to not get pregnancy hormones excuse.

[ICanSeeTheSun]

Please can someone explain in simple terms why this is acceptable.

Tilly, I can't use hormone contraception either for the same reason and I had such bad HG I was induced at 35 weeks with 2 of mine and the rest at either 36 or 37

And to think people think the pill is the answer to everything!

I had to have a blood test for factor VIII Leiden to even get to try out the combined pill in the first place, due to a family history of thromboses. I came up clear for that, and then developed my very own unique (in the family) hormone sensitivity during pregnancy. Go me!

YABU.

I didn't suffer with pregnancy hormones or scatty brain either, I did however puke my guts up daily for 4 months and was so weak I could barely get out of bed.
Funnily enough I do get PMT so I know how it must have felt for those that did. Damn those hormones!

Reading this thread made me laugh and a bit sad. I am normally a very 'stable' calm person but did have PMT...every month..luckily only a few hours/days. The rage would come from no where. Pregnancy for me was 9 months of PMT and i was very very sick. Now I am going through the menopause and whilst I do not rage, I am sad and have no energy and some days when I am not working I can't be bothered to get dressed. Not like me at all. HRT has helped enormously so must be hormone related. A friend of mine who sailed through pregnancy and the menopause makes comments like 'Oh ... at the Drs again'. I feel like a hypochondriac and wish she would shut up. In fact I have stopped talking about how I feel as she doesn't get it. She had no sickness, and I would say, easy pregnancies, sailed through the menopause. I didn't ...and have lots of problems caused by hormones. She was lucky and I would say to anyone who doesn't believe that hormones can make some people behave differently...Just because you didn't have problems, doesn't mean that others make them up...for attention!!?? As I was puking ...again...she told me it was all in my head!

Depends what you're using it as an excuse for. It's obviously not something you can use to justify going round hitting grannies.

However, I'm due to give birth in a few days and for the last 9 months have cried at the drop of a hat.

Seriously - I cried at geese the other day. I thought it was lovely that some cars had stopped to let them cross the road and just couldn't help myself.

I'm normally quite a heartless hardened individual.

Definitely not an excuse! Having never had pms or any hormonal issues before, being pregnant with my DTs turned me into almost another person! Yes to crying at the drop of a hat, forgetting the simplest of tasks, making mountains out of molehills
I was one of those people who didn't believe the 'hype' surrounding pms and pregnancy hormones...boy was I wrong

I find the post natal hormones far weirder! After my first baby was born I went upstairs to lie down and watch a comedy show. In the show, the couple had a very funny argument - I started laughing, which turned to hysterical laughing, which turned into sobbing and I couldn't stop for about twenty minutes. My poor DH thought something was very wrong!

Hormones affect people differently. I can't relate to the preggo rage/what have you cried at threads on the pregnancy forum as they are not having either of those effects on me. I fully accept that other people feel those ways when pregnant though.

However, the pill did make me depressed. The downregging drugs for IVF turned me into a proper looper. Most people don't get either of those reactions. Hormones are strange things.

I think I get where you're coming from OP. I don't get PMT and had an easy pregnancy generally, but I did have a period where I was hyper emotional and crying at TV adverts, etc. That was definitely hormone related. Hormones affect mood. That's scientific fact.

What they don't do is fundamentally alter behaviour unless you are so badly affected that you are one step short of requiring hospital admission (which can happen). Feeling something is not the same as being compelled to do something.

It's the same as alcohol. Both affect your level of inhibition, but they don't fundamentally alter your values and attitudes. Feeling sad/angry/cotton-woolly can certainly be considered mitigating factors, but they are not justifications or excuses.

The logical extrapolation of the idea that women can't be held responsible for their behaviour when in the grip of pregnancy hormones is that pregnant women are generally unable to behave normally and should therefore not be allowed to undertake certain roles when pregnant.

Clearly that's misogynistic BS. Understanding that someone may be experiencing emotional stress and finding things more difficult is not the same as giving them carte blanche to behave unacceptably.

Most pregnant women are perfectly able to manage their feelings in a professional environment. You would expect them to be able to relax more at home, or with loved ones etc and maybe be cut a degree of extra slack. However, if they behave unacceptably or abusively, blaming it on hormones, IMO that's a complete cop-out unless things are so bad they need medical intervention. It's the same as an abusive man claiming she provoked him.

Different pregnancies affect different people in different ways.

My first pregnancy was incredibly difficult physically - I was exhausted and in pain throughout, but I don't remember feeling especially emotional - apart from one memorable occasion when I had a screaming, crying fit at DH for swapping the tea towel for a clean one which DIDNT MATCH THE OVEN GLOVES! Not normal behaviour for me at all and I really wasn't thinking clearly - at the time it seemed perfectly obvious that if he could that then he must have never really loved me at all.

But that was a one-off - most of the time I was on a fairly even keel, emotionally. Probably too knackered to get worked up!

I'm now 22 weeks pregnant with DS and the only time I don't feel murderously angry is when I'm weeping. Physically I'm doing much better now than with DD, but emotionally I'm all over the place.

I try not use it as an "excuse" to be a bitch and do my best to keep my emotions controlled, but I've had to warn the people around me that I can't always manage that. It gets worse if I'm hungry - go more than a couple of hours without food and I get positively psychotic, so for the sake of my family and friends I try to keep snacks to hand at all times.

In fact, I feel the rage levels rising, so should probably go and eat something!

My inlaws are here and for no reason at all I want to scream and shout and hit someone. Most of the time my dh's face annoys me and I want to scream at him for just existing!

Pretty sure at 33 weeks this is down to pregnancy hormones!! Usually I'm quite mild tempered

I should add I haven't screamed shouted or hit anyone yet, but I have an overwhelming urge to!

I should add I haven't screamed shouted or hit anyone yet, but I have an overwhelming urge to!

That's the crucial thing, isn't it. It's ok to feel as you do (well actually it sucks to be feeling that, but you know what I mean). The point is that you've controlled your reaction to it.

When pregnant I burst into hysterical sobs watching Gordon Ramsay cut the head off an eel. It's decapitated head continued making little gasping motions after being separated.

I literally understood the term 'burst into tears' then, one minute I was contentedly watching tv, the next, I had tears springing from my eyes and I was howling. My husband didn't know what to do, he knew better than to laugh until I'd calmed down.

I laughed at myself afterwards. Hormones are weird and wonderful things.

Using the example if hitting is extreme, though.

Mood, can change how we communicate, so unless you are aware that you are in a changed/less tolerant state, you may be snappier, or be anxious, so that changes behaviour.

I didn't suffer during my pregnancies, or from PMT, but I did when I entered the Peri Menopause.

I hadn't realised how my personality was changing, luckily I had friends and family around me that pointed it out.

I have learned to control my moments of anxiety and panic attacks (all hormonal), I now only have very mild anxious moments.

There are times when I feel irrationally angry, I don't show it in any way than being quiet, or possibly looking grumpy.

Even not being cheerful, or smiling is taken offence to, though.

I think a lot of women use it as an excuse to be rude and act like a brat if thats what you mean.

When I was preggers I felt on the verge of crying all the time, happy tears, sad tears, tired tears, all sorts of tears,I wasn't like that before so I guess it was the hormones. Maybe it's as there are certain hormones that increase and cause imbalances that affect moods etc

The emotional crying thing I get, I once cried because my strawberry yoghurt didn't taste enough like a strawberry! I have come across women who have blatantly used it as an excuse to he a cow though..

Some people will find any excuse to justify bad behaviour but if you know them then you'll be expecting that. Birdsgottafly explained how hormones can manipulate you and influence your life in unexpected ways.

I felt quite sad and a bit angry that everyone - people in town, the county all over the country were going to work the day after I had my baby. In my head it should have been a public holiday, DH agreed it was my hormones manipulating my perception - secretly I still have n't forgiven the world for going about it's business.

My first pregnancy I was very emotionally unstable, cried at the drop of a hat, snarky, got irrationally angry, did stupid things like leave my keys in the ignition of the car overnight.

My second pregnancy I didn't cry, was fairly stable, and my DH was very relieved and commented on the huge difference.

My first was a boy, the second a girl. I don't know if that made any difference to the hormones involved, but by god did I feel differently and it was definitely hormone related.

Most pregnant women are perfectly able to manage their feelings in a professional environment.

That's the rub, isn't it? Whatever happens at home, doing 5 months with a boss who is being the most miserable fucker imaginable in a very very small office is no-one's idea of fun, and it's really unprofessional. I got that she was getting no sleep and was knackered, I really did - I'm miserable on no sleep too. However, the snapping at literally everything, the jealous comments 'oh, you're so spoiled' when I was going on holiday (what?? I'm paying for it, you twit!), the negativity.... gah. Being a bit narky is understandable, but while you're at work, for the sake of professionalism try to contain it.

Another colleague got pregnant and the only noticable change to her demeanour was that she stopped drinking tea.

Pg hormones shouldn't be used as an excuse, and also affect everyone differently. Mine have been making me feel less rational and more tearful at times, and then euphoric and incredibly relaxed at others. Sometimes when I eat food it tastes like the best food on the planet, and at other times the thought of eating is repulsive. I'd never use hormones as an excuse but I can see times when my behaviour hasn't been the same as it would have been when not pg.