I don't want to stay at annoying in-laws

[Nooshie01]

Hi all, I'm new to mumsnet and posting threads but was desperate for some advice.

I am currently in the process of moving house with a 3 year old and a 9 week old. Our new house needs complete gutting.. It's something out of a horror movie. My DH is adamant that we go stay at his parents house whilst our new house is complete. It is probably more convenient to stay there as it's close to his work and to our new home. My mother in law is very controlling and has no filter, she says what's on her mind (the usual MIL digs) she gets right under my skin. She tries to undermine everything I do with my kids and thinks she knows best. I just can't imagine staying at home all day from 6am- 7pm with her whilst my husband goes to work. I would rather go stay at my mums house which is 20 miles away. Her house is a lot smaller and this means myself and the kids would have to be away from my DH whilst he goes to work.

I don't wan't my family to be apart but I don't want to be miserable everyday for 4-5 weeks, maybe even longer. I've said to my husband thy I want to stay at my mums but it's like going in one ear and out of the other. Am I being unreasonable to not want to stay at my in- laws ? Should I put my foot down? I don't want to create drama within the family.

Thanks for the help

... for DH to come and stay over i meant.

Is there no way you can make other arrangements?

Short term rent? Mobile home?

I don't think staying with anyone or that length of time is going to be easy, but definitely not if you have reservations right from the beginning

It's not putting your foot down. You're an adult and you can stay where you like. There is no way on earth I'd stay with ILs in this situation, particularly not if my DH demanded it. Stay with your mum and enjoy bonding with your new baby.

What do you mean by "complete gutting" (of the new house) OP?. 3-4 weeks dent sound long for what I would consider to be compete gutting; is there no way you can move in??

good call op stay at your mums.

OP you are an adult and your DH cannot tell you where you should live. Does he often disregard your feelings like this?

Just tell him you are not staying at MILS and you have made arrangements to stay with DM. Obviously he can then make his own choices. Please do not allow yourself to be bullied.

You have a 9 week old baby and your wishes should be paramount.

If it's major renovation work it's going to take longer than 4-5 weeks. Even just decorating and a bit of updating will take that long.

You decide what you're doing and tell your DH what the plan is. He can't really object to that as it's you at home all day and, it sounds like he thought he could just tell you 'the plan' even though it affects you far more and badly.

"When my DH is around, I can bare it a bit more because he tells her to back off and not interfere with our children."
So he knows she's an interfering old bat then? But still expects you to suck it up?

Phrases like 'I have no filter' just mean 'I feel comfortable being a complete arse because no-one ever stopped me before.'

You know she will make your life a misery and your milk supply really doesn't need that kind of thing.

Your DH needs to remember who he should be protecting right now (hint: the person who safely delivered his second baby just 2 months ago) and make arrangements to stay with your mum or a short-term apartment.

YANBU!!! She sounds like a nightmare. My MIL is harmless enough, but would still drive me potty if I stayed with her for more than 2 hours
I wouldn't stay with my DM either tho!! I would be in a caravan or something! Obviously I'm intolerant!