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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that child friendly restaurants should not mean play zone

61 replies

shallowkittie · 31/03/2014 08:44

Post Mothers' day meal and I will never go somewhere again that promotes itself as 'child friendly' even though I have 2 DC's under 5.

When did it become acceptable to let your kids run around as though the restaurant is a play zone. It's not the first time this has happened but it was so busy yesterday and the noise level was unbearable. Can't restaurants be child friendly without turning into giant creche's?

OP posts:
RiverTam · 31/03/2014 11:34

I was in a pub once, in the city at home time, so full of workers getting pissed on a Friday night - ludicrous lentil-weaving couple come in, allow their baby to crawl on the floor, near the gents toilets!!!!!, and then the dad proceeded to entertain his child by playing the flute. I'd had a few by then so I made a few, well-chosen comments to them. They left in a grump, thank fuck.

Restaurants should step in if children are running around as that is very dangerous. We always take a lot of little toys, books, colouring stuff and try to get a seat where we can trap DD (a corner booth is good). She's pretty good. She is not allowed to run around at all - doesn't have to stay totally sat down but cannot get in the way of staff and customers, or annoy them.

Writerwannabe83 · 31/03/2014 11:38

I've asked to be seated elsewhere on numerous occasions if I've been placed on a table that is next to one with rowdy children on. I go out to relax and enjoy a nice meal, not be harassed by other people's children.

Morgause · 31/03/2014 11:42

YANBU.

spikeymikie · 31/03/2014 11:48

Sometimes there is nothing you can do about noise. My son has severe sn and doesn't understand being told to be quiet. He isn't noisy all the time but when he is there is nothing we can do about it. We eat out because it is good for him to go to places and try new food and he enjoys it. He is not allowed to run or wander about though and is sometimes strapped into his sn buggy to prevent this. We usually take him for a wander about outside away from other diners if he gets restless.

mrsjay · 31/03/2014 11:50

I dont mind noise the children are entitled to imo it is the running about that gets on my nerves ,

TopsyTail · 31/03/2014 11:57

It's so common now for people to expect restaurants to accept children, I think a lot of places are reluctant to complain about bad behaviour in case they lose business.

Personally, I try to avoid anywhere which advertises itself as 'child friendly'. I have found in the past that it invites the kind of behaviour mentioned on this thread and that some parents use it as a licence to ignore their offspring.

The problem is that children need to understand what is expected of them and for that to happen they need practice. We eat out a lot, so our 2 have always understood the rules. Even then we have to be on top of their behaviour all the time. Eating out with young children isn't a particularly relaxing experience no matter how well behaved they are. We were in a very nice restaurant yesterday and there were a fair number of children there. I would say our 3yo was the youngest by quite a long way though, with the rest being 6 up. All of them behaved extremely well (including our 2 thank God!).

I don't accept it's always a matter of parents just telling their children to sit down and behave though. Most go through a phase of just not being capable of sitting through a meal and in that case you just have to stop taking them for a while.

LtEveDallas · 31/03/2014 12:02

I took DD and her friend out to an American Diner at the weekend. Both girls are 9.

DD's friend got up to go to the loo 3 times during the meal (45 mins maybe). She didn't want the loo, just wanted to be away from the table. DD went with her the first 2 times, then wouldn't go again. Girl sulked, and then complained when I wouldn't let her go for a 4th time.

Friend wanted to go up and dance near the juke box. I told her she couldn't as there wasn't room. Friend said "My mum would let me"

Friend wanted to sit by the bar. I told her she couldn't. Friend said "My mum would let me"

Friend wanted some balloons off the wall to play with. I said no, we'll get balloons when we leave. Friend said "My mum would let me"

Friend said she didn't want pudding and for DD to "hurry up so we can leave". DD said no, she wanted pudding (thank God, I'd arranged cake). Friend told DD she was boring and told me that I was grumpy.

I think Friend was probably one of those feral-running-around-the-Toby-children when she was 3 Grin

Original poster
shallowkittie · 31/03/2014 12:08
Grin ltEveDallas
OP posts:
RiverTam · 31/03/2014 12:14

noise I'm not fussed about - if it's a child-friendly place of course it will be noisy. It's running around being a danger to waiting staff, and pestering other customers that shouldn't happen.

We can't afford to eat out much so DD probably isn't as good as those who eat out a lot, but I hope she's not too bad. I wouldn't let her do any of the these LtEve is talking about!

I also wouldn't be in a pub late with DD - I don't think that's fair on the evening drinkers who really don't need a 4 year old about the place! Try to be done and dusted by 6.30/7.

RiverTam · 31/03/2014 12:15

the these? the things

KatnipEvergreen · 31/03/2014 12:17

I've never been to a place where kids were running round unsupervised.

KatnipEvergreen · 31/03/2014 12:20

I think pubs are more civilised when families are there together of an evening, eating together, much more than adults only standing up drinking establishments.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 31/03/2014 12:21

I've never let my 7 yr old DD run around in restaurants, I'm always shocked at the idiots that do.

Its dangerous, hot food, cutlery, crockery.
Its also extremely rude, inconsiderate and disrespectful.

sherbetpips · 31/03/2014 12:24

I have lost count of the times I have retrieved toddlers playing in the middle of car parks whilst there parents merrily get drunk in the beer garden. Half the time they are not even remotely concerned when you return them. Last week in a rather posh place near us there was a big family dinner, all the parents getting lashed and the kids constantly running through the restaurant to get to the outside and running back in again (either leaving the doors wide open or slamming them until the glass rattled). The parents didnt raise there heads once. Until an old gent stood up and gave them what for. Then all of a sudden they gave a crap about there kids and told him where to stick it. Lovely display.

bakingaddict · 31/03/2014 12:25

I've been in a restaurant and had to ask a group of young adults to keep the atmosphere a bit cleaner due to talking about sex and being crude. The girls were mortified and couldn't have been more apologetic

Similarly if children were running amok I would speak to the parents or call a waiter over. If the waiter or manager refused to intervene then I would make it clear that I would cancel the rest of the meal. No need to suffer in silence. My 2 (6 and 2) have eaten out since babies and people always comment on what a joy it is to go to a restaurant with them. We do sometimes resort to ipads and such while waiting for a meal but they know not to run around shouting, being loud etc because other people are dining too.

sherbetpips · 31/03/2014 12:27

and following on from a previous experience, parents who like to share there childrens cuteness with others - oh look at little susie dancing, oh listen to her singing, isnt she sweet. yes for 2 minutes it was. Please drag her back to your table now as we didn't ask for tableside entertainment or to be her temporary babysitter.

KEGirlOnFire · 31/03/2014 12:29

We always take colouring books and crayons or DD's Innotab (with the Volume down low) when we go out for dinner. She never leaves the table unless she needs the toilet, until we leave. DD is 4 and we've been doing this with her since she was tiny.

Anything else is just laziness on the parents side and drives me up the wall.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 31/03/2014 13:17

and following on from a previous experience, parents who like to share there childrens cuteness with others - oh look at little susie dancing, oh listen to her singing, isnt she sweet. yes for 2 minutes it was. Please drag her back to your table now as we didn't ask for tableside entertainment or to be her temporary babysitter.

Exactly that, I know I love my DD and think shes cute, I dont automatically assume others do aswell.

LucilleBluth · 31/03/2014 14:28

I would never let mine run around in a restaurant but I think the other side of this coin is that British people are generally very intolerant of children full stop.

Myself, DH and our 3 DCs aged 12, 10 and 3 went to eat in a nice gastropub place during Feb half term, the place was practically empty, just us, a group of men on a business lunch and a table of pensioners.....I could see the elderly folks faces drop when we arrived, very judgemental.....I chose to ignore it until about an hour later when one one of old gentlemen tapped me on the back and complimented me on how well behaved my children had been......nice, but they had already judged without any provocation and I think that's a national trait.

OnEdgeNow · 31/03/2014 14:41

Experienced the same at a Taybarns on the weekend, little shits running in the food area.

CONTROL YOUR CHILDREN. Whilst we're at it, stop taking them to pubs also

dimdommilpot · 31/03/2014 14:46

YANBU. Last year we went out for a meal for BILs 40th birthday, all the other kids (granted only 4) with the party were up and about and pissing off the other guests. Everybody kept telling me and OH not to be mean and to let DD (18m at the time) join in 'go play' but we refused and instead gave her some attention at the table, helping her colour and actually parenting. People pay good, hard earned money to eat out and don't expect to have other peoples children at their table interfering and messing about.
I always ask children or their parents to move away if they come over to us and we are eating out.

NotNewButNameChanged · 31/03/2014 14:48

I was in London last weekend and saw a great sign in front of a stall on a market. I wanted to buy it. It read:

"Uncontrolled children will be sold to the circus"

I also belong to a club that has the following sign pinned up in the bar:

"If you see a child running around, please notify management who will NAIL THEIR FEET TO THE FLOOR"

dietcokeandwine · 31/03/2014 14:52

I've never actually experienced this tbh. Oh, apart from at Center Parcs where they have those little softplay things next to the cafes and restaurants.

We eat out quite a lot but favour nice gastropubs, or Pizza Express/Strada type restaurants (or Maccy D's when DS2 and I fancy chips Grin) and so far (my eldest is nearly 10) I've never seen the 'running round like loons' thing going on. The occasional toddler having a strop, sure, and perhaps a bit more going-to-the-toilet than is strictly necessary from older ones. But never full-on carnage like people are describing here.

I always assume that the last thing on earth people want to do is hear or interact with my DC in any way shape or form so if anything I am probably too hard on the DC (spent yesterday's Mother's Day meal constantly shushing DS2 for talking a bit too loud, and trying to stop my 14mo waving at an elderly couple across the restaurant) but I would never in a million years allow them to run amok in a restaurant.

allisgood1 · 31/03/2014 14:53

I agree. I had to stop going out to eat with a friend of mine and her dc because she literally let's them do what they want (then mine want to follow). She's down to going to one restaurant because "they don't mind the children". Err....

TopsyTail · 31/03/2014 14:56

I could see the elderly folks faces drop when we arrived

We get this a lot, but I can kind of see their point if they've had bad experiences elsewhere.

A friend of ours opened a restaurant and invited us and the kids for lunch on his opening day. It was a very big deal and the looks on people's faces when we walked in with DS1 who was 4 at the time and I think DS2 was around 11 months. The thing was he'd actually opened the place so he had somewhere where people could come with their kids (his other place is strictly no children under 14) and went to huge lengths to create a good children's menu. Thankfully he came out to welcome us which stopped the cats bum looks. Quite a few people complemented the children on their good behaviour at the end of the meal which was nice.