re giving flower money to someone

[OurMiracle1106]

This is my first mothers day since my mum passed. However earlier a close friend asked if I had any money they could borrow til Monday as they have no food (work hasn't paid them) so I gave them the only money I had which was unfortunately the money I put away for flowers on Sunday.

My mum was always a very firm believer in you need to live with the living not with the dead and always said to bring her flowers whilst she was alive and could see their beauty not once she was gone and knew nothing about it.

I do feel a little guilty. Wibu to put a friends needs over my mums flowers?

You've done a lovely thing. I'm sure your mum would be very happy knowing that you've helped someone who needed the help

I think your mum would be proud of you for helping a friend in need.

Nothing to feel guilty about, really you're honouring your mum by doing something useful and kind with the money I think which it sounds like she would have appreciated.

Nothing to feel guilty about at all. Your Mum would be proud that she'd brought you up to be so kind, and to be sensible with the money.

Can I give you an un-mumsnetty ((((((((((hug))))))))))

I lost my mum 22 years ago and your post brought a tear to my eye. I'm sure your mum would be smiling to know you have helped your friend

Your mothers memory doesn't need flowers!
You've done a nice thing x

My mom died 12 years ago and I never put flowers on her grave. I visit it a couple of times a year to make sure the cemetery is maintaining it properly, but that's it. My mom isn't there, just her body is. Her spirit and memory are with me.

I am sure your mom would be proud to know you helped a friend. No need to feel guilty.

Thank you. Last year I bought her a teddy and card wasnt expensive but she loved them. I miss her

It sounds like you know what your mum would want, what a lovely thing you did, your mum obviously did a good job, bet she is looking down feeling proud! Happy Mother's Day for Sunday. :)

I think that you did the right thing.
I'm sure that your dear mum is always in your thoughts every day and not just on mothers day.

Your mum did a wonderful job raising a kind and generous daughter who will put her hand in her pocket to help out a friend in need. As a mother, I would far rather my DS was doing that than buying me flowers.

But here are some for you anyway

You don't really need anyone to tell you did the right thing because you so obviously did.

Perhaps you could make it a tradition OP? Give some flower money every year to a good cause? I think that's a lasting way to commemorate your Mum...you could still visit her.x

AwfulMaureen, I think that's a lovely idea.

I'm with Maureen. It's something you could do to remember her. So sorry for your loss.

I think you were lovely! Helping your friend in need is like a bouquet in her memory. You did well.

Sending you a massive hug. It's my 4 th mothers day without my mum and I remember just how hard I found that first one. You have done a lovely thing. Xxx

Seems like you know YANBU and you just asked this question to stealth boast about the good deed you did...

You did the right thing. I bet that's what your mum would have told you to do.

If its troubling you, you could print out a card or write a letter for your dm instead telling her the sentiment the flowers were meant to convey. Any (nice) mum would much rather have the words and a kind daughter.

I think you've done exactly what your mum raised you to do. She'd be proud.

LillyAlien I think what you said is unkind.

Unkind but true KoalaFace.

If a relatively recently bereaved woman derives some reassurance/comfort from posters on this thread, would that be such a bad thing? Your posts appear unkind LillyAlien. Aren't you familiar with the concept of giving someone the benefit of the doubt? Maybe you should try it, especially when the alternative is kicking them when they're down.