To be annoyed at the school re lunch?

[youaremychocolatecake]

My LB is 4 and in reception. I have always made a point of never making food an issue. I don't force him to eat if he doesn't want to. I want him to learn to listen to his body. We all eat the same meal every evening and he eats a wide and varied range of foods. Fish, olives, etc. If he doesn't do well with dinner he isn't allowed crappy snack foods but he is allowed access to the fruit bowl at all times. He isn't a fussy eater at all but there are things he doesn't like including pasta (weirdly) and salad vegetables. I ask that he at least tries new things and I'm happy if he tries. He is not much of a lunch eater. He generally fills right up at breakfast (2 bowls of cereal or a sausage sandwich or similar) kind of grazes in the day and we have dinner at around 5.

Since he started reception in September I have been spoken to on a few occasions about him not eating lunch. They say he isn't really eating much at all and they're worried. I said not to worry as he has a good/big breakfast and I don't force him to eat at home. I offered to send packed lunch incase it's the food that's the issue and apparently it's not really allowed unless I write to the head?! I have tried having a chat with him about eating more at lunch time but I don't want to push it too much.

At the most recent parents evening the lunch issue came up again and it turns out they're eating really early (11ish) which to me explains why he isn't very hungry. He also comes of school ravenous!

Anyway, I always ask him what his best part and worst part of his day was on the way home and today he said lunchtime as if they've not eaten they have to sit at a different table and finish whilst everyone else goes out to play. I can't stop thinking about this now. I'm his parent and I've never forced him to eat, I just don't agree with it! I feel like there's a constant pressure on parents about kids eating too much or too little. He is average height and weight, sleeps well, is alert and active. I'm not worried so they have no reason to be.

Should I go in and have a chat with them or am I overthinking it? I've asked my partner and he thinks I'm making a mountain out of a molehill.

11.00 am is just the end of morning playtime at our local primary school. It is ridiculously early for lunch.

Lunchtime from 12.00 - 1.00 pm, or 12.30 - 1.30 pm would be more reasonable. More kids would be hungrier, and thus more inclined to eat.

Also, why on earth can you not just send in a packed lunch without discussing it with the headteacher first?? I just don't get that. It is none of their business. I am a stubborn old goat when I want to be, and I would just send in the packed lunch if I wanted to without any consultation.

Your child, your decisions. He has no problems, you have told them to back off, and so that is what they should do.

Can you tell that I cannot stand the lunchtime / lunchbox police in any of their forms?? They really get my goat.

You don't like the "lunchbox police" or you want to impose your own rules on your own child's lunch routine- fine- you take Junior home for his dinner.

It's not rocket science.

What you can't expect is the school policy/rules etc to be changed for that one child.

Your child your decision is such a ridiculous statement in this context (well, in most contexts) What if someone wanted Junior to have a KFC bought in at 2pm? Is that OK? Of course not.

I presume packed lunches have to be Okayed with the head first because parents can be a bit dim if, for example, their child doesn't suffer from allergies, but the school has a blanket rule on not taking anything in with peanut traces.

Or would that not fit in with your child your rules either?

Poor DS, it can't be nice having to sit at a different table to eat before getting to play!

Like you say he probably isn't hungry at 11, but maybe he could try a smaller breakfast then he'd be hungrier for his lunch?

My son eats lunch at 10.45 at nursery - Your nursery is shit. If satisfying a child's basic need for food is so low on their priorities it gets shoved to mid morning, you really need to move nurseries.

My son eats lunch at 10.45 at nursery - Your nursery is shit. If satisfying a child's basic need for food is so low on their priorities it gets shoved to mid morning, you really need to move nurseries.

Actually it is a really amazing nursery, the most popular one in our area. The children eat between 10.45 and 11.30, they then sleep after lunch. I live in a country where adults often eat lunch at 11, certainly not as late as 1. Lunch times are not the smae for all cultures, families or individuals, when you are in a group of people be it a school, work place or when meeting friends you need to do what the group does.

We have 210 children at our school and all have parents who "do things" differently and yes we can accommodate all of them.
In the past we have had children who sit on their own so that they eat everything, children who have eaten pretty much nothing all year because their parents have the same attitude as you and yes we have a table where the slow eaters sit with an adult to give them the "family dinner table" experience to encourage them to eat a bit more of the things they like. These are usually the children for whom lunch is their only cooked meal.

Dranksangria, you seem to be addressing me as if I were the OP. I am not.

I do detest the lunchbox police and make no secret of that. I have never had to consult with headteachers regarding giving my children packed lunch or not, and I have three children. It has never been required.

I appreciate there have to be some rules, but beyond complying with the "no nuts" rule and using common sense I will not be dictated to by schools or anyone else.

Yes, "your child, your rules" should apply. Nothing ridiculous about it. 90% of a child's influence comes from home anyway. Hippoinamudhole has indicated in the above post that much can be accommodated with proper thought. Nobody but you mentioned KFC at 2.00 pm. That would be going to extremes.

Nope. I used your comment on the thread as something I disagreed with.

You don't just have to reply to OPs you know. And yes, I used the KFC example as an extreme one of what could potentially happen if each parent had their own rules which they insisted on the school abiding by.