To be a little frustrated when DP wakes up DD from naps

[Chocoholism]

I don't suppose he means to but 4m old DD woke up at 6am today and fell asleep again at about 7.45am. DP wakes up and comes in front room notices she's asleep and whispers good morning then proceeds to wander around opening things, zipping up compartments to work folders, coughing loudly, banging closed cupboards and just being a bit loud, DD stirs and wakes up after only a little sleep, now I know it can't be silent, I have tv on still but it's the sort of loud sudden noise he makes.... Is it me being grouchy due to crap sleep or is it a tad unreasonable of him?

It's not very thoughtful but if she's asleep in the front room then it's a bit hard on him to not make a sound while he gets ready for work....

A child does need to get used to sleeping with noise. But yes, he could have taken more care.

Maybe tomorrow, pop her back upstairs.

It's tricky cos she's 4 months so can't nap anywhere else unless in same room as us rite? We in 1 bed flat at present, DP in bedroom asleep til wakes up and then comes to front room and wakes DD up! I'm not really mad or anything just think oh Fgs! Pls shut up!

I used to hoover right up to, including the odd bumping into, my sleeping baby's moses basket. I was determined to not be the silent family living on eggshells. A year later, we are the silent family living on eggshells desperate for naps to go on for as long as possible!

We lived in a one bed when dd was tiny. To be honest its impossible to let them nap in peace when everyone's home. She will get used to it, and will learn to sleep through it. My dd is 16 months, and could sleep through world war 3 now, my dh can do DIY in her room and she stays asleep. I attribute tgis to a noisy start!

She can nap in your room without you sat there.

Honest, she will be fine. Just pop your head round to check on her.

I attribute tgis to a noisy start!

I think it's much more nature than nurture. I tried being noisy with DD1 and soon ended up on eggshells as my sense of self preservation kicked in. DD2 could sleep through Armageddon even though I was so paranoid about ending up with another non-sleeper that I threatened all sorts of horrible ends to anyone who woke her up at first.

OP, you could work on the principle that he who wakes her gets to look after her.

I feel your pain - dc3 went down for a nap 40 minutes ago..... She almost gets there then one of the older ones shouts and we start all over again. It's because I've left them playing with daddy who thinks I tell them to shhhh too much!! Well he can sort out the baby too this time!!

Oh and I agree with the nature argument - dc2 would have slept through Armageddon - dc1 and 3 not so much!!

Ds1,2 and 3 would sleep through anything. Ds4, the only one who has to really due to the small age gap between him and ds3 so all the toddler noise doesnt. Its a real pain! Although hes never been much of a one for napping in the day unfortunatly

So if shed been in the bedroom hed have probably woken her up when he got up anyway.

It's been many years since my 2 were tiny but I'm sure beyond all doubt that murder would have been committed if DH had done this .OK , perhaps give a warning < I find the death stare useful > after the first time , then ......... :)

OP - you're right that SIDS guidance is that she should nap in the same room as you, well done for following this.

He should be more considerate and not bang around BUT if it's just normal everyday noise (no banging) then she will learn to sleep through it, or if she wakes up then she wasn't sleepy enough anyway. I hope some days you are getting the lie-in while he does the early wake-up!

I'm totally with you op. It's amazing how many parents genuinely believe that they have 'taught' their dcs to sleep through noise. The fact is: some will, some won't. I'm sorry, but such parents are lucky not clever.

YANBU. My DH makes a racket when he does anything at all. Even his own family tell him to shut up and they are all equally loud!

I know it has a lot to do with nurture how heavily a.child sleeps, but it does them no harm to sleep with a bit of noise, and from recent experience it is very hard to avoid if two adults and a baby live in a 1 bed flat. My dd definitely got better at sleeping through noise, not because I taught her but because there was no alternative.

Op, we would often put dd for her nap in our room with the video monitor on, it was so small.that it was basically being in the same room!

I'm with you too OP, your DP is obviously just a noisy sort of person :)

I would have killed him with my bare hands op. still remember sleep issues and my youngest is 14.

but you are probably a tad sleep deprived.

Much better to go about your normal business without making everything a noise free zone but otoh

coughing loudly, banging closed cupboards and just being a bit loud

I would say that is him making sure you are up and busy and not relaxing. Unless he is taking charge of her.

Put the baby down in the bedroom!

Don't put your dd in the bedroom you are right to follow SIDS advice.

I never kept the place overly quiet when mine were babies. I took the view that normal daytime noise was what would teach them the difference between night and day.

At the age your baby is mine were usually asleep in the pram in the same room as us. I carried on around them, sometimes even vacuuming etc., emptying dishwasher (not exactly a quiet job), and generally pottering around.

I didn't set out to purposely wake them up though. If your partner is doing this deliberately then I would be annoyed with him. At that stage of the day if she would have an extra hour of sleep it would be good for her and for you, allowing you to have your own breakfast and a cuppa in peace (bliss).