To write off a loan I gave my friend

[Bornin1984]

Here we go...

I lent my friend around 200 while her husband was poorly in hospital and basically she was on her arse. She works he doesn't! This was around 6momths ago, she keeps saying she needs to pay it back but doesn't make any attempt to!

am I unreasonable
To write it off as
A gift and never loan anybody. Money again!!

I lent a friend money several times a couple of years go, about £1k in total. I got it back, but it took along time and multiple excuses from her. It's was very straining on our relationship, as although I never asked for it, she clearly found it hard that she couldn't pay me. Now I refuse to lend her money, but buy her things she needs instead as "gifts". Much less stressful.

I'm not going to contact her-
If she wants me she knows how to be In touch

Depends how good a friend it was. I have lent money before, knowing full well I would never see it. And only on that basis would I do it again. If I get the money repaid, I'd consider it a bonus. I would only ever lend money with the assumption I'd not see it again; then I won't be disappointed.

To be honest I'd be very dubious about letting her keep your bank details too...

She isn't dodgy I've
Known her ten years except in the sense won't pay what she owes but I thank you for that concern

ive just today lent my best mate £400 for car repairs. its a sad world when you cant help someone you care about out - but i am expecting to get my money back at some point.

i love my friend dearly though and she had no where to turn - i offered.

That's the same reason I offered, I know if it was me she would have done the same!

but i know my mate will pay it back! i put it on my credit card so she can pay it as and when. as long as she pays it at some point im not bothered.
she wouldnt take total advantage and not pay it. i would politely ask your friend if she can possibly start to pay the loan back a bit at a time?

Im going to wait to see if she gets in touch again, like I said up thread I feel we're drifting!

If it's gone its gone, if it's meant to be it will be

It is so cheeky to borrow money then not pay it back. It shows such a lack of regard for the person.

That is too much money to lend a friend imo. Especially if they are struggling with money. Better to lend a small amount, no more than £50 and also to sort out an arrangement for repayment when you lend it, so everyone knows where they stand.

Repaying £200 by paying back £10 a month will take nearly 2 years to repay, which would ruin a friendship imo!

I hope your friend does repay you eventually.

If she wasn't planning to pay it back she wouldn't mention it

That's not how it works IME (if anything, the reverse - when the person mentions it, generally you don't see the money again. The person who doesn't mention invariably just pays the money back, no messing about).

Any money I have ever lent has never been paid back hey ho!

I think you have kissed good bye to this money too. Sorry (been there too).