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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Receiving bottles of wine when you don't drink. Was I rude?

64 replies

RabbitPies · 31/03/2014 15:08

Is it rude to use a bottle of wine that you've been gifted,for cooking?

I don't drink alcohol at all,but I do occasionally cook with it.And was recently.very kindly.given a bottle of wine by guests. I thanked them as it was very kind of them,but when I mentioned to another friend that I was going to use it in a meal. She said she'd be offended if someone did that with a bottle she'd given them.

Is it really so rude?

OP posts:
zumm · 31/03/2014 15:43

Oh ok Rabbit - sorry to doubt your hospitality Cake

Thetallesttower · 31/03/2014 15:44

I would keep it for the next time friends come over. I don't drink but it is always handy to have a bottle or two in for when people that do come over.

Original poster
RabbitPies · 31/03/2014 15:46

It's ok. I wasn't at all offended.

Thank you for the cake though. Cake is always very welcome.

OP posts:
Lweji · 31/03/2014 15:50

They gave me the wine as they left

Shock

Did they forget they had taken it, or was it conditional of how the night went? Grin

Groovee · 31/03/2014 15:52

I'd regift it

CuttedUpPear · 31/03/2014 15:53

Ooh this gets me too.
I once let a bunch of casual acquaintances use my house for a weekend as they were attending an event nearby and I was away.

They were really lovely, there was about seven of them stayed over.
They left me a bottle of red wine, which I don't drink because I find it yeuch tbh. I thought "Oh well, someone will drink this at xmas".

They left me a few FB messages to thank me afterwards...but one girl kept on about the wine, had I enjoyed it, she had chosen it especially, had I liked it? In the end she was appearing quite rude. I just had to ignore her (especially after a friend had told me she was quite rude in real life).

Last week my current boss texted to say there was bottle of wine on the way to me after I'd finished a particularly difficult project....oh dear here we go again...Confused

mrsjay · 31/03/2014 15:53

you could regift it or use it for cooking they wont know anyway so its not really rude to do so saves it going to waste

Pollaidh · 31/03/2014 15:54

I wouldn't mind at all - it's still being used and enjoyed isn't it? Plus it's yours now and it's your right to do what you want. Regift it if it's a nice one - someone will appreciate it.

If people bring not very good bottles of wine to us we are still very grateful, and put it on the cooking wine rack or serve it at the end of parties when everyone's too drunk to notice.

If I knew someone was anti-drink for religious reasons, or a recovering alcoholic or something then it would of course be unreasonable to offer wine.

Oh and you shouldn't feel like you have to open it on the night - no one expects you to, although if it's a red that is good and goes with the food, then it might be nice to enjoy it together. Hosts usually spend time choosing the right wines to go with a meal and you can't just throw in some random plonk even if it's v expensive nice wine.

RiverTam · 31/03/2014 15:56

no, of course not - it's your wine to do with as you choose. If it was bog-standard cook with it, if it's nice keep it for when you're the guest (though not the guest of the same person who gave it to you!).

Original poster
RabbitPies · 31/03/2014 16:01

I think the latter,Lweji. [Grin]They literally handed it to me as they exited.

OP posts:
Original poster
RabbitPies · 31/03/2014 16:08

It's a poultry fuming if hat means anything to anyone.

OP posts:
MaidOfStars · 31/03/2014 16:10

Yes. Don't cook with it. Pass it on to someone who will savour it!

Original poster
RabbitPies · 31/03/2014 16:11

Pouilly-Fumé sorry. It's wine,not an angry chicken.

OP posts:
ReginaldBlinker · 31/03/2014 16:11

YANBU to cook with it... YABU to tell the gift-giver that.

I would be offended if I brought a bottle of wine over to a mates house and they chucked it in a stew. Even if it's cheap, they spent the time getting it... I'd say that you're saving it for the next time you have company, as, since you don't drink yourself (maybe they forgot that, so is a good reminder!), you don't normally have wine in the house, so will be great to have on hand.

Then chuck it in the stew when they're gone.

Original poster
RabbitPies · 31/03/2014 16:13

I didn't tell the person who gave it to me that I was going to cook with it. I wouldn't dream of saying anything other than 'Thankyou! How lovely.'

OP posts:
ReginaldBlinker · 31/03/2014 16:14

Ah, sorry, misread the original post Blush

YANBU then, OP Grin

RiverTam · 31/03/2014 16:18

well, that is a nice and not cheap wine (you could have googled that!) so I would pass it on to someone who would appreciate it rather than cook with it.

Thumbwitch · 31/03/2014 16:20

Oh God that made me snigger - poultry fuming - I'm going to remember that now every time I see a bottle of Pouilly Fumé!! GrinGrin

Original poster
RabbitPies · 31/03/2014 16:21

It didn't occur to me to Google it. I thought it'd be ruder to do so. Not that they'd know about it. And wine is wine to me.

I'm making beef strongman tonight. If I don't use this I'll have to go out as I'm currently out of wine.Sad

OP posts:
NewtRipley · 31/03/2014 16:22

Christ on a bike. You used it, got pleasure out of it. You friend is strange

Moreisnnogedag · 31/03/2014 16:24

See now it could be anywhere between a tenner to £55! Which vineyard is it from / any other branding?

I once was given a bottle of wine by a boss for helping out at short notice. He'd pulled it from his everyday wine rack. I googled it and it was about £40! Rather than having it with a bog standard meal we saved it for a special occasion (normally only have wine under £10-15).

Thumbwitch · 31/03/2014 16:24

Beef strongman - should that be stroganoff? is that another DYAT?

fluffyraggies · 31/03/2014 16:25

YANBU IMO OP!

Neither DH nor i like wine at all - and its common knowledge. Yet it's only recently that his family and our friends have finally stopped handing wine over as a small present.

It just sits in our cupboard till i chuck it into a stew or casserole sometime. We would not have told them as much though, of course.

It has finally sunk in that we didnt like it because we: never ordered wine while out, politely refused it when offered, and often said quite clearly ''neither of us like wine'' when the subject came up Grin

only took 6 years

Thumbwitch · 31/03/2014 16:25

DYA C I mean [fool that I am]

fuckwitteryhasform · 31/03/2014 16:25

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