To think future generations are entitled to inheritance

[buffythebarbieslayer]

I know this isn't a popular view on here but I just don't understand why people think no one should expect to inherit from their parents.

I think that generation have benefited from rising property prices, cheap oil etc. In turn they have raped the planet and left a younger generation struggling economically and facing environmental disaster.

To hang onto wealth in the view that 'it is mine' and 'why should I leave a penny to my children' is in my view selfish.

I'm not saying parents shouldn't live their life and make sure their needs are met but I feel as a parent myself I want to think of future generations too. If passing on a little wealth helps then that is what I shall do.

Individually - I disagree.

As a society, yes. That is why we have inheritance tax.

There's a difference between expecting something and hoping for something, isn't there. We all hope but some are grabby expect as well.

I don't think anybody should expect anything.

My Grandparents were pretty wealthy (all self made), they worked their buts off all their lives to earn what they did and have always helped their children out when they have needed it. Loaned them money to help build their own businesses etc.

However, some members of my Dad's family expect a big pot of inheritance to the point where some family members even asked whether their own mother should have been in such an expensive nursing home when she was dying. I think their words were "could you not have found somewhere cheaper?".

Some members of our family are probably waiting for my Grandad to pop his clogs so they can get their hands on his money, it makes me sick!
I would be happy if my Grandad now gambled all his money, or blow it all on champagne and women, just so that his greedy children get nothing. Because that is what they deserve.
He has 7 children and the only ones who do anything to look after him are the ones who expect nothing.

Money is the route of all evil.

Glad you're not my kid .I'd soon be off to change my will if their attitude was remotely like yours, I'd leave the lot to the Red Cross instead of just 10 percent.

eco feminist viewpoint

I think you plough your own furrow. My mum had a great retirement for a few years on my dad's work pension but then had massive stroke and is in nursing care. All her money including the value of the house will go to pay for her care. This is fine, really - 24 hour nursing care costs a lot so why should I get arsey about wanting my 'inheritance'? I am an adult and capable of fending for myself. Yes it's unfair that others inherit from wealthy relatives and I won't, but if you get wound up about those sorts of disparities your life will be quite limited.

Well by the time my parents, or even grandparents die I hope not to need my inheritance. The time I really need it is now, however I would far rather have a set of healthy parents/grandparents. Anything I do eventually get will be a bonus.

eco feminist viewpoint

wft? Extremely entitled and rude?

As far as I am concerned my parent had better spend every penny on themselves. They earned it. And I shall earn and spend mine.

The only time I think it becomes an issue is with remarriages, late marriages etc. Then it gets complicated as there are almost bound to be hard feelings unless there is a specific understanding for disposition of any assets after death. Having lived through a most disagreeable set of circumstances I know how much sadness and anger the lack of a will can cause.

Well OP, DH and I have made our way without ^any& type of financial help.

But, it was an easier time - affordable housing at 100% morgages. Grants at university and no fees. Plenty of good jobs.

So I do intend to give every assistance to my DC!

I have a divided view on this and it is best illustrated by my (and my mother's!) thoughts on Mum's jewellery. Most of her jewellery is entirely hers (by which I mean gifts from Dad, from her parents etc) but some is inherited (having been passed down through several generations).

I really do feel that Mum holds the inherited stuff in trust, as did her mother before her etc etc, and that in the future, many years hence I hope, that will be the case with me. Obviously in extremis it would have to go as it won't feed you or keep you warm, but until that situation arises, I don't feel it belongs to mum, more that she has the use of it in her lifetime. She shares this opinion.

The stuff that is entirely hers - flog it, leave it to a mate, be buried in it - nothing to do with me.

Yes I know it may all go on care home fees or carers or what have you, or that their pensions are screwed over and so there is nothing left etc, so nothing is guaranteed. Or I become an utter bitch and mum disinherits me and passes it to a cousin etc...

Others may disagree, but I don't think the above is actually an entitled view. Everything my parents have earnt is nothing to do with me, and while obviously it would be nice in the future to come into some money, it's not something to expect. Things they inherited, I feel should be left to be inherited by future generations of the family.

(Before someone accuses me of stealth or unstealthy boasting, we aren't talking lots here, just a few pieces here and there that come from being a family of hoarders...)

I hope and pray my remaining parent lasts until my son is financially independent in his own right. My son adores his Gran, and the value of their relationship is priceless. I love my Mum and am sooooo grateful for the sacrifice's she's made over the years for my siblings & I. One of my biggest regrets is that my late father never met my son.

An inheritance is nice to receive but it should always be regarded as a totally unexpected windfall, not a flipping entitlement. I wonder sometimes how hurt some elderly folks must feel by the greed of their adult children.

I'm in a minority position. My great grandfather did rather well for himself (Irish immigrant to Boston, arrived with nothing, built up to quite a bit). A legacy has been passed down through the generations. It is not masses and masses of wealth but it is significant. I was raised knowing that one day I would receive a legacy. I was also raised knowing that the legacy was not for spending- it is for investing for the next generation. My family takes a fairly broad stance on "investing" so we are using part of it on private education but the bulk remains invested. It is not really "my" money.

The way I was raised was very much an attitude of needing to stand on my own two feet. The money provides security and I suppose if I were in dire straits I would break into it but I feel a moral obligation to not do so. I'll be raising my DC in the same manner. When the appropriate time comes they will find out about it and yes, they will have an expectation of an inheritance.

My PIL don't understand this position at all! They think the money is for spending and don't understand why we're not going all expensive cars, designer clothes etc. FIL actually said to me at one point, "Don't go leaving yourself short" when we were perfectly well off before anyway! It may well be that my DC don't honour the spirit of their inheritance but I can hope the best.

It's a bit steep to accept an inheritance yourself and then say your kids should make their own way, work for everything etc, I have seen this happen and it's hypocritical. I also think that helping the next generation if you can should be the norm but there will also be exceptions.

i would entirely expect pretty much everything to be inherited by us kids, small bequests aside. i genuinely have no understanding of any other way of doing things apart from a fair split. my family have all done this and we are v open about talking about it. fairness is the big issue, so we are not sure how to sort things for db who cant work and will prob need more support

it has nothing to do with how much money is left, they can spend it all and leave us their books as far as i am concerned, it is just the normal thing in my family to leave your stuff to immediate family in an equitable way.

these threads always make me think i really must get round to writing a will! money in trust for kids.

I won't inherit a thing.

And no, people shouldn't feel they are entitled to an inheritance. Why?

I think people should make their own way in their life. Obviously it's lovely if you do have an inheritance, but you aren't entitled to anything.

We had a bit of a job persuading MIL to spend her money on an nursing home where she would actually be able to be lifted onto the commode rather than just lying in her shit. Because, you know, it was our inheritance.

As for raping the planet, are you really sure, OP, that you are responsible less of that than your parents were when they were your age?

Cory - my MIL was the same, it was so sad, she really didn't have a comfortable last few months, she was so obesessed about leaving 'an inheritance' - and the sad thing was her children had all done well in life and had no urgent need for what was inherited; yes, of course it was nice to receive a lump sum but in all honesty it did not make a huge difference to any of her childrens' lives.

My DPs are still alive (well into their 80s) and I am glad that they are enjoying their life style and big pension .

Inheritance perpetrates inequality. the children from the poorest backgrounds inherit nothing. Thus getting no helping hand at all. Those from better off backgrounds inherit, thus allowing them to increase their wealth even more.

And then so many who are better off like to think we live in a meritocracy. We simply don't.

Taz - I should imagine having a nest egg for emergencies makes a big difference in terms of security. I have friends who ended up homeless, living in B&B's with kids, or sleeping on friends sofas. It would be lovely to know that I have a safety net that means things will never get too bad. Don't underestimate the impact of that.

Apart from relatively recent economic bubble in the 60's to 90's I guess do you know what the working class (ie people who have to work to live) didn't inherit. The relatively poor will stay poor and the relatively rich will stay comfortable.

I do wish I wasn't working class but that's the way it is, I doubt I'll inherit anything and tbh it doesn't bother me.

I won't inherit anything either. I lost my mum young and don't know my father.

But I do plan to leave my kids anything left. I also plan to help them with their own kids.

dont underestimate the bitter in fighting over someone's furniture and jewellery.
my familys oral history is full of 'great great auntie maud turned up during the funeral and carted off the best sideboard' type stories. maybe that is why we are all so obsessed with equality and being open wrt wills. we mostly give everything like jewelry/family silver away before death to avoid this kind of bad feeling. i will follow my familys example on this.

"they raped the planet and left a younger generation struggling economically and facing environmental disaster"... right. I don't know how old you are, but I don't personally tend to think of my parents in that way, just as people who worked really hard to give me a good start in life - perhaps your experiences were different. I don't expect anything further from them, but would like to leave something behind for my own children.

YABU