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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

aibu to think it's cheeky when..

46 replies

Laura0608 · 31/03/2014 16:50

People living on benefits say that ' money is no object' when it comes to buying unnecessary things for their child or paying for holidays?

OP posts:

susiedaisy · 31/03/2014 17:30

Yabu to believe it op.

Original poster

Laura0608 · 31/03/2014 17:30

Ipad for a three year old, little trips away. I wouldn't say they are necessities. One girls brag of spending about £250 on Christmas presents was pretty irritating and another who bought her three kids tv's and ds's as Christmas presents was infuriating. I don't mean to offend anyone, I'm certainly not lumping everyone who claims benefits together.

OP posts:

feathermucker · 31/03/2014 17:31

OP, you need to elaborate as to what these 3 people you've heard say this were referring to......I.e. which unnecessary items etc

fideline · 31/03/2014 17:32

'Girl'?

Original poster

Laura0608 · 31/03/2014 17:33

So the general consensus is I am being unreasonable? Ok thanks for your opinions :)

OP posts:

fideline · 31/03/2014 17:34

If you mean parents who are under 18 themselves and struggling to find work or training, perhaps you could find a way to be more supportive?

Original poster

Laura0608 · 31/03/2014 17:34

Young woman, you know what I meant.

OP posts:

feathermucker · 31/03/2014 17:35

cross posted with you.

It depends on the circumstances. If they have saved the money or are paying in instalments, then it's different. If they are claiming more than they're entitled to, then it's different again.

Are their children neglected financially in other ways?

I've yet to meet anyone on benefits who is living a life of luxury.

fideline · 31/03/2014 17:36

I didn't know what you meant.

If you mean adults, YABVU both to poke your nose into their spending and to refer to grown women as girls.

Original poster

Laura0608 · 31/03/2014 17:36

No I'm talking about a 25 year old who has never worked a day in her life and has been given opportunities but never bothered. Anyway, thanks for the opinions! I'll try and stop getting irritated.

OP posts:

fideline · 31/03/2014 17:38

Well at 25, hopefully they have long successful tax-paying careers ahead of them when the economy picks up.

Let's hope she keeps her chin up and doesn't let the scrounger-bashing get to her (them).

WilsonFrickett · 31/03/2014 17:38

While £250 seems a lot of money to spend on Christmas presents to me, it's hardly proof that 'money is no object'. £250 is of course a lot of money if you haven't got it, but let's face it, Prince George will probably have got a lot more spent on him than that, likewise Suri Cruise - you know, the children of people to whom money really is no object.

Ponkypink · 31/03/2014 17:40

I don't think it's cheeky, I think it's a lie to make themselves feel better probably.

I pay taxes and do not feel offended by people saying this btw. You can't speak for everyone who pays tax. Tell you what, your tax can go to pay for Trident and pensioners TV licenses, and mine can go to pay for little treats for children who live in crushing poverty the rest of the time.

Original poster

Laura0608 · 31/03/2014 17:40

Yes but actually saying 'money is no object' is terrible imo. Anyway, thanks.

OP posts:

HowContraryMary · 31/03/2014 17:43

I do know someone who legitimately worked, her DC was diagnosed with ADHD, she stashed the DLA away for six months to pay for a booze fuelled weekend in NY. I know she used the DLA money because she told me. I know what DLA award she got because I wrote helped write her application for her and she told me. I regret helping her very much; I didn't lie, I just had a better vocabulary than she did.

Now I'm sure some of you will be of the school of though that she deserved a holiday.

The children were left with a new BF for the weekend. When I say new, I mean new as in 2 months new.

Although a legal, I found it immoral. and I felt mugged off

These are the extreme cases. I know far more struggling, but in fairness, they are single without any disability award.

MammaTJ · 31/03/2014 17:46

I'm certainly not lumping everyone who claims benefits together

Really? Are you not?

Quite frankly, they are not spending their benefit money on fags and booze, they are being very careful with it and managing to spend it on their kids. They are not being selfish with the money they have coming in, they are being frugal, so their kids can have little treats.

I am a student nurse. I suppose you could say I live on the state, as I get my university funded by the NHS and get a bursary to live on. I also get tax credits. Do you feel the need to tell me how to spend every penny I have coming in too? Or maybe only 'my' part, as my DP works full time?

Cobain · 31/03/2014 17:47

It's hard to tell when looking at other peoples lives, myself and another sibling always made sure that DB dds never went without, they had the latest gadgets, clothes and school trips paid for by us. I do not think DB ever told anyone, why should he? So people looking in probably gossiped on how DB spent so much on benefit alone.

ImNotCrazy · 31/03/2014 17:53

Money is definitely an object when your on benefits. I currently am and DS was in desperate need for new shoes and is having problems with his feet so they were a necessity. In order to afford them I had to be even stricter with our food budget and extras such as washing powder, fabric conditioner etc had to wait and luckily his dad chipped in half.

I think they are probably just trying to make themselves feel better about their situation as it really is depressing. You'll probably find a lot of electrical things e.g. tvs, game consoles are from places like BrightHouse and trips and holidays would be saved up for over a long period of time or payed in installments.

ImNotCrazy · 31/03/2014 17:56

Trust me, it's not the kind of life to feel miffed off or envious about.

RRRJ83 · 31/03/2014 18:23

Surely they mean they will provide for their children regardless. So they get what they want; I'm sure it's not intended as an insult to tax payers.

Didn't Cameron say something similar about the floods in Somerset, despite not actually having an unlimited sum of money...it's insulting to a degree when everyone is struggling, but it's hardly worth referring to as terrible, imo.

nilbyname · 31/03/2014 18:31

I am so fucking sick of people pointing the finger and griping about what benefit claimants spend their cash on.

Our society is so skewed that we quibble over such non issues, demonising the young and poor, including the working poor.

Shame on you.

Perhaps you should take moral high ground and direct your vitriol to the numerous tax avoiding über rich who are rolling about in their millions and billions . But no, lets make sure we try and make everyone know their place and stay down and his forbid desire and purchase nice things.

Disgusting, that's what this is. The political framing you have swallowed hook line and sinker makes me laugh, open your eyes to whats really going on.

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