to want to drop kick my friend

[Fancydrawers]

For never sorting out her DD's whinging, or stopping her doing whatever it is that she wants - which makes her a fright and such hard work to spend time with. She is indulged for everything and is turning into more of a brat with each day that passes - it's terribly unfair.

Yes I am probably U but her child is a horrid brat and it is ALL HER FAULT

Well it is what I said in fact

No it isn't. You simply complAined about your friend and called her daughter a horrid brat and basically called her mother a crap parent.

You did not say "I understand children can be challenging but I do think they need to learn how to behave."

One smacks of being a judgemental bitch, the other of being exasperated but supportive.

Pardon me for not being perfect...

you are not being judgemental in the slightest....of course her child sounds like a brat and the parent totally not bothered by it for some reason. I cannot cope in situations like that, find it really stressful and annoying. What would the world be like if we all chose to not discilpine our children.....I would have to distance myself from said friend

Totally hear you OP, though the title is a bit OTT

I had a similar but much less bad situation with a friend of mine and her DD but it was more around the things she would allow her kid do/have that I wouldn't allow mine, for example, if we in a restaurant, pretty much anything she asked for, she got, which isn't the way I do things. Cue lots of whingeing and complaining from my DD, which just wrecked my head.

The solution was we don't really go to public places any more but spend time in each other's houses, which is more contained. I'm still really friendly with the mum and do actually like the child, it was more about slightly different parenting really, and if anyone says that doesn't make a difference, well it does tbh.

The behaviour you're talking about is much worse and there is no way I'd want to be even near it, I would find that irritating and stressful. It's not your job to discipline her kid and if she won't, she'll find it'll wear thin with people.

I suggest you just 'manage the environment', if you like the friend and think the friendship is worth keeping.

Hey OP, I probably came off a bit harsh originally but I wondered what warranted your reaction.
I have a sister with 2 boys who are completely out of control. One (2y/o) continually bit my little girl over a visit. (She is almost 3) which can be normal behaviour for a little toddler testing the boundaries but instead of being told off...he was cuddled. Cuddled?!?! My poor little girl had at least 5 dark circle bruises all over her. The first time my sister was all "hehe oh sorry about that! Kids will be kids"... The second time "oh dear, maybe warn your DD he bites"... Third time I was !!!! He would sneak up from no where while she was innocently playing and just sink his fangs into her. I caught him doing it most of the time because they were too oblivious to notice. Not to mention I hinted at helping to put them to bed once it got to 12pm and they were running around screaming while we were trying to enjoy some adult time...my sis said "no, that's fine, I'm not bothered".... The poor little things aged 2 & 5 dropped on the hard wood floor, dirty feet and faces at about 1am!!!!!!!! I am so glad I only have to see them occasionally because I don't think i could really hold back saying something if it was more often.

It's just a nightmare. I think a lot of my friend but it's so stressful. Perhaps my title is OTT but warranted

You haven't answered, how old is the child?

I ended a friendship over something like this. Friend was very very PFB and I cut her as much slack as I could but her little boy was just hell to be around and really nasty to my DD who was 3 years younger. I distanced myself as did many others, she could never see any wrong in him and used to blame all his behaviour on whichever child he was with.

He's actually grown up to be a lovely young man, so there you go, it doesn't always follow that little brats will be big ones!

Are you one of those bloody people who expect their children to sit like angels in costa while you have your coffee meet? No, a babycinno and some colouring pencils doesn't make up for having to sit there while their parents gabble on about the latest lot of shite - take the children to more age appropraite places where they can let off steam without interfering with your "coffee meet"

I also get you OP

I have a friend who constantly lets her DS's have coca cola and huge bags of sweets when we are out, they are both under 6. I automatically will say no to my child as there is no way, in my view a child of under 6 should be consuming that much crap, at soft play, in the park, in a café, whatever.

Then they are hyper and whine and whine.

I can't help my default telling off, it just comes out. My child is only allowed wáter, it makes me look mean and prissy, which I am not. I always come home with a massive headache and worrying I have been a bitch.

I hate it, but love my friend. My child always goes quiet when hers start screaming and demanding, it is upsetting for everyone.

OldBag sums it up perfectly...
It's awful having to explain to your child why you won't let them do the thing the other DC is doing - especially in front of the other parent.

The other day we went for lunch, we had icecream for pudding. After lunch we went to the park, one child asked for icecream, I couldn't help myself, I said' no, you just had icecream', it is what I would say to my own child if asked. My friend bought him icecream 'as he was probably hungry as he ate nothing at lunchtime except the icecream'

Child ate half then threw the rest away. It is like this eery time we meet.

I sympathise OP. I have someone very close to me who I like this with her dc. It has gotten to the point were we did actually fall out over it. (Not recomended ) but this argument did clear the air and she is now a little stricter. The kid is fab in general / but with her she is simply obnoxious / demanding/ spoiled/ rude/ spiteful - the list goes on. Several people have mentioned this to her and she often just defends her parenting / makes excuses and defends her daughters behaviour as normal.

It is very tiresome having to be around a spoiled and manipulative brat - so I have limited how much i see them, which is a shame as I love them dearly, however neither will ever seem to change for the forsee able future so I have had to accept that and pull away.

I feel sad for the dc as she is lovely and intelligent - but extremely indulged, greedy and obnoxious when her mother is about as her mother 9/10 lets her off with it. Its infuriating to watch at times, i almost get angry with the kid for being so nasty to her mother , but I remember she is just a kid and a product of her upbringing. Really the parents are always to blame for spoilt brats.

We have had a similar problem in the past and I resolved it by meeting my friend in the evenings for 6 months or so.

A thick ear a few times a day generally works wonders

LOL at all the 'judgey' comments! She hasn't said all children are x or y, she said that this particular child is spoilt and whiney. She has met this child, we haven't. We also surely know that spoilt children exist. Why therefore all the immediate rushing to judgement about being a dreadful friend etc? Does it really stretch the bounds of credibility so far that she might be at least a bit right?

I sympathise ... But "drop kick"?? Seriously? You actually think like this?

A thick ear a few times a day would work fuckoffbeaker but only because your child would be removed by social services because they had a physically abusive parent.