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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to drink alcohol when I have FIVE alcoholic siblings?

29 replies

TheSnowBear · 19/03/2014 21:43

I'm one of six. ALL my siblings have had serious problems with alcohol at one point or another. Four continue to attend AA meetings. The other is now abstinent.
We're from a lovely, supportive family, with highly functioning parents, so I can only assume rogue genes.
I think my relationship with alcohol is OK. I'm not a heavy drinker, although I have a glass or two of wine more nights than not. Am I being foolish to even touch the stuff??

OP posts:
JeanSeberg · 19/03/2014 21:46

How many units do you drink in a week and how many alcohol-free days?

Two glasses 'most nights' (large glasses?) could be 2/3rds of a bottle every day.

LizSurly · 19/03/2014 21:47

I 'd probably impose some 'rules' like not drinking more than three at any one time, and not drinking subsequent days. but that's just me.

TheSnowBear · 19/03/2014 21:48

I think my units are fine - I have an average of 2 units about 5 or 6 days a week, I reckon.

OP posts:
TheSnowBear · 19/03/2014 21:49

Liz, that's a good idea. I think I pretty much stick to that.
It's only really my genetic heritage that makes me think twice.

Thanks for your responses.

OP posts:
antimatter · 19/03/2014 21:50

I have many relatives on my late father side who are alcohol dependent

I decided long time ago I don't drink at home at all. Too much of a risk and also saw people who though they were in control of their drinking becoming alcoholics. I don' want that to happen to me.

fortyplus · 19/03/2014 21:54

If you think you're only having 2 units when you drink 2 glasses of wine you're kidding yourself. A standard 175ml glass is about 1.6 units. Most people seem to have the slightly larger 250ml glasses so 2 glasses of wine = 500ml which is about 6 units. 6 units 5 or 6 times a week - you're consuming up to 36 units even if you don't have a few extra at the weekend. Way more than is healthy.

formerbabe · 19/03/2014 21:54

My family has the 'booze' gene according to one of my relatives. I know I don't have it. I rarely drink and am not fussed by it.

Op..ask yourself if someone said you could never have another alcoholic drink ever again: would you be bothered?

SugarMouse1 · 19/03/2014 21:58

No, not at all. The fact that you stop after two glasses and don't crave more shows how much control you have.

I envy you. I myself have an awful relationship with alcohol although I actually hardly ever drink. But when I do, I totally binge (usually after something stressful/depressing).

It also depends on why you drink as well, is it social or to relax? Were there any other reasons why your siblings became alcoholics?

TheSnowBear · 19/03/2014 22:01

Thanks again, all, for your posts.

former - good question. I'd be a bit pissed off (like if someone told me I couldn't have bread, or chocolate, again), but I think I could live with it without too much problem.

forty, I see what you mean, but I've recently measured it as I'm getting a bit paranoid (hence the OP) - I do have really small glasses, and it's more often one than two.

OP posts:
fortyplus · 19/03/2014 22:04

Measuring drinks and other ritualised/obsessive behaviour is typical of alcoholics! My dad used to measure his drinks every night - 2 glasses of wine mixed with 4 of water and not allowed to touch it till 6pm. But at least it reduced his alcohol consumption to a reasonale level - up till then he was having a large scotch and a litre of wine most nights.

TheSnowBear · 19/03/2014 22:04

sugar, that sounds tough. Thanks for your post.
I have to admit I do sometimes crave a drink to relax, but it just takes one small drink and then I'm not that bothered about more. My siblings all have MH problems too. I have no idea why. Again, genes, I suppose.

OP posts:
WeeSleekit · 19/03/2014 22:06

I am one of 4 siblings, 2 are alcoholic and there are other alcoholics in our family including our father and maternal grandfather. I drink but only sometimes, can go days or weeks and not be fussed. I'm simply not that bothered about alcohol and don't believe I have an addictive personality. I think being in the habit of drinking most days in the week is different from being addicted to alcohol.

TheSnowBear · 19/03/2014 22:07

forty, I really only measured because of the genetics thing. I wouldn't have occurred to me otherwise. Sounds like you have some experience of these things, though. Hope things are OK with your dad now.

OP posts:
fortyplus · 19/03/2014 22:07

Do be careful SnowBear - I've lost too many friends to alcoholism and most didn't even realise they had a problem till it was way too late.

fortyplus · 19/03/2014 22:08

Thanks - he died about 9 years ago but probably nothing to do with alcohol - it was the 80-per-day smoking that did it! He was the youngest of three but the only one who smoked - it's his brother's 90th birthday tomorrow Smile

TheSnowBear · 19/03/2014 22:09

wee, interesting to hear your experience of this. I agree about habit and addiction being very different.

OP posts:
TheSnowBear · 19/03/2014 22:10

Sorry to hear about your dad, forty. And thanks for the words of caution.

OP posts:
SaucyJack · 19/03/2014 22:11

I have to say that I think drinking a couple of drinks almost every single day of every single week really isn't that great if you're concerned about alcohol dependence.

How would you feel if you didn't/couldn't drink?

fortyplus · 19/03/2014 22:12

Thanks Smile

TheSnowBear · 19/03/2014 22:14

Saucy, when you put it like that... I suppose I wouldn't have posted unless I wondered this on some level.

If I couldn't drink, I'd miss it but not be devastated or anything.

OP posts:
TheSnowBear · 19/03/2014 22:15

Thank you all for your posts. I have to attend to a small child now, so no more MNing for this evening. Thanks again.

OP posts:
antimatter · 20/03/2014 06:17

I think you are drinking more than you think.
Just use calculator like this to calculate how much do you really drink in units:
www.nhs.uk/Tools/Pages/Alcohol-unit-calculator.aspx

2 x160 ml glass of 13% wine is 4.6 units a night
whilst recommendation is 2 - 3 units per day for woman.

You are saying you are measuring them, but were you actually calculating units yourself?

antimatter · 20/03/2014 06:18

sorry!
www.nhs.uk/Tools/Pages/Alcohol-unit-calculator.aspx

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 20/03/2014 06:24

I think 5-6 days a week is too many to drink on regularly. What does your GP say?