for not visiting the in-laws?

[spinnergeologist]

My little boy is now 10 weeks old. My in laws live around 2 1/2 hours away if the traffic is good, before we had to stop for feeding changing etc. I have been putting off going up to see them as I think the drive is going to be bad (we have been stuck in some monumental traffic jams in the past). There is also the factor that it costs us around £80 in fuel these days even doing eco driving. My husbands contract finishes in a month and I am the main earner normally, so we are already counting pennies in case he can't find something else straight away. To add to this our bb does not sleep in the car and has cried for the whole hours journey to my husbands grans.

On the flip side I feel very guilty for not going as my parents have seen him about once a fortnight, however they make the drive to us. Am I selfish to just want my inlaws to come here for a change and not have to do the drive until he is at least sleeping more than 2 hours a night (so we can do a late night drive) or is more comfortable in the car (working on it)?

Just wanted to reiterate that if they can go to France then they can go to you. Don't feel guilty.

Nocomet

We have a very inefficient old car and no money to change it (probably cause its so expensive to run). Travel takes 1 tank of fuel which costs £80 to fill. Maybe fuel is more expensive where we are?

Thanks everyone else, I think its really me being silly and trying to please.

Depends entirely on what you would have done if you had replaced DP's parents with your parents in the OP. It really is that simple.

Jeez I'm surprised any of you manage to leave the house at all! I lived in Cyprus when my pfb arrived and flew back to the UK many times to visit family who couldn't visit us. That's an hour to get to the airport, hours in the airport, 5 hours flying, hours waiting for bags and customs and 3 hours to my home town.
£80 on fuel for a 2.5 hour journey! My car does an 8hr journey on a full tank which is £80 and that's me driving like my arse is on fire! And there's still fuel left to do the school run the following week.

I would let them come to you. Every time you talk just remind them they are welcome to stay. Traveling with a baby can be hell and also a big effort for you on little sleep

We did a two-hour trip when DS was three weeks BUT..

DBIL drove us so we slept in the car both ways, we stopped halfway for a feed/change on the way and once there my DH's grandmother fed us, had cleared a room for me to feed DS in private if I needed and was generally fab.

Even then it was a stretch. YANBU.

You're offering equal opportunities to spend time with your baby, that's all you need to do. Don't feel guilty.

I don't think it matters what the op said about the cost if petrol.
She isn't happy to go.
So she shouldn't.
Stop feeling guilty. There is no need.
Invite them over and get on with life.

I think the issue here is that MiL seem quite capable to travel to France but not to you.

My DH's family lived 180miles from us when DD was born and when she was 4 weeks we drove up to see the whole family as well as friends that lived there. We spent the weekend and all the family got to meet DD, saying that however, FiL did come down to see us when DD was 2 weeks old.