to think my neighbour is being incredibly unreasonable about our cat?

[Objection]

We've recently moved into a very tiny village, two doors down from my in - laws. (moved in December)
We have a dog and a cat. (no kids)
FIL said the other day that my cat was pissing off their neighbour.
Apparently neighbour is absolutely furious and the cat is causing all kinds of hell.
What hell, you ask?
Well, she sunbathes on his dustbin and sits up when he comes out in the morning to stare at him getting into his car.
Apparently the ragey shouting we hear most mornings is him screaming at the cat, who just looks at him whilst he does so.
FIL, I think, expected me to do something about the cat's "rudeness".

AIBU to think this is actually quite funny and neighbour is a little unhinged?

How can anyone get into a lather about a cat looking at them? Oh, your neighbour's life must be pure and total heavenly utopia. If it wasn't for you cat going and sitting on his bin and giving him the look. Pure hell, poor man.

I'll be damned before I lock my very energetic, curious cat indoors just because a bunch of loons have a problem with animals other than humans having freedom

so if I moved next door to you and got myself a peregrine falcon that swooped down and ate your cat you'd be fine with that? I mean, it's just an animal having it's freedom right?

You chose to get the cat, 'bollocks to it, it's a cat and it's not my problem, it'll do what it pleases' not very considerate.

Yes the staring thing is funny, but the principle isn't.

My parents have two terriers and every morning without fail the neighbours cat comes and sits on top of the fence waiting for my parents terriers to be let out. The cat just sits there with a look that says haha you can't reach me and your stupid, as my parents terriers go bonkers, luckily my parents find it funny, as they know that the cat is doing this on purpose!

cathpip my cat stares under the fence at my neighbour's dog and hisses every time it comes near the fence which makes the dog growl. The neighbour can't hear the hissing and thinks the dog is just being naughty so tells it off every time it growls, poor dog!

I'm with the sheriff- take responsibility for the pet.

sheriffofnottingham its nice that you have a rabbit, but you don't seem to have much understanding of animals, and seem to be trying to apply human rules of territory to animals who don't speak English and cannot read or write.

Its cruel to take away animals' freedom. Animals do not exist for the benefit of humans, but they can co-exist with and provide company to humans. Its so easy to fall into the trap of keeping animals in a way that's most convenient to you, as a human, without considering animal welfare. I would never want to be responsible for a cat being cooped up.

I must admit I'm struggling to envisage a rabbit run which allows a cat in but not a rabbit out. And what about danger from owls or hawks, who have been known to prey on pet rabbits? Surely if you choose to leave your own door open, you risk a fox coming in? Or have you and your neighbours successfully sterilised the neighbourhood of all species other than a select few?

My husband's mad Grandfather hated cats and the way they stared at him. One from down the road used to try to get into the garage when he was parking his car. To combat this he painted 'No Cats' on his garage door! Maybe you could try this tactic and make a sign? It didn't work for him but your cat might be cleverer and have learned to read.

All this cat behaviour reminds me of the time my daughter's partner brought his mild mannered rottie to our house and we shut him in the dining room as the rest of the house was open plan and I didn't want him wandering upstairs.

The rottie was sitting there watching us through the glass door quite happily when my beautiful ginger cat came downstairs and proceeded to march up and down in front of the glass door. Poor dog stood it for quite some time until unable to take it any long launched himself at the door, shaking the whole house, at which point cat, completely unfazed, thought it appropriate to sit himself down in front of the door and wash his paws. In the end we had to remove cat from dog's sight before he broke through the door and daughter's partner had to go into the dining room and calm the poor dog down.

Cats - pure evil.

Not strictly relevant, but rabbits aren't a native species either sherrif. They were introduced by the Normans.

Get the cat a pair of dark sunglasses so that the neighbour can't tell if your cat os staring or not?

oh dear. Once again, my rabbit is not roaming free. She lives in my house, cats wander into my house if the patio doors are open (there is a baby gate so the rabbit does not get out. When I am outside I put her in a run, I would love to leave her there as she is perfectly safe and contained but cats gather outside the run and taunt her which frightens her (rabbits can die of fright). I am not anti cats, that's what cats do, I understand that.

My point is simply that if you have a pet you have a responsibility for that pet but with cats this seems not to be the case. It seems to be an acceptable attitude to get a pet that by your own admission you have no control over and not give a second thought to what it does.

peregrine falcon that swooped down and ate your cat you'd be fine with that?

If peregrine falcons were a common pet in my area than I'd take necessary precautions to protect my pets; of course I would.

Would I expect the owner of the falcon to keep their bird in a cage? No. Because I think keeping birds cooped up is even more cruel than keeping cats cooped up!

LessMissAbs makes some good points further up thread.

I wouldn't keep doors open anyway in case bees got in from the local beekeeper anyway - maybe I should write a letter of complaint to him to ask him to control his bees?

Red kites are wild? As are all the other species. Cats are domestic pets....?

over use of "anyway" sorry!

How do you propose you control a cat outside the home?
Are you really trying to say that you don't approve of cats as pets at all, normalishdude?

I am sure the rude cat could stare out the peregrine falcon to put it off

While we're banning animals from our properties, I would like someone to tell the deer to stop eating my hostas.

I've tried setting the cats on them but to no avail.

good point objection, we also have neighbour's bees visiting every now and then. I'm sure they stare as well, although it's hard to say..

That's because it would go against the animal's nature to "control" a cat too much Sheriff. I'm of the opinion that animals weren't put on this earth for my convenience, and as a species, we as humans already have the planet pretty much arranged to suit ourselves, so I'm glad for what little diversity we have left.

"Controlling a cat" would mean taking away its freedom to roam, which is one of its inherent natural characteristics. I think that's cruel. I'm divided on whether keeping rabbits as pets is cruel. I think its cruel to keep big dogs as pets in small houses and barely ever walk them. I think theres a lot of cruelty that goes on but I wouldn't say that not controlling cats is necessarily so. I like cats as pets as they are on the few animals that can be kept while still retaining a reasonably natural lifestyle, and as such, I think they are very suitable as pets.

Human history tends to agree. That's why we have domestic cats now.

The fact is that your rabbit's natural instinct (if she has any left) would be to run away from your home into the "wild" where she would quite possibly be killed by a predator. She wouldn't choose to roam free and return for meals out of choice. You are therefore keeping what is in effect a non-domesticated animal in an unnatural environment out of amusement for yourself, yet criticising others for keeping different species in a more natural way.

*Qualified to add that not all rabbits which escape are killed by predators - there is a noticeable strain of black house rabbits living wild near here, who seem pretty successfully living outwith the confines of a house and garden.

LessMissAbs - that's an excellent point. At what point do you define keeping pets as being cruel?
I dislike the idea of pets being kept inside the house at all times (eg. cats or rabbits) as I think the vast majority would have a better standard of living if they could roam outside, with fresh air and plants etc.
(Though I'm not protesting the idea of house cats entirely, as I know many are more than happy to remain indoors).
Our dog, for what its worth, gets at least two, normally three, long (at least an hour) walks everyday and then day trips at the weekend.
For me, this is the bare minimum we should be giving him. I actually feel guilty sometimes that we can't be with him more often and take him out more - but his life is a lot better with us than with his previous owners.

LessMissAbs you make some very good points. There's not much there I can disagree with out of principle.

The only point I would add is that my decision to keep a rabbit (rightly or wrongly) does not negatively impact the people around me. I accept that a cat will come into my garden as cats roam and controlling them can't be done. What I do criticise is the selfishness of people who keep one in the first place, who consider that their cats right to roam is more important than other people's enjoyment of their own property.

I'd be worried the NDN would hurt the cat. Don't know what I'd do, but would keep a very close eye out

Sounds like he has a screw loose.

Weirdly enough, he actually has a history of keeping falcons which this thread has just reminded me of

I'm a bit suspicious of sheriff now [lighthearted] think maybe she is the neighbour and is threatening me with falcons.

I will send the cat over to stare through the window and investigate!

[joking sheriff, I can actually see where you are coming from but unfortunately cats going where they don't belong is just one of those things)

LessMissAbs - that's an excellent point. At what point do you define keeping pets as being cruel?

I would presume to define something as big as that! For me though I would be looking for a pet which showed signs of anxiety in its body language and stereotypies or escape anxiety.

I have horses...for instance, if I had a horse which crib bites, I would make sure it had plenty of turnout. In fact, I would do this for any horse. I would drive commute further and pay more to ensure that horse had good turnout of a varied and natural type, with company of at least one other horse. I wouldn't keep it in a stable in my garden because it was easier for me. But animals will do a lot of stuff a human wants them to, and it can be hard to spot the subtle signs of body language that show unhappiness.

I think there are too many pets. Dogs in particular. I think this situation causes too many animals to be bred as pets, and once they are alive, of course you have a responsibility as a higher species to ensure they enjoy that life. I do think cats make good pets though as they can live a very natural life while still being kept as pets. Working dogs or dogs kept properly and active - ditto. Dogs and cats kept indoors all their lives or turned into a garden for a few minutes each day - no, that's cruel, because its not enough exercise or socialisation for any animal and too far removed from their natural inclination to investigate their territory.