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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL really winds me up..

17 replies

Suzyjane1 · 29/03/2014 21:08

Nothing massively shocking at all. I just find her overbearing. Asked her if I could have her key (to my house) as I had lost mine. She responded "Yes, but if I could have it back please as it's handy to have..if I need to get in.." she doesn't need to get in as rarely looks after our dcs and she has really wound me up. It's like she's stepping on my toes. REGULARLY. This is just one silly example of how things occur. When she comes round she knocks and quickly knocks again and then lets herself in. Has even come upstairs when I've been drying my hair!!! Does anyone else find their mil ott?!
Other examples are her questioning whether kids are safe to.. Climb a tree, sleep on a bunkbed etc etc.. As if her judgment with kids is better than mine and my husbands..

OP posts:
Original poster
Suzyjane1 · 29/03/2014 21:10

I suspect a personality clash is going on too.. Sorry. Had to let off steam!

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 29/03/2014 21:10

Keep the key and brave any wrath/hand wringing/drama tantrums.

It's your house and your DC, don't let her overrule you.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 29/03/2014 21:12

Dont give the key back and just ignore her when shes around, she'll get the message eventually.

morethanpotatoprints · 29/03/2014 21:14

I would never give my mil a key to our house and we get on fine.
She wouldn't ask for one neither.
Keeping one another at arms distance has been so good for our relationship and I love the woman, because I know what to expect from her. Grin

Odaat · 29/03/2014 21:16

Jeesus, I will not even her started on my mil. Overbearing doesnt touch it!

I think, like you, there was a personality clash too. My mil is plain nut though....(so she clashes with everyone)

Original poster
Suzyjane1 · 29/03/2014 21:16

Thanks. Absolutely not giving key back. EVER. Doesn't help that i am feeling hormonal atm! LOL

OP posts:
schnockles · 29/03/2014 21:18

My MIL has a key to our flat. The only time she has ever used it I was in labour and she decorated the flat and filled our fridge and freezer as a surprise. That's how it's supposed to be. She'd never dream of bringing it with her when she was visiting as she'd know I was in...!

Sounds like you need a decent rant and to keep that key Smile

Original poster
Suzyjane1 · 29/03/2014 21:27

Schnockles your mil sounds lovely!

Glad to hear I'm not alone in this. As the mother of 3 ds's, I will be v v aware of cutting those apron strings! Or are they famous last words?! ;)

OP posts:
junkfoodaddict · 29/03/2014 21:30

Keep the key and give her a really old one that nobody knows what it opens. You'll know soon enough if she's letting herself into your house. You can always claim that you got a key cut from DH/DP and accidentally gave her the wrong key back. Grin

FunkyBoldRibena · 29/03/2014 21:30

You don't have to feel hormonal to be concerned at her ridiculous comments and intruding on your life.

Moomey · 29/03/2014 21:40

I definately have a personality clash with mil.... so does DH!

She does nothing wrong, she's just overbaring and talks to much about random crap that I don't give a shit about, like going on about how her hairdresser had a baby. She thought I'd be interested as I'd just had a baby :/

I dread her coming to stay as it's soooo tiring listening to her!

deakymom · 29/03/2014 23:03

im pretty sure everyone is having a personality clash with my mil at the moment she is fussing and mithering about everything because she bought us a holiday (which is great) hubby tried to talk to step dad about the route down which way is best etc we want to start off early go somewhere up the coast first then on to the campsite its quicker if we don't go on the motorway she wants us to go on the motorway because it is safer than the normal roads Hmm they have lots of bends in them Shock she went on and on and on till her husband told her to stop it! (he is usually patient with her) she is ringing to tell us about the holiday site (again) then reminding us we have to take bedding for the baby (again) then fretting about will dp drive fast down a twisty lane (he really wants to say yes but is sticking with no) she wants to check on our house while we are gone (hell no the last time she used £10 of gas on hot water cleaning a clean floor because it looked grey IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE GREY! she washed everything she could find over and over again her words to me where ive washed them twice but you might want to do them again)

im grateful for the holiday but i might be "breaking" our phones after texting we are there safe!

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 30/03/2014 08:53

Deakymom, I can understand why your MIL is frustrating, but it sounds like she has a fairly high level of anxiety. It doesn't sound like anything she's done is malicious or intended to piss you off.

mrsjay · 30/03/2014 10:37

why has she got a key in the first place dont give it back just casually let it go ,

ThePinkOcelot · 30/03/2014 10:44

My a Mil has a key for our house, but only in case we lose one of ours, it's not actually for her to use.

My a mil used to annoy me until I read about other mils on here and now I think she's a saint.

HowContraryMary · 30/03/2014 10:47

I find it odd. We all had keys to each others houses. I wouldn't expect my parents to knock any more than they would expect me to.

Out of curiosity - when you leave home do you give your key back to your parents?

wowfudge · 30/03/2014 10:51

I'd be furious at my own mother (who has keys to our house and we have keys to hers) if she knocked then just let herself in instead of waiting for me to open the door. Some people have no manners or idea. They never think how they would feel if someone did the same to them.

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