To bf on the shop floor when there's a feeding room?

[TheFlumpFlan]

I think I was being the exact opposite of inconsiderate, friend thinks I was.

In short:

I was on a shopping trip from hell (4 kids wanting school bits) which was unproductive and I was heading back through the department store to the carpark when I saw they had a clarks shoe bit with a sale (empty). I plonked down, asked the assistant if she had ds1 and ds2 size shoes and started to feed whiney velcro baby in order to be heard rather than screamed over. I'm an experienced feeder (top up, other down) and can easily feed strolling around without flashing a nipple though I sat this time with my back to the main walkway. The assistant replied to my request with 'we have a feeding room', I smiled back and said I was fine and asked again for the shoes. She suggested I feed there and popped back, and gave directions, to which I said I knew it was two floors up, full of mothers who are trying to soothe tiny ones who don't need my lot staring at them/ being loud plus I was in a rush. She looked so grumpy getting bits out and affronted by me. I'm not particularly confrontational or particular about bf (I've ebf, mixed and ff equally loved children) but it got my back up a bit. I didn't flash her, was polite, as were the children (though I doubt they would have been stuffed into a small room with nowt to look at) and it was easier for all than listening to a screaming baby.

My sister, mum and friend all maintain it is unreasonable to publically feed unless you must, and stores provide a feeding room so people like me don't take up space feeding or put off others shopping. Yet even the dad on his own didn't look fussed when he came over (I think noone noticed). They say I may have put of business and it's just inconsiderate.

[MrsMook]

Sometimes a feeding room is a more convenient option, sometimes it isn't. Sometimes I've accepted IKEAs facility as it's suited the moment, other times I've favoured refreshments in the cafe and other times it's been easier to feed on the move in the sling.

YANBU to take the most practical option at the time, particularly as it was causing no hinderence to anyone else.

[NewtRipley]

YANBU

Feeding rooms are not for the comfort of other people, they are a choice for a bfeeder who wants to use them.

[pinkr]

I was put off using a feeding room in a shopping centre recently as it was so isolated... Through two doors etc... and deserted. No way was I sitting there in a vulnerable position considering anyone could wander in. sitting duck for any pervert really.

[Nennypops]

Not for the first time today I feel mumsnetters inhabit another parallel universe. I have bf all my kids anywhere and everywhere with no funny looks, no comments and no tutting ever heard.

where are these huffing tutting people?

Look at the comments under any Daily Mail story about bf and you'll find them. There seem to be an awful lot of Mail readers who are positively frightened of it, goodness knows why. Comments will inevitably include:

• people talking about bf in terms of people "flopping their baps out" or similar charmless terminology. They plainly haven't seen the act of bf, otherwise they'd know that there's no flopping involved, nor does anyone actually get their breasts out; they simply uncover the nipple and put the baby to it.
  

• a load more claiming that bf mothers only do it to be militant/lefty/ show off. Quite what is left wing about using breasts for their primary purpose, again goodness only knows.
  

• several going on about how they managed to organise their babies so that they conveniently fed before they went out and never had any trouble. Either they have very short memories or were of the leave-the-baby-to-cry persuasion.
  

• delicate little flowers who say they just find it offensive and they shouldn't be subjected to the horror. They never explain why they can't just look somewhere else.
  

• and the prizewinners: those who come up triumphantly with the line that "people claim it's natural, well so is defecating and urinating but you don't expect to do that in public do you?" It never occurs to them that eating and drinking are also natural

[BerniceBroadside]

Feeding rooms are invariably rank, out of the way and only for women who WANT to use them. You did right staying put.

[BerniceBroadside]

In fact the feeding area in mothercare was actually in the toilets. Fuck that. Why would you want to feed your baby three feet away from someone doing a poo?

[MrsPixieMoo]

YANBU. Complain to Clark's and feed where you like. The law is on your side.

[Mumof3xx]

Yanbu
I have never bf myself through choice but you wouldn't have put me off my shopping
I go shopping to buy things not gawp at other people

[Idocrazythings]

Just another YANBU to add to your list... For reasons already mentioned

[TrinityRhino]

YANBU times a billion

just pathetic that anyone feels they can be bothered by it or offended by it

[Gileswithachainsaw]

Yanbu.

Have no idea how anyone would have been remotely bothered or have even noticed.

Perhaps she should concentrate on serving customers than making a big deal out of nothing

[juule]

Another YANBU from me. Once you had indicated that you were aware of the feeding room but didn't want to use it, then that should have been the end of it.

And at your family and friends thinking it would "put off others shopping.

[ItsAllGoingToBeFine]

YANBU and complain.

[fluffyraggies]

- sad to admit that i do have to get (flop?) a whole 'bap' out. I would love love love to simply expertly expose a nipple and away we go - but i have big (uncooperative) boobs and seem to have to manhandle them a bit to feed :(

so i would use the feeding room
if i ever plucked up the courage to feed anywhere other than the car when out

[zumm]

YADNBU - poor you. Well done for preserving though! Why the hell should you go into a smelly feeding room (they're usually smelly, let's face it, and hot, and windowless). Clearly we should all be ashamed. I'm mad on your behalf. (oh, didn't realise I felt so strongly ;) Yes, complain.

[Misspixietrix]

Arf at you being bloody minded! . Were you fuck OP! Haha. You was feeding your baby. Not performing a strip act in the centre of mothercare. YDNBU!!

[DuckandCat]

YANBU

Shoe departments were one of my prime choices when feeding DD when out and about. (When not busy with people needing to try on shoes obv) Seats outside changing rooms was another.

I used 'feeding rooms' in the early days and not only would I have to trek to find them, they nearly always stank!

[TrinityRhino]

I sat on the floor at the end of a clothes aisle of an Asda once to feed Gecko

An Asda worker stared walking towards me and I thought I was going to be in trouble but she just offered to get me a chair

[SooticaTheWitchesCat]

YANBU, I used to feed my babies wherever and whenever they needed it. I have fed in shops, restaurants, on park benches and on the beach. Thankfully I never came across any narrow minded people who thought I shouldn't do it.

You carry on feeding your baby where you want to

[Morgause]

I don't think YWBU to feed your baby but I do think YWBU to expect the assistant to serve you while you did so. Couldn't you have fed the baby then bought the shoes? Seems a bit bad mannered to me.

[Ilikecakes]

YADNBU - what a flipping cheek in any case, but particularly when you were trying to buy two pairs of overpriced, overmarketed, overrated shoes.

Tweet them, reminding them of the law and suggesting that their staff perhaps be trained in this aspect of it. Nothing like airing a company's dirty laundry in public to gain a swift response…….

[Ilikecakes]

Morgause, would it not have been slightly more ill-mannered to attempt the transaction with a screaming, hungry baby making its presence known? Would you have deemed it bad mannered too if she'd been bottle feeding the baby?

[fluffyraggies]

Bad mannered?

I think any shop assistant who is that easily flustered is either very young, very unused to dealing with the public or in the wrong job.

Having spent years in retail serving the public i can assure you a woman breastfeeding while i served her wouldn't make me bat an eyelid.

(In fact i helped a woman try her wedding make up while she was feeding once. We just placed a muslin lightly over the baby's face to stop any powder falling on it and all was fine )

[StealthPolarBear]

Whenever my DCs are getting shoes I tend to sit a little away from them and just nag them not to just say they like the ones with the toys in the heels. Could easily do that while breastfeeding. There's very little interaction between me and the assistant iyswim. The children are being served, not me.

[Manchesterhistorygirl]

You are not being unreasonable! I used feeding rooms in the early days with both my dc because it was easier for my to get them to latch on in the quiet and our local mothercare used to put toys in for bigger children to play with, so that was always good.

Once I got into the swing of it then I fed everywhere! The strangest being the blue john cavern on the walk back up and on the cable cars at Drayton manor.

Complain, complain, complain!