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AIBU?

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Original poster

Was this acceptable cafe behaviour or a big faux pas??

217 replies

AHardDaysWrite · 18/03/2014 20:45

We're having lunch in a busy cafe (me, DH, two dcs). We ordered a main meal each plus two sides of chips to share. All the chips were soon polished off. On the next table was a woman and her son. She ordered chips for him, but when they arrived he only ate a couple and refused the rest. They left soon afterwards. My DS wanted more chips, so I gave him the (largely untouched) portion from that table. DH was aghast but my reasoning was that the waiter was only going to bin them anyway - why waste food? Was I BU?

OP posts:
defineme · 18/03/2014 23:28

In the vast scheme of things-no I don't really think it matters.

However, I have a ds with asd and he will happily eat any food from anywhere-old chewing gum off the path or pop out of a bin. It would be very hard to draw the line with him if I was nicking left overs.

I think it's a very strong social rule actually and I did recoil when I read what you had done -just like when I heard that my ds's preschool assistant was eating the left overs off the kids' plates. I've obviously been conditioned not to this at a young age.

My kids are gannets and anything left on our table is fair game, but I have explained that we don't do that with visitors plates-just seems rude and wrong.

I think it's difficult and it's probably a good idea not to- it's probably not often possible to tell if it's germ free and it's a bad example for that reason.

Kif · 18/03/2014 23:35

I think skip surfing is fine. There are ways to choose - and there is a genuine issue with food waste.

But scrounging off someone else's table is just not restaurant behaviour.

KatoPotato · 18/03/2014 23:43

Back in the day my friend and I used to go on a night out with no money and get drinks bought for us.

When the chaos weren't quite so generous, we'd sit ourselves near quarrelling or snogging couples then neck their drinks when they left...

WorraLiberty · 18/03/2014 23:43

I wonder if any of the previous posters who say the OP is BU have ever experienced real hunger?

What does that have to do with anything? Confused

Are you suggesting that after eating a main meal and half a portion of chips, the OP's child was experiencing real hunger?

Seriously, some of the posts on this thread are so far off topic they're couldn't get back with a satnav.

KatoPotato · 18/03/2014 23:43

Chaps*

aurynne · 19/03/2014 05:56

I actually did this once myself... not with chips, but with hand-made chocolates in a "chocolate high tea" experience.

The chocolates were uber-amazingly delicious and the couple behind us left half theirs uneaten in their plate (oh the heresy!!!).

I brazenly and unashamedly took their plate when they left the chocolaterie. My DH was horrified. I said: well, I'll eat them all myself to save you from the yuck factor.

They were delicious :P

I would have knowingly risked D&V for them.

Wuxiapian · 19/03/2014 05:58

YWBU.

That is my gut reaction.

JapaneseMargaret · 19/03/2014 06:10

This reminds of the 'adjacent to refuse is refuse' episode of Seinfeld when George takes an eclaire with a nibble in it out of the bin to eat.

But it's OK because it was above the rim, and he knew who took the bite (an aunt).

You, my friend, have crossed the line that divides man and bum.

mercibucket · 19/03/2014 06:32

my mil was a war baby born into rationing. she thinks wasting food is sinful. she is morbidly obese

not that that has anything to do with the op's post either, but as we are now moving on to world hunger and possible solutions (we eat more food - brilliant Shock )

just sayin'

Grin
YouStayClassySanDiego · 19/03/2014 07:20

World hunger and the taking unwanted chips from another table to pacify her child don't equate.

YouStayClassySanDiego · 19/03/2014 07:23

*OP taking unwanted chips.

HippyPottyMouth · 19/03/2014 08:02

I'd rather see food enjoyed than wasted. I'm a size 12, so not obese, by the way.

LouiseSmith · 19/03/2014 08:20

I personally wouldn't have done it, but I can see OP's point. I defiantly wouldn't have done in front of anyone else..., shudders Grin

As for skipdiving, when I worked in Iceland. The Salvation Army used to be outside at closing time, waiting for the damaged out of date food and bits. Ok some of it was stuff that's packages had broken and couldn't resell, or one can in a twelve pack was broken, so no harm. But meat that had been left on the side un chilled for most of the day to. No thanks x

Marylou62 · 19/03/2014 09:05

I n my travelling days, I was in Athens and awfully hungry, having ran out of money. There was this little café and I would sit with a coke and wait...always got something to eat. Wouldn't do it now though...

Floggingmolly · 19/03/2014 09:14

That is really awful Hmm. Your kids now think it's acceptable to forage through other people's leftovers like starving mongrels...

Jesus Hmm

Throughthelongnight · 19/03/2014 09:18

I agree that this just goes against social convention. I doubt the OP would have asked the the people for their left over chips if they were still there, and had clearly finished.

I also think that excessive consumption of food (ie more chips after a main meal and side order) is just as wasteful as chucking them in the bin.

dustarr73 · 19/03/2014 09:19

No i wouldnt do it,you dont know where the kids hands have been.He could have mauled and licked all the chips.You dont know.
I just think its disgusting to eat off someone elses plate i dont even eat my kids leftovers.Its just wrong.Ugh.

LokiDokey · 19/03/2014 09:28

My mil is borderline obsessive overt wasting food. On holiday one year (all inclusive I add) the kids wanted a kfc for a change. They gave them a little pot of coleslaw, which neither dc like.
A few hours later we had this smell lingering, after some debate it was discovered mil had said pot of coleslaw her bag and it had burst. When asked why she just said she didn't want to waste it. God knows what she was planning on doing with it but on the same holiday she saved left over bread rolls to feed to the camels...

She also saves leftovers at home and thinks nothing of re frying chippy chips for several days after. I've always found it incredibly ott.

melika · 19/03/2014 09:32

Wasting food on our own table, yes, I agree everything has got to go.

But from someone elses table, no, how do you know if they had touched them, infectious diseases etc.

Yuk.

Joolsy · 19/03/2014 09:43

"That is really awful hmm. Your kids now think it's acceptable to forage through other people's leftovers like starving mongrels...
Jesus hmm" - yes of course they do, one day eating some chips from the next table, the next scavenging through people's bins because their parents don't feed them! Hmm

DarylDixonsDarlin · 19/03/2014 11:07

How do you know the reason the other child hadn't eaten the chips, was that he had been ill, or was feeling ill? That would be my first suspicion, and for that reason alone I think you were BU. ewww

But also it is just really grabby...makes me think of someone I know, (she wouldn't do it with food) but she would take something that had been left behind just to make her own grandchild happy, oh look here's the thing you want no need to get upset oh here look have this one, there there darling Hmm

Sparklingbrook · 19/03/2014 11:14

Yes Daryl they may have rushed off because 'chip leaving child' had a dose of D&V. Shock

FrankCarsonsDressingRoom · 19/03/2014 11:16

Grabby, skanky, greedy behaviour.

It's not a good lesson for your kids either.

oakmouse · 19/03/2014 11:18

It's not done, but I bet the boy and his mum would have been perfectly happy for you to have them.

I don't feel either disgust or moral outrage. I'm quite surprised by the depth of feeling on this, to be honest. It seems like an unconventional, but essentially harmless action.

Ploppy16 · 19/03/2014 11:20

I saw this a lot at the restaurant I worked at Grin, usually customers would ask if the other table were leaving the food though. It was quite a posh place as well, full people who could easily have ordered another plate of chips or whatever if they wanted, but free food is free food!
It will have been binned otherwise and that much left over food will have more than likely pissed off the chef..
Can't really get that worked up about it and I certainly don't see that you were teaching your children to scavenge for food or to eat until they are sick tbh. You were doing the staff a favour by clearing plates.