AIBU to be a bit cross with DH about Mother's Day card?

[PandaPie]

9 yo has just gone to bed sobbing her heart out as she forgot to make me a Mother's Day card. Apparently she got a few bits together to do it with, but then forgot. Now, I know she has for me a little something at the shops today as she and he sister went on a little secret mission when they were out with me earlier. So she didn't totally forget- and I have told her what a thoughtful kind girl she is, and that people can do all kinds of things for Mother's Day- not necessarily a card.

AIBU to think that DH should have checked that the dds had got Mother's Day sorted, and maybe supervised it a bit, given that dd is very disorganised and needs a million reminders to do things like homework and music practise.

I just feel sad that dd was so upset and that she thinks she's let me down, as the card was an important thing for her.

And I feel cross that DH didn't get involved with it - not because I want a big fuss, but because I want the dds to feel that they have marked the occasion in a way that feels right to them, rather than feeling that they have fallen short ( not that I think that at all, but dd is feeling bad still).

I think DH helped her customise a note-let from the cupboard, but this is not ideal at 9.30 pm when she's crying her eyes out.

AIBU? I do so much organising for everyone's birthday, for Father's Day , Xmas...AIBU to expect DH could've supervised this? Or at 9 yo do you just leave them to it?

God almighty! She can make it tomorrow, it's Mothers Day all day, you know . And leave your DH out of it, ffs. She's 9, not 3!

Didn't the getting something at the shops today with her sister jog her memory?

Thanks stars. Good idea, more than :)

Hipho, I totally agree! Some of the posters on here seem to be be judging my dd for overreacting, rather than commenting on my question in the OP. Um..she is 9... She wanted to be organised... She didn't see it through...

Joules, that last post is applying adult logic to a child. Just because she remembered earlier in the day, Why is it so strange that she ultimately forgot?

Why didn't you, yourself tactfully 'remind' her to do it?

9 is still little!

I have a sensitive 9 year old DS. He can sob for Scotland when upset. We're trying to teach him different strategies to cope with his feelings when he gets a bit overwhelmed.

He could readily get upset about do thing like this. Panda, your DD may be a little over sensitive too but she sounds lovely - wanting to show you she loves you and feeling she's mucked it up shows how caring and thoughtful she is.

Panda

Unfortunately I speak with the blessing of hindsight.
I so wish I had allowed my dc to learn through their mistakes from an early age. However, I thought as many do, oh they're only young.
They are never to young to start to learn these things.
I disagree strongly that they should have it all sorted at this age.
I am referring to being organised, not specifically mothers day.

It all sounds a bit drama lama to me - I wouldn't encourage it and I certainly wouldn't blame DH for it.

God there are some Vipers on this thread!

FFS people she is a 9 year old child!!! We are not talking about a teenager here, she is a child!!

The OP has accepted that blaming her husband when he probably thought she had it sorted is an overreaction, but she is concerned that her little girl is so upset not that she isn't getting a card!

OP - as i said earlier, i hope your DD is feeling better about it tomorrow and poke your DH, while he isn't at fault he could have snuck into her room and allowed her to stay up a bit late to finish it or said to her he would keep you distracted in the morning so she could do it then.

Can you imagine a dad posting this about a 9 yo child upset at not being prepared for Father's Day? I am sure there would be plenty of criticism for the mother not being involved!

Has she made one is school,Both DC have ( different schools)

Tbh I don't think you are over reacting, despite the general concensus. I check that my DD has Father's Day and birthdays sorted, my DH does the same for my birthday and Mother's Day.

Why couldn't she just have done it when she remembered at 9:30? I mean, I know it's a bit late at night, but it's Saturday, certainly she could stay up a bit later? No sense in letting her cry about it when she could just get up and do it.

If it was my 10yo I was talking about dh would have reminded her, suggested she did it then, given her the opportunity to do it while he distracted her... and she'd have thought she'd do it later until too late.
Her philosophy seems to be why put off to tomorrow what you can put off to the day later?

Aw my 10 year old picked a Mother's Day card for me in Tesco Express. He put it in the basket and told me to close my eyes at the checkout so I wouldn't see it l I thought it was dead funny. I really am going to have to rain him up a bit better before he starts having girlfriends!! I think Mothers Day is a pain in the arse and ruins what could otherwise have been a great weekend. Sane with Valentines etc. I wish we could just stick to Christmas, Easter and birthdays!

Can your DH wake her up early tomorrow, and have her make it before you get up?

My DH asked me to figure out when in our busy schedule he could manage to get our DDs out to the shops to get me something!

I do think you are hard on your DH, if present is sorted he probably assumed that card is too (i.e. a shop bought one). How was he to read the mind of your DD? If you didn't know she was sobbing earlier, how did you expect that he would know and step in to calm her down.

I may be a little hard, but if she is taking it so hard, maybe it will be little nudge to follow through in future.

I can't see anywhere on this thread where you say what your DH said, when you questioned him about it.

What did he say?