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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would I be crazy to drive an extra hour to avoid the motorway?

120 replies

pyjamaramadrama · 25/03/2014 20:25

I want to go somewhere soon, no easy train or coach route. Weekend away with my son.

It's 2 hours on the motorway, 3 on the a roads.

I've got very little motorway experience/confidence and it's the M40 which I've never done.

I'd like to deal with my motorway skills eventually but it won't be in time for this.

Does anyone actually do a roads for long journeys like this? Will I be completely knackered by the time I get there?

OP posts:
pyjamaramadrama · 25/03/2014 22:46

For what it's worth I live in a very busy city and regularly do town driving, huge 5, 6 and 7 way islands that put the fear of god into some people. I'm definitely not scared of turning right or anything, and I'm excellent at parking!

I really appreciate all the encouragement and tips.

I completely understand why people say it's easier, although I have seen some crazy people on the motorway and it wasn't me.

OP posts:
usualsuspectt · 25/03/2014 22:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sparklingbrook · 25/03/2014 22:48

Plus motorway Service Stations are a joke, and not very nice.

HumptyDumptyBumpty · 25/03/2014 22:49

sparkling I don't do multi storeys either after I cried getting stuck in a tight spot and made a stranger park for me. Your DH is v sensible. Also yy to the fear of stupid drivers, not roads. Roads are harmless it's twunts in BMWs cutting you up that make us scaredycats afraid. Except the bit by Tower Bridge in London. That bit of road is imbued with pure evil.

Sparklingbrook · 25/03/2014 22:53

Exactly. If the motorway was empty with not another car on the road nobody would be scared. It's the numpties on wheels that are scary.

Multi storeys are horrible but I do use them. Our one has a spiral of doom before the exit, and the narrowest spaces ever complete with pillars.

Coveredinweetabix · 25/03/2014 22:54

The M40 is a great motorway to start with as its never that busy. This means that you get fewer idiots as there is plenty of room for them to overtake. I'd much prefer to do the M40 than the local A roads as they're often windy, narrow & have constantly changing speed limits. And you're bound to end up with an idiot on your tail who wants to overtake but can't.
I know junc 4 well so, if you PM me (presuming you don't want to announce your exact destination on here) can talk you through which lane to be in. I wouldn't rely on sat nav as it's not the most straight forward junction. The other thing to watcg out for is the steep hill just after junc 6 when lorries etc get very, very slow &, for some reason, one lorry often likes to overtake another on this stretch so both the inside & middle lane can get very slow very quickly. On your way home, this obviously becomes a steep downhill & its easy to pick up a lot of speed without realising. The view at the top of that pass is spectacular.

ViviPru · 25/03/2014 22:55

I was all ready to jump in with a 'FFS just get on the motorway and stop being such a ninny' But then I tried to put myself in your shoes OP and actually, I do sympathise (I can't believe I'm saying that)

I'm a really over confident driver, yet I still get a tingle of angst joining the M6 northbound at junction 15. So I imagine that tingle times a million about every aspect of motorway driving and I appreciate how that must be extremely daunting.

Good on you for resolving to combat this fear - so many would just allow it to continue to impede their lives.

hazbaz · 25/03/2014 22:58

I only learnt to drive nearly 2 years ago and was petrified of motorways....but I live in the SE and family live up the M40 so I tried it and got such a buzz even if I hardly overtook anything! That was with a 3yo and 1yo....

I'd definitely agree that the M40 is not a bad motorway esp at weekends with fewer heavy lorries. I'd say Tomtoms are brilliant at stopping the getting off at the wrong junction worry and take easy to open snacks and audio CDs - our top favs are Paddington & The Lion King.

I would definitely recommend trying it - if it doesn't feel safe you could always have an alternative route mapped out from say 30 mins in so you don't feel it's all or nothing?

Sparklingbrook · 25/03/2014 22:59

I get that going from the M40 onto the M25 Vivi, all the variable speed limit stuff on top of the general busy-ness.

ivykaty44 · 25/03/2014 23:01

you are going to be lucky to do that trip avoiding motor ways in under four hours

I have just had a peep at three alternative routes from roughly where you start and rough finish, it isn't easy to follow any of them. I could get to Oxford but after that wouldn't want to bother tbh

pyjamaramadrama · 25/03/2014 23:03

Is the route planners 2 hours on the motorway realistic? Ivykaty

OP posts:
ViviPru · 25/03/2014 23:05

Sparkling Yes! Variable speed limits put the fear of god into me too, but generally because I'm a bugger for concentrating too much on the traffic and forgetting I'm in a variable zone...

Sparklingbrook · 25/03/2014 23:11

All with the SatNav bonging away like crazy trying to tell you Vivi. except it doesn't know what the speed limit is. Aaaarghh!!

ViviPru · 25/03/2014 23:15

I'm getting the clench just thinking about it. Tell you what OP, sod it. Just don't go!

ConfusedPixie · 25/03/2014 23:17

I once added 4 hours onto my journey to avoid the M25. I was driving from Bath to the end of the A12/A120. So imo, YANBU! Wink

pyjamaramadrama · 25/03/2014 23:20

Bloody hell don't say that now vivipru I've psyched myself all up to go now.

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 25/03/2014 23:21

You will be fine pyjama. Smile Definitely consider the SatNav.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 25/03/2014 23:22

I used to regularly do Solihull to HW via the M40 and I think it was only 1.5 hours (this was 12+ years ago). I turn off at Bicester now, that's about an hour, then another half hour or so to HW.

EBearhug · 25/03/2014 23:31

If you're really not confident about the motorway, then you are better off taking longer and taking roads you feel okay about - also, see what the conditions are like on the day. If it's clear and dry, then consider the motorway. If it's lousing it down and visibility is reduced, then stick to roads you feel more confident on, because it's just an extra factor you'll need to consider.

When I passed my test, I then didn't drive for about 7 years, mostly because I couldn't afford to, though my parents insisted I did when I was at theirs, to keep my hand in. When I finally got a car, I took a couple of refresher lessons, one of which was a motorway lesson - not least because I grew up in the country and took my test in a small town, and simply hadn't had much practice on big roads. Also, having spent most of the previous few years walking or cycling, it took me a little while to find speeds over 30mph not too scary. So if you don't often travel on big roads where you are at the national speed limit, it will seem that much faster than it would if you're used to nipping up and down a dual carriageway. If you can do a dual carriageway, a motorway is fine.

It really was fine - the driving instructor talked me through it, and pointed out all the traffic was going in the same direction, so it's actually easier than driving on A-roads. They are safer roads overall. She made me drive back home on A-roads. Overtaking on an A-road is far more nerve-racking than on a motorway. (I'm not suggesting that you do any overtaking on any sort of road, unless you're confident about it, and the road is clear.) But it did make a big difference, having someone experienced with me and talking me through it that first time.

I later spent some years commuting a route that was partly on the motorway, and I'm now fine with it. If it's a route I don't know, then I will spend some time before the journey checking which junctions I need. Also, there's no shame in going on to the next junction and coming back if you miss the one you need - and anyway, you won't have a choice! (However, there is sometimes a long distance between junctions, so best avoided if you can.) If I've got a long journey, I will also work out where I can take breaks.

But do the journey you're comfortable with. If you've time to practice on shorter journeys, then do that. But don't push yourself to do something you're not ready for.

cheeseismydownfall · 25/03/2014 23:37

I wasn't crazy keen on motorway driving until I found myself on a speeding awareness course Blush and discovered how many more times safer they are than any other kind of road. Yes the speeds are faster, but there are far fewer junctions, no roundabouts etc and most importantly all the cars are travelling in the same direction which means collisions are much less likely. Knowing this I now specifically choose motorway over non-motorway routes.

pyjamaramadrama · 25/03/2014 23:41

Thank ebear, I actually drive on dual carriageways often up to national speed limit and find them fine, there's one route I do regularly which is about 40 minutes at least half of it dual carriageways, but I know the routes I do off by heart.

The more I think about it the more I think I'm ready to face my fear, with satnav, a few practice runs and maybe even an hour lesson, but I'm definitely going to do it.

And having had a closer look at the route I've realised I did some of the M40 a few weeks back dp driving but you're right it was empty there and back and pretty as motorways go, not sure if it would be all the way.

I'd also need to take the M4 between junction 8 and 6.

OP posts:
ViviPru · 26/03/2014 00:05

Go for it OP! Good for you.

HumptyDumptyBumpty · 26/03/2014 00:09

Good for you pyjama! Good luck, you'll be ace.

Nocomet · 26/03/2014 00:35

Good luck you'll be fine.
My DSIS had passed her test for two years at least before she went on a motorway. There are non within about 80 miles of her house. No duel carriage ways either for about 40 to 50 miles.

She shared the length of the M5 with me and didn't bat an eyelid.

I learnt to drive round there too and then moved to Birmingham. I did spend a couple of (pre shops being allowed to open) Sundays learning my way round the city centre, but it was ok.

I actually got far more lost a couple of weeks ago because they've changed everything

Honestly OP You'll be fine.

Oldraver · 26/03/2014 01:01

Yes I would do it as I wouldn't like the A roads that are alternative to the M40..

You say that you need to do a bit of the M42....If you are going east on the way home (toward NEC etc) joining the M42 can be a bit daunting...just take a deep breath and ignore that traffic on your inside will be faster than you, they have been travelling on M-Way and you are joining the centre of the carriageway from a 50mph slip road, but IME it isnt an issue