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Original poster

Mothers Day Meal

24 replies

PoppySeed2014 · 27/03/2014 20:54

I need a few quick responses...

Dh has booked a surprise meal on Sunday evening for me for Mother's Day. Great so far.

Except I've done detective work and it's a very traditional but basic Turkish restaurant. Only vegetarian things on menu are hummus and halloumi. Which will have been cooked with the meat.

How so I get out of it? He's very pleased to have booked somewhere but it's almost the opposite of what I'd like. (And have said I'm MORE than happy not to go out! I'm 100% happy with a homemade card and daffodils from the garden).

If we go he'll be disappointed when I don't order much or eat much and I'll just feel sad/pissed off that he knows me so little.

Help?

OP posts:
tripecity · 27/03/2014 20:58

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hamptoncourt · 27/03/2014 21:02

Just tell the truth, that you appreciate his effort but it really isn't your thing and you would prefer restaurant X Y or Z.

Honesty is definitely the best policy here. Say it with a cuddle and a smile and if he still gets the hump then he is a bit of a twat.

Back2Two · 27/03/2014 21:02

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puntasticusername · 27/03/2014 21:06

If you bottle out of addressing it with him "properly", you could possibly maybe come down with a totally genuine, unexpected, non-specific tummy bug on the day. Just saying.

Then you get to give your husband's kind and thoughtful gesture due recognition, and you can also have a nice meal out at a later date, at a place of your choosing (because you will book it this time, as it's your turn, he booked this one).

Original poster
PoppySeed2014 · 27/03/2014 21:06

back2two I looked up the menu online. Trust me, olives aside it'll be hummus and halloumi. It's famous for its meat and seafood and experience tells me there won't be a vegetarian grill.

I suppose I am sad that he's chosen somewhere I would never choose myself. I'm not a huge fan of Turkish food (with the exception of some amazing vegetarian Turkish places I've been to - but this is very meaty).

OP posts:
Original poster
PoppySeed2014 · 27/03/2014 21:07

puntastic not a bad idea Grin

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Original poster
PoppySeed2014 · 27/03/2014 21:09

Tripe and Hampton - thanks to you as well. Good options. I'm veering towards honesty and saying I'd actually rather stay in and get something easy from M&S or wherever...

OP posts:
SolidGoldBrass · 27/03/2014 21:13

Is the fact that you are a vegetarian a problem for him, or has he just not known you for very long?

I mean, I'd find taking a vegetarian outfor a meal a bit tiresome as they don't half go on - the only thing more attention-seeking is a vegan Wink but if you are living with him and have been with him for a while, he must surely be used to the hours and days of tiresome negotiation before any food can be ordered in a public place...

Original poster
PoppySeed2014 · 27/03/2014 21:13

Also back I think you've misunderstood slightly. A meat /seafood heavy restaurant of any type is just crap for a vegetarian. Eating pita and hummus is not exciting. The other dips are all fishy (taramasalata for example). And if there's nothing else I can eat there then yes, it will be obvious that I am "dissatisfied" but what can I do?!

Bit like me taking my coeliac friend to a bakery (with no coeliac friendly options) and then feeling hurt that she couldn't eat.

OP posts:
Original poster
PoppySeed2014 · 27/03/2014 21:16

solidgold I can eat almost anywhere. I'm not a fussy annoying vegetarian and dh has no issues with my diet.

I love Italian, Indian, Thai, Mexican, British, Chinese, etc. I can eat at almost every restaurant - with the exception of places which are 95% meat/fish.

OP posts:
Original poster
PoppySeed2014 · 27/03/2014 21:17

And we're in London. No shortage of great places to eat.

OP posts:
whois · 27/03/2014 21:20

Honestly it's meant to be the OPs meal out and her DP has booked somewhere where she'll get a bit of cheese cooked in meat juice? That's crap.

My DP is veggie, if it's my birthday or something I pick somewhere that id like to go and don't worry too much about veggie choices as long as there is something he can eat.

If it's a joint event, a normal meal out or his event the. Of course we go somewhere that isn't a steak house. Just common curtsy?

Original poster
PoppySeed2014 · 27/03/2014 21:23

Thanks whois. Actually feeling really crap about it. I think I'll just tell him (tactfully) that it's not my thing.

I don't think he thought very hard about it to be honest. But I know it's his idea of the perfect restaurant (and somewhere I would be very happy to take him as a treat for him). Just hate the idea of pretending to be so thrilled when that's not honest and it'll be crap for me.

OP posts:
puntasticusername · 27/03/2014 21:25

Why has he even booked this place then? Only place he could get a reservation at this short notice?

Otherwise it almost starts to look like a deliberately rubbish choice on his part!

Original poster
PoppySeed2014 · 27/03/2014 21:29

puntastic good question. I think he did try other places which were full. He just hasn't really thought it through.

Honestly, I'd rather not go out. Mother's Day isn't a commercial thing for me (as I said in my op). I'd just like to spend the day with my children and relax.

I think he lack of thought is way more upsetting than it should be. I'm probably overreacting. It's just that I love eating out and there are literally hundreds of great places within a 2 mile radius. And then there's a Turkish meat place Confused

OP posts:
whois · 27/03/2014 21:32

I think he lack of thought is way more upsetting than it should be. I'm probably overreacting. It's just that I love eating out and there are literally hundreds of great places within a 2 mile radius. And then there's a Turkish meat place

No, I get you. Sometimes the lack of thought over quite small things can be the most hurtful.

Back2Two · 27/03/2014 21:33

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puntasticusername · 27/03/2014 21:37

You know when someone buys you a present they want themselves? That Smile

If it were me, I'd probably let the issue of him picking a bad restaurant go - unless it was part of a general pattern of thoughtless, selfish behaviour etc etc - and if you can, just say to him as you've said here: you appreciate the thought but actually you'd rather stay in with the family on Sunday?

If you really can't be that honest with him, you might have bigger problems...?

Or there's always my original suggestion concerning diarrhoea and vomiting Smile

Original poster
PoppySeed2014 · 27/03/2014 21:42

Right, I just spoke to him honestly and he straight away said he thought it might be a bad choice and w're going somewhere else that we both love Grin

Thanks to everyone who's been so lovely and understood my emotional rambling!

OP posts:
RandomMess · 27/03/2014 21:45

REally glad it's sorted Smile Enjoy!

Back2Two · 27/03/2014 21:50

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trikken · 27/03/2014 21:53

Aw nice. Glad it went ok.

puntasticusername · 27/03/2014 21:57

Yay! We like a happy ending. Have a wonderful time!

SolidGoldBrass · 28/03/2014 15:17

Glad you're sorted. I was really just t aking the mickey a bit as it seemed such an odd thing for him to have done. I mean, I might do it if I had to entertain a vegetarian person that I didn't like.

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