To not want a mothers day card.

[NiaceGuidelines]

It will be my first mothers day. I have a 6 month old DS. He's beautiful. I went back to work part time a few weeks ago. My husband has called me 'selfish and neglectful mother' said things like ' YOU think YOU deserve a good nights sleep' told me that if I didn't listen to him I'd have social services to listen to. He told me my parenting was in the same league as two people, one who has had children removed for battery, one who has a CIN 3 in place for neglect.

I have been spoken to like i'm not even a person.

All I have done is not follow his orders to9 take DS temperature in the night and give him calpol. He was asleep, and go back to work basically...oh and spend time organizing my social life via facebook. He hates facebook.

I have told him that buying me a mothers day card would be an insult. He has said it's not about him it's about DS. I kicked him out for a week, he is now home under the agreement, (his idea) that we dont discuss anything) and go to relate.

I am hurting so much and feel desperately sad and lonely and have no idea how to get past this. I cant sleep well and just feel like crying all the time. I want him to leave but feel i owe it to or marriage and DS to try and get through it.

I really dont want a mothers day card. Not that he has brought. Not after he has said those things to me.

the card is all false I dont know why he is saying your are a terrible parents then wanting to get you a card he is playing with your head he needs to leave what could you have done wrong nobody deserves to be spoken to like that NO ONE

I dont understand what has happened. He is an unhappy person. He doesnt have the capacity to be happy I dont think. Not to sustain it. He wont go, he says we'll stay in the house together until it is sold if we divorce

I dont understand any of it, why he could say those things. I think he's a bit mental. He said to me that he thought I dont listen to his views on weaning or solids etc because I'm deliberately trying to make him suffer, playing mind games stc. I said I have tended to take my guidance from my family, friends, NCT group etc, that's how i make decisions about parenting.

I dont understand him. I said that I felt like he had a script running through his head where he was constantly criticizing me. He said that yes, he does have that script.

Part of me wishes I hadnt let him home but i felt i owed it to our marriage and to our little boy to agree to the counselling.

I think in future I would have the counselling whilst separated. There is still the possibility for things to get sorted, but in the meantime you can't mess each other up, or your little boy.

Mother's day can be much more trouble than it's worth for many people.
A bit like Valentine's day
and other over commercialised, overly proscribed shit

If you're lucky enough to have a dear child or two old enough to make you a card, perhaps with help from nursery or school, then it can be very sweet.

For many people it is a royal pain in the ass.

For some it is heart-breaking

You don't need a mother's day card. You need a divorce lawyer.

no excuse whatsoever for treating you like this but do you ever ask his advise about parenting or do you dismiss it ? maybe he feels left out of the babies life, AGAIN no excuse for treating you so badly

He projects everything he knows is wrong with him onto you doesn't he?
Manipulative, controlling, abusive, not having normal emotions...all of those things are descriptive of his own flaws.

Look - there's no gentle way of saying this. Your man there is rotten to the core. There is nothing you can do for him. If you stay, he will destroy you.

god your lovely DS will one day thank you for getting rid of your arsehole of a husband. you don't have to live with shit like that :(

I havent listened enough mrsjy Anyway, thank you for support. I'm asking for this to be taken down now as he's seen it and is pissed off.

Will you be ok?

I know he is reading this and for his benefit, all a want is some acknowledgement of how much it fucking hurts to be called those things, it really really really hurts. I'm going to make mistakes for fucks sake i['m not going to get it right every time. I just want to hear something positive, something good, something fucking kind and for us to speak without abuse, to listen to each other, to go out together to spend time as a family to be fucking normal, i hate myself, i feel like cutting myself, i feel like running away but i'm not going to do it i'm not going to give in to these shitty shitty feelings ever again, i'm not, never. I want to be a better porson, every day i'm going to get better and better and be kind and respectful and listen to people and carry on loving DS and doing the very best for him however lonely and scared I feel. I am on here because i need someone to talk to about how i'm feeling and i should listen to DH more I know I should but i feel lost now. I feel like we are two scared people getting angry.

I'm not going to cut myself or run away.

DH isnt all bad. He is a good person in many ways, just not with me. We are a bad combination.

Why should you listen to him more? What makes him the expert that must be adhered to? Genuine ask.

Anyway, even if DH and I do divorce then he will still have access to DS of course. Jut because DH cant find any way to be pleasant with me doesnt mean he wont be a decent father.

And we'll still be here...

Take care OP.

Beacause he actually is an expert pictish

thanks.

You need to leave this man and leave very soon. He is messing with your mind. No one is perfect but he is destroying you and he will destroy your son.