to think everyone feels shy and has social phobia to one extent or another

[NewDawnNewDayNewLifeForMe]

just some are better at hiding it or managing it than others

of course i get for some people it can be horrendous

but i do feel shyness etc is something everyone feels?

You shouldn't assume that all people feel exactly the way you do. Everyone is different with a unique blend of their own particular anxieties and foibles of varying extremes. It's really not a case of everyone feeling the same internally, yet externally exhibiting different behaviour in order to mask their shyness.

I have social phobia. Had a bit of a problem at the weekend, went for lunch with dh (for the second time in 13 years and only the second meal out we have ever had together) it was excruciating. Panicking beforehand, nervous and blushing and shaky throughout, unable to eat much despite being hungry. The whole experience was just painful.

I can get shy and anxious in social situations/ though many would say I am very confident. I have learnt how to hide it well, but it can cripple me from time to time.
I was painfully shy as a child and teenager. I have found ways to over come this. Public speaking has never been my forte, however i ahe addressed a room of around a 100 people more than once. You gotta fake it to make it sometimes!

You sound negative about people who aren't shy, OP - why is the opposite of cripplingly shy 'overly confident'?

The things that make me anxious would astonish you, but, despite being the socially awkward child of shy parents in a culture that preferred child shyness, I am not remotely shy as an adult. I like meeting new people, but I am very much considering them - are they interesting talkers? Do I like them? Might they be people I want to see again? - rather than worrying about the impression I might be making.