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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To take myself out for dinner?

65 replies

PollyCazaletWannabe · 18/03/2014 21:58

I have recently started singing in a choir which rehearses far enough away from home that I can't get home from work and out again to choir without having such a short space of time at home that it would be pointless. (I have a long commute to work as well). I therefore have the choice of staying late at work before going to choir, or going into town and killing time before choir.

Last night the journey was quick and I ended up in town with a good hour and a half to kill before choir. I was hungry. Therefore, I took myself out for dinner to a dim sum restaurant and had a cocktail . It was lovely and I went to choir full and happy.

Today I told people at work what I'd done. One or two said 'oh how lovely!' But the majority were horrified- 'REALLY?!' 'I could never do that!' One chap made a sympathetic face and said 'Could you not find anyone to go with you?'

This attitude confuses me and pisses me off. As an adult, why is it abnormal for me to go and eat dinner on my own if I'm hungry? Why should I need or want anyone else?

Just wondering if IABU and I am the weird one? Or do others do this and it's my colleagues who are BU?

OP posts:

MyNameIsInigoMontoya · 18/03/2014 22:28

Sounds fab to me too! Nice food, something to read, peace and quiet... bliss!

Original poster

PollyCazaletWannabe · 18/03/2014 22:29

Yes SolidGoldBrass the money may be a reason why I won't do it every week starts saving for Monday dinners

OP posts:

NuggetofPurestGreen · 18/03/2014 22:32

You are right OP and your colleagues are wrong. They are the majority though. I've experienced similar with regards to talking about eating alone, going to the cinema alone, waiting in a pub on my own for someone to arrive, and going to concerts alone. They think it's sad/losery to do stuff on your own wheras I think it's a bit sad to be afraid of doing things alone!!

Original poster

PollyCazaletWannabe · 18/03/2014 22:35

Feeling really encouraged by all the support here :)
We should start an MN group- book out all the tables in a restaurant and each sit at one alone. Ooh- maybe we could all MN on our phones about what a fab time we were having

OP posts:

SallyMcgally · 18/03/2014 23:11

It's my favourite thing to do. YANBU. Your colleagues onus slightly pathetic tbh.

singaporefling · 18/03/2014 23:30

Love eating/cinema alone - like most of us, spend soooo much time surrounded/busy it's very relaxing not to have to think about anyone else!

SergeantJarhead · 18/03/2014 23:37

YANBU Op. Sounds blissful to me.
I've had a very very busy two years and would relish the opportunity to eat a good lunch in my favourite bistro with a bloody good book.

I pity insecure people who can't even go for a piss on their own.

DorothyGherkins · 18/03/2014 23:43

I always eat out alone - its bliss! And no one to steal "just a little mouthful" of your pudding either!

BsshBossh · 18/03/2014 23:58

I eat out alone all the time and love it. I eat out with DH, friends & family too but I cherish my solitary time.

BigcatLittlecat · 18/03/2014 23:58

If it's anything like my choir and it's social life you won't be eating alone for long. we are always meeting up before choir! After choir! Any day that has a y in it is a good enough excuse to get together! Hope you're enjoying choir, they are great fun!

BsshBossh · 18/03/2014 23:59

I always aim for a window seat so I can people watch :-)

Original poster

PollyCazaletWannabe · 19/03/2014 06:35

Talking of people who can't go for a piss on their own... Guess what several of my colleagues do when they need a wee? They say 'anyone fancy a wee?' And toddle off together. I have heard one lady on particular practically begging for company on her loo trip. I think they're completely bonkers tbh.

OP posts:

Lovecat · 19/03/2014 06:45

Do you work in a haunted house, Polly? :o (just trying to think of any reason why you'd want company to go to the loo...)

MadAriadne · 19/03/2014 06:46

Polly omg they definitely sound bonkers needy. No wonder they don't understand the joys of solitude. Dim sum which you don't need to share: perfect!

Original poster

PollyCazaletWannabe · 19/03/2014 06:53

Ha! Not a haunted house... I'm a teacher! At break and lunch there is always someone asking if anyone else would like to accompany them to the loo. Maybe it's something to do with the fact that we can't just pop for a wee whenever we fancy and so several people are likely to want to go at break or lunch? I never announce my loo trips though!

Back to the dinner- I discovered that the only problem with dim sum for one is over-ordering! I ended up chomping my way doggedly through some crispy squid when I'd already had enough of course I could have just left it but am greedy

OP posts:

georgesdino · 19/03/2014 06:55

Ive done this since I was 16. My mum always did to.

WisneaMe · 19/03/2014 14:38

I do this every other week,I have one day a week which I'm doing activities and by the after noon it's too late to travel home as an hour later I would have to travel back to go to work.
Iv sometimes wander shops and have a simple Gregg's or I have a pub dinner,I might consider going to Chinese etc restaurant next time and try something new.
Never thought people would be pitying me on passing.

I like my own company and it's not often you have free time out of the house.

EeeIcouldCrushAGrape · 19/03/2014 14:42

YADNBU. Your colleagues are the ones with the weird reactions! Never ceases to baffle me when people simply cannot manage to do anything by themselves and would rather go without than by themselves.
I know a few people like this. What are they so afraid of? I think it's a lot weirder to miss out on doing things just because you've got no-one to go with you and hold your hand!

Dubjackeen · 19/03/2014 22:29

YANBU. I travel a lot for work, so eating alone doesn't cost me a second thought. Enjoy your little bit of solitude, and I bet your singing is all the better for having a nice meal beforehand

kelper · 19/03/2014 22:34

Gosh I'd love a meal out by myself! Good for you OP

Laquitar · 19/03/2014 22:44

Your collegues don't know what they miss.

I used to do it a lot. Ditto cinema, theatre, holidays.
I am far from loner, in fact i was very social and i like groups and parties etc. But i loved spontaneous things before dcs so i would just decide to go to a wine bar after work last minute. No arrangements with friends and writing down on the diary. Just going home after work i would see a wine bar from my bus window and i was like 'why not' . I would get off at next stop and walk into the wine bar or if it was full i would try another ine.
Happy days!
Done the same with weekends away. I would buy a bargain eurostar ticket on friday and just go to Paris on my own. I loved doing this.
When you go alone for dinner or hol you can go or leaveat any time without a full consultation with other people. It is so relaxing.

MidniteScribbler · 19/03/2014 22:47

I have no problems going and eating alone. I've travelled all over the world by myself pre-DS, and it never bothered me. I wanted to eat, they provide food. I often have a book or my iphone to keep me amused, but I also enjoy just people watching.

gordyslovesheep · 19/03/2014 22:50

yanbu - your work mates are daft I love eating alone !

Nocomet · 19/03/2014 23:05

I had nice pasta lunch in Frankie and Benny's the other day.

I was waiting for the car to get new tyres and thought sod it, I do not feel like a bloody panini from Costa again.

Original poster

PollyCazaletWannabe · 19/03/2014 23:11

Hurrah for the solitary diners!
Laquitar I really want to hop on a Eurostar and go to Paris now!

OP posts:

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