"I don't do boy babies"

[ShadowFall]

I am feeling very annoyed at the minute and not entirely sure if I'm being a bit oversensitive or not.

I'm currently on maternity leave after having DS2, who is now 6 months old.

Today, I had to pop into the office. I was able to leave DS1 in nursery, but took DS2 with me as had no childcare for him.

While in the office, several colleagues came over to say hello, have a quick chat, and some of them were cuddling / playing with DS2, as is fairly common when small babies visit the office.

One colleague, who I saw today for the first time since going off on maternity leave, came over. She said hi to me, then looked at DS2, and asked if he was a boy or a girl (he was wearing gender neutral clothes).

I said he was a boy... and she said "I don't do boy babies." I was a bit and wondering if I'd misheard her, so said "Excuse me?" and she replied "I only do girl babies." and walked off.

Now, I could understand it if she was too busy to stop and look at babies - she's paid to work, not socialise, after all. I could also understand it if she'd said that she didn't do babies at all - I know some people are worried about babies puking / pooping / crying at them, or are just disinterested in other people's babies.

But the bit about not doing boy babies? The implication that she'd have been interested in him if he'd had the good grace to be a girl is infuriating

DS2 is 6 months old. Too young to be showing any preference for stereotypically male things. Too young for her to even been able to tell whether he was a boy or a girl. Yet because he's got a penis, she thinks that he's not good enough for more than a second glance

AIBU to be feeling so insulted here?

'Ah this is today's jerk' - great saying, I'm going to remember that.

Aaaah you met a SMOG (smug mums of girls).

You do get them I'm afraid. Silly bint.

Did anyone else not think of this

The idea that she might be jealous about not having a boy herself hadn't occurred to me.

I like that theory. It's cheered me up a bit

How extremely rude. Now't as queer as folk, as they say.

What an unkind thing to say! I mean even if , for some bizarre reason, you thought it, who would be callous and rude enough to say it to the mother of a boy baby.
Bitchiness Plain and simple.

I've had that before, that exact phrase, also from someone who had a dd and apparently only wants more dd's

OP, as the mother of two boys you'll get used to it after a while! SMOGs are generally the worst - but I've had many comments from women who've got sons but also been "blessed" with a daughter. If you decide to have a 3rd child and you're "lucky" enough to have a girl, you'll never hear the end of it!

I would love to have some good come backs but I find a withering stare is all I can manage - now my boys are old enough to understand when these fucking idiots are talking to me it's even harder to resist a good put down. Let me know if you think of one!

How strange

"Let's hope she doesn't end up with lots of grandsons." Hahaha!!

How rude. How very, very rude. I would be very tempted to go with something like

"Oh yes, silly me. I forgot you have girls, so must be scared."

How very peculiar.

But yes, the jealousy theory makes the most sense.

Having a son is awesome. So is having a daughter. I have one of each and think them wonderful, but no doubt I would have been just as besotted with 2 boys or 2 girls.

She sounds fucking stupid.

I admit though, i'd be gunning for her now and wouldn't forget what she said.

When DS was born 2.5 years ago it coincided with the birth of an acquaintances fourth granddaughter. She came up to me at an event and said, in front of the daughter who had recently given birth to said granddaughter "I wanted a boy this time, we got another girl though"

I think I just looked at her like this

Congratulations! You not only have a lovely baby boy, he also doubles as a weirdo detector.

I would go with something like 'Me too - his penis fires lasers and I'm pretty sure his Y chromosome is trying to kill me in my sleep, but apparently you can't just keep them in a cage until they're ready to marry off without attracting the attention of social services.' and walk off. Don't 'do' boys babies? What a cunt!

I know a grandmother who said when her DIL was pregnant with twins 'I hope they're boys, I don't like bitches'.

Luckily they are boys, so will never suffer her rejection.

She has only boys and only grandsons.

I did say when I found out I was pregnant with DS after two DDs that I didn't know what to do with a boy, but was certainly willing to learn.

What an enormous dickhead.
You can't worry about someone like that.
Congrats OP.

My mil said to me "You better have boys because girls are little cows and I'll drown them haha". Oh right so presumably you'd rather you were male? What does that say about how you feel about me and your son's preference for women?

I had 2 girls. We never see the woman. I'm sure her future son in laws will love her!

I would take that to mean "my body doesn't do (ie make) boy babies" and could just as well have been said in sadness as in dismissiveness.

Maybe she really, really wanted a boy and never got one. Maybe she's just really awkward and graceless. Either way totally ignore.

I use the Ann Robinson tip too. I find it really useful.

Strop It is particularly odd when people express a dislike of children of their own sex.

When I was growing up, we had an old man living next door, who was delighted with his granddaughter. When his daughter went on to have twins (1 boy, 1 girl), he was not so pleased. My mum asked after them once and he replied 'well one of them's ok'. The boy was apparently Not Ok, because of the disappointing fact that he was male.

DoJo - I would go with something like 'Me too - his penis fires lasers and I'm pretty sure his Y chromosome is trying to kill me in my sleep, but apparently you can't just keep them in a cage until they're ready to marry off without attracting the attention of social services.'

I don't 'do' babies of either gender