not?

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 01/04/2014 17:54

I would actually cut the label out before returning it - otherwise it will keep being put back in your DD's bag!

You must return it though.

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