Thanks DoJo.
Learning to live with chronic pain is like going through the stages of grief. It us a very individual thing and levels of success depend on the quality of your guides.
I had many years where this man is. The time when you are searching for a swears, searching for cures and in utter devastation because pain killers are ment to take away the pain so why oh why are you in so much pain!
My breakthrough came with my children. My dd gave me a reason again when she was born 9 years ago. I had been on long term sick from work for two years after trying to live and work with pain and failing miserably. I had nothing left at that point, I believed that there was no future (had also been told I wouldn't be able to conceive) and then came dd. I had no options then, she needed me to take care if her, I had nowhere to hide.
9 years on and I have 2 lovely children, a husband who understands the somewhat strange nature and limitations of life with chronic pain. I work for myself in a quite physically demanding job (I am a yard groom for horses) but by working for myself I can carefully manage my workload. I also have a good GP and pain team, my meds while very strong and not without side effect relieve enough of the pain to allow me to function. Every movement hurts, my good days would probably floor those unused to living with pain but it's my normal and it's been a hard road but I have learned to live around it. I wonder often what it's like to just get out of bed in the morning without thinking about it, without pain but I can't remember, what I can't remember I can't really miss!
Not everybody can do what I have done. All pain is different, for some people they will never manage what I have, some people will never be able to accept that medicating chronic pain does not mean taking the pain away. That is the hardest one to accept. Then you have to learn to Luce your life a whole different way. Your mantra becomes 'pacing, pacing, pacing' and that us a skill that must be learnt. I had access to a fab pain rehab course run largely by physics and that was one of the cornerstones to turning my life around. Sadly not everyone has access to that, it's not available in most places. I also was able to get private phycological help. I have to admit I was left hanging on that point within the NHS and this was another key part of me pulling a life for nyself together.
I will never do many things that others take for granted again, life the option to work full time (or inflexabke part time hours), wearing what ever I want, being able to go somewhere that requires you to stand for a length of time and many other things but my focus these days is what u can do.
I really hope this man gets the help he needs to take the next steps in living with chronic pain.
Sorry fir the long one and many errors