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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have felt uncomfortable at this conversation at the checkout?

47 replies

bracken101 · 19/03/2014 22:19

Was buying a few things in Tesco, including condoms. The cashier asked me why I couldn't get them free on the NHS, I mumbled something about not being young enough. She then told me that she couldn't go on the pill so had had to use condoms but she always used to get them free, and something about how she had tried a coil but by this point I was really embarrassed and I think she noticed and stopped.

Am I a prude? Is it really fine to chat to strangers about your contraceptive choices?

OP posts:

NearTheWindymill · 19/03/2014 23:16

I wouldn't have liked it OP. I prefer chats to be about the chocolate fudge cake being a good bargain and "how many have you got at home" type stuff.

LimeLelloLizard · 19/03/2014 23:17

Last time I was in Tesco, the cashier told me leeringly that he preferred to have sex with 'older women, aged 25 to 30'.

I found it creepy and considered reporting him.

Anyway, YANBU. Cashiers should stick to conversation about the weather.

BeerHunter · 19/03/2014 23:42

I can sympathise op.
I went to a chemist to buy a pregnancy test and the guy working the till asked me if it was planned and would I be pleased if I was pregnant.

I was so embarrassed and slightly insulted.

sleepdodger · 19/03/2014 23:47

Is this a tesco thing?
Buying a twin pack clear blue digital all singing dancing pg test kit padded out with random other stuff....
"ooh I used this one, it's dead good, pauses, can't get tags off box, shout across to Trisha to come and get tags off this preg test box.... It was right by work (I know but I needed to get one fast!) I wanted out quickly... It didn't stop there

Just put the stuff through and go back to bring the usual rude non interested tesco-bots....

NoodleOodle · 19/03/2014 23:50

YANBU inappropriate for cashier chit chat.

bellybuttonfairy · 20/03/2014 00:02

Haha. I work as a midwife so am desensitized to chatting about bodily functions and peoples private lives. However, I have to be careful when I'm out and about. People have said in the past - 'I cant believe you've just said that!'

I would have had a lovely natter with the friendly cashier and her coil. I bet it was an old copper coil that she didnt get on with. I would have told her to pop back to the family planning clinic for a merina.

AgaPanthers · 20/03/2014 00:11

I always felt guilty about taking the free condoms.

Chloerose75 · 20/03/2014 00:20

Geez, definitely over sharing! I don't even like the more "normal" chit chat but Tesco cashier giving her opinion on my orange juice and iced coffee last time I was in now sounds quite tame.

unlucky83 · 20/03/2014 00:32

YABLU - she was only trying to save you money and got carried away...like others have said probably kicking herself now - and you probably were looking approachable - when I bought a pregnancy test from Tescos ( 8yrs ago) no comment was made - but probably because I had my head down avoiding conversation...
And cashiers can't win - one cheerily asked me if I'd had a good weekend...I laughed and said not exactly - my uncle has just died and started crying (silently) -. She was desperately trying to get my shopping through asap and apologise and ...
but actually I would really like to apologise to her because she was just doing her job, she obviously felt really terrible and it wasn't her fault...it wouldn't have taken much to set me off - I had only just been holding it together anyway ...

CrohnicallyChanging · 20/03/2014 06:30

And this is one reason why I prefer Lidl! No chit chat, they just scan your items and shove them towards you.

quirrelquarrel · 20/03/2014 09:12

I work in a place where we get lots of period talk, pregnancy talk and LOTS of oversharing. I think I'm immune to it by now. I'd have joined in with gusto I'm afraid

MorrisZapp · 20/03/2014 09:16

It wouldn't bother me personally. As I get older, I'm constantly surprised by how many people out there hate discussing anything about themselves or anything potentially embarrassing.

My family and friends discuss pretty much anything, and I always feel that being female is like a secret handshake, and if I share a bit with others they will respond in kind. I must admit its a bit of a bucket of cold water when the occasional woman is like 'that's too personal'.

It rarely happens though. Most women love discussing this stuff.

MorrisZapp · 20/03/2014 09:17

Even The Works cheap bookshop sells condoms btw, or in Scotland anyway. They're whiskey flavoured :)

cwtchontoast · 20/03/2014 09:22

FunkyBold I laughed so hard I nearly weed :D Op, yanbu, I'm pretty forward about that sort of thing with friends but I'd cringe if a checkout assistant said it.

SometimesLonely · 20/03/2014 09:23

I don't know why they can't just concentrate on what they're doing - scanning things through the check out. What I am / do / want / can see/ have a holiday / how well I slept last night is my business and no one else's.

BeverleyMoss · 20/03/2014 09:25

THIS is why I do scan and pack.

KirstyJC · 20/03/2014 09:30

Definitely a bit too much!

It is true that you can get them for free at any age though, we get ours from the Family Planning Clinic and you get 36 free in a plain paper bag. They ask what type you want and I must admit I was a bit taken aback when they asked 'anal or vaginal' loudly in the Reception where several other people were waiting.

The worst bit about the Tesco checkout is when they say 'sorry to keep you waiting ' really loudly whilst the person in front is still there, and even if they haven't actually held you up. I know they need to say this but I can't see why - it is so rude to the person in front as it implies they were really slow and have delayed you. Once when I heard it said whilst I was the shopper in front and have actually told the cashier that I didn't make them wait, thank you, as they were still unpacking their trolley. Got a glare for that one from the cashier!

TruffleOil · 20/03/2014 09:33

I'm just mortified on your behalf! I would probably have cried.

UncleT · 20/03/2014 17:01

Absolute nonsense, Justas. Supermarket cashiers can win, by being professional and maintaining respect. Not poking your schnozz into the sex life of a customer doesn't mean you can't be cheery and polite, and talk about appropriate things.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 20/03/2014 17:14

I was in a shop last week, the young man in front of me was buying condoms and Vaseline
I did consider saying "Don't be using those together now"
but I thought better of it .

(I am old enough to be his mother so it would have been in a caring non pervy way )

MrsTaraPlumbing · 20/03/2014 17:18

No one has ever asked me about buying condoms, but if they did I would say either:

I have used up my free NHS quota (really what working person has the time to go to clinics for free condoms?)
I need to stock up I'm planning a great party at the weekend.

And I often buy them in bulk when they have those 3 for price of 2 offers so I may well be buying 36 at a time!

propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS · 20/03/2014 17:27

I would not have minded at all as long as the conversation was not in front of my children.

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