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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To change campsite?

42 replies

chicaguapa · 25/03/2014 13:05

IA probably BU but just looking for one person to say IANBU.

We have some friends (parents of DC's friends) who are good company. They like camping too and we've talked a few times about going away together.

I recently found a fairly local site and asked them if they wanted to go away with us over a particular weekend and suggested the site. We agreed to go there. (

OP posts:

derektheladyhamster · 25/03/2014 13:10

yanbu - the original weekend doesn't seem to suit them if they can't get there until late, so go to your favourite and go as a group another weekend.

TarkaTheOtter · 25/03/2014 13:16

Your prerogative to cancel but if I were them I wouldn't be in a hurry to rearrange.

Scholes34 · 25/03/2014 13:17

YABU. The original weekend does suit them - they're just arriving later in the day, I assume, not a day later.

Grennie · 25/03/2014 13:18

You are basically ditching them because they can't get to the campsite you invited them to, at the same time as you? When we go camping with friends people get there at different times, and they always save a pitch for the other. If I was them, I would be hurt and just assune you had changed your mind about wanting to camp with them.

So if you don't want to develop this friendship YANBU, if you do, you are.

ViviPru · 25/03/2014 13:19

Perhaps take the tack that being as they couldn't get there until later, and your DCs have got wind of X activity going on at capsite B and are keen to go it might be better for everyone if you raincheck - then propose some alternative dates to visit campsite A?

Grennie · 25/03/2014 13:20

I am not sure if I would go away with you again if I was the other couple either. Usually I have to rearrange stuff to go away for a weekend. I would resent doing that and then being cancelled on for no good reason. So I wouldn't trust that you wouldn't do it again.

I used to have a friend who was like this and would cancel our arrangements all the time if a better offer came through. I simply started saying i was bust when she phoned to arrange.

Middleagedmotheroftwo · 25/03/2014 13:21

YABU. You can't pull out of a weekend you've already agreed to go on with friends, when you arranged it in the first place, just because they'll be a few hours late arriving.

You'll be able to get yourselves all organised, and offer them a cuppa, get the evening meal on and help with their tent when they arrive all grumpy after a long Friday night rush hour drive.

Grennie · 25/03/2014 13:26

I feel quite sorry for your friends actually.

ViviPru · 25/03/2014 13:29

Is there more to it OP? What's the big whoop about the 'special weekend' and why are your friends not keen on the other campsite?

Original poster

chicaguapa · 25/03/2014 14:14

Fwiw I do think WABU. We were just having second thoughts as it turns out we'll be getting there earlier but they won't be arriving until 9pm-ish. I'm not sure if we'll be able to save enough space for them as it's unallocated pitches and it'll be a busy bank holiday weekend. So we were wondering about rescheduling it anyway for a less busy weekend when it didn't matter so much.

The other site is more local and has organised activities, abseiling and such, on that particular weekend for campers. We'd have definitely gone if we hadn't already arranged something. But it's not their kind of thing as they like it more rustic (which is fair enough).

I'm not flakey though and wouldn't change it without a discussion. ie We wouldn't say we can't go now and leave them in the lurch. But would try to come to a mutual rearrangement. I do understand what you mean though as I am very when people change plans once they've been arranged and would be less likely to organised something again in the future. We haven't booked anything yet.

OP posts:

Grennie · 25/03/2014 14:33

To save a pitch stress free you put something down to show it is taken. An old tarpaulin, a couple of camping chairs spaced out, some old towels laid out. I have done this many a time with no issue at all.

pussycatdoll · 25/03/2014 14:37

Why would they want to arrive at 9pm though
By the time there tent is up it'll be bedtime
First evening over

ViviPru · 25/03/2014 14:39

By the time there tent is up it'll be bedtime
Ah I see you've camped with my DH

flipchart · 25/03/2014 14:39

I would offer to put their tent up so you have the pitch you want.( assuming it's a tent that isn't too much faff.)

ViviPru · 25/03/2014 14:41

OOooh that's a SUPER idea, flip. Kind, helpful, and hugely appealing to the control freak in me. I get the twitch when we co-locate with friends and they position their tent in a STUPID WAY.

francesdrake · 25/03/2014 14:44

I was ready for the drip feed that the 'not their cup of tea' site was going to be some kind of naturist place with compulsory nude badminton, knobbly knees competition, etc. Boo.

ViviPru · 25/03/2014 14:57

We too frances. Knobbliest nob competitions and whatnot.

Grennie · 25/03/2014 14:58

pussycatdoll - Presumably they can't leave work early. And many of us don't go to bed at 9.30 or 10pm.

mrsjay · 25/03/2014 15:05

yabu to just ditch them this is the thing though if a lot are going away maybe you could be diplomatic and say look this isn't going to suit everybody why dont we do it another time (so they can be there for their own blleding pitches) and then you can go to the site you want

Original poster

chicaguapa · 25/03/2014 16:19

They could leave earlier but are choosing not to. I'm taking the afternoon off so we can get packed and get away when school finishes. But they want to leave after work.

I don't mind, it's up to them what they do. But it does impact on us and has changed our first afternoon/ evening in that we will be saving the pitch for them when people are driving around looking for somewhere to put their tent up and we'll be avoiding eye contact. Putting their tent up is a good idea but we wouldn't have room for it in our car.

And we will be waiting for them to arrive instead of relaxing. We won't be able to leave the pitch and go off and do something else in case we come back and someone has removed the chairs etc we have used to reserve the space.

This probably makes us selfish and I'm not normally like that and am happy to help out but it has made us go off the idea slightly because that has changed since we orginally arranged it. So we were having second thoughts and then the other site came up and we thought that solved the problem as it's closer.

I don't want it to be a big deal really, but I was just wondering if there was any justification in moving it to another weekend and going to the second campsite on our own. But I don't want to be a meanie so we'll just stick to what we've arranged.

OP posts:

flipchart · 25/03/2014 16:30

Well why don't you suggests rearrangement. You will e able to gauge from their reaction if they are happy with it or nit,

If you can tell they are not happy leave the plan as it is. You never know they might be secretly happy for a changed date.

ViviPru · 25/03/2014 16:53

Those first night irks are the kinds of things I get all angsty about too OP (and I'm not generally an anxious person whatsoever) so I do understand.

I usually find however that when I've been teeth-grinding over the permeations of stuff like this (and DH couldn't give less of a shit about any of it and thinks I'm just being a fusspot) Things usually work out fine and I wish I'd just been a bit less stressy over preconceived inconveniences...

blanchedeveraux · 25/03/2014 17:04

ViviPru is right. I'm a bit like this (frequent camper, lots of different people arriving at different times). I've got a mate who always wants to be there at the crack of dawn, others pitch up randomly. I get in a state about who's going where and doing what, DH just opens the wine and couldn't care less. It nearly all works out in the end. Have a lovely weekend whatever happens.

flipchart · 25/03/2014 17:08

Why do you have to be next to each other anyway?
Why can't you just wander across to the other family or they come over to you and crack open a bottle of wine or whatever.

Pixel · 25/03/2014 17:10

Would you have room for their tent if they took some of your stuff? You could swap the day before. I do realise that it could just add to the general trauma but if you were planning on taking something large but non-essential (like kids' bikes or a bbq) then it might be ok. Or tell them you'll go ahead and put both the tents up if they bring your kids along with them later. You could be clutching an empty bottle of wine in front of two wonky tents by the time they all get there .

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